Are we losing the plot?

[AnnieC]

People who deliberately turn a thread into an argument just because it is something they don't agree with should be ignored and not replied to then perhaps the thread would not descend into a slanging match This forum is about supporting each other but some seem to treat it like a diet war zone where sides have to be taken and if some people think you are not on the right side you can get abused about it as many members here have been and that is terrible and enough to make newbies run for the hills.

 

[Robinredbreast]

People who deliberately turn a thread into an argument just because it is something they don't agree with should be ignored and not replied to then perhaps the thread would not descend into a slanging match This forum is about supporting each other but some seem to treat it like a diet war zone where sides have to be taken and if some people think you are not on the right side you can get abused about it as many members here have been and that is terrible and enough to make newbies run for the hills.

Sometimes it takes a bigger person to just walk away...............................

 

[zand]

Now the question is when does a reasonable discussion become an unreasonable argument? Possibly, it's when the other 'side' is 'winning'? That's my personal view which I don't want to force onto anyone else.

RRB the problem with your suggestion, whilst it would keep me out of trouble, is that if, in my opinion the person I am arguing against is giving bad advice, then I can't walk away with a clear conscience. As I said above, sometimes there is a fine line between discussing and arguing.

Oh, I'm going out now, so I won't be reading any replies for several hours (in case you think I'm hiding)

 

[AndBreathe]

Sometimes it takes a bigger person to just walk away...............................

The issue is where the walker is the newly arrived person, and they leave nonethewiser and the combatants have waved their willies to their hearts' contents.

Please don't think I don't appreciate how tricky all of this is.


Normally I'd be charging a reassuringly outrageous fee for being this challenging.

 

[alliebee]

At the end of the day. Honestly does it really matter what diet someone would like to follow..I mean so long as it works for the individual? As a recent returner to the forum but still learning a lot. I find all the different advice invaluable.
I like reading the different sides esp with regard to experienced posters and what has worked for them
When you are new there is an enormous amount of info to take on board but when it turns into a disagreement between the different ways of tackling diabetes I can see its very disconcerting to the op asking a question..I've noticed the person asking the question retreats from the thread and probably feels bad that they maybe caused the row. Because it very often does start a row.
I've seen this on medical forums for the same reason..each side posting long lists of so called 'proof'
Obviously its not helpful to newbies at all
I love the idea of a suggestion box too
I remain in awe of the same few here that find the time and patience to answer the same questions over and over with support and kindness
This is a wonderful forum and I for one am truly appreciative

 

[Robinredbreast]

At the end of the day. Honestly does it really matter what diet someone would like to follow..I mean so long as it works for the individual? As a recent returner to the forum but still learning a lot. I find all the different advice invaluable.
I like reading the different sides esp with regard to experienced posters and what has worked for them
When you are new there is an enormous amount of info to take on board but when it turns into a disagreement between the different ways of tackling diabetes I can see its very disconcerting to the op asking a question..I've noticed the person asking the question retreats from the thread and probably feels bad that they maybe caused the row. Because it very often does start a row.
I've seen this on medical forums for the same reason..each side posting long lists of so called 'proof'
Obviously its not helpful to newbies at all
I love the idea of a suggestion box too
I remain in awe of the same few here that find the time and patience to answer the same questions over and over with support and kindness
This is a wonderful forum and I for one am truly appreciative

What a lovely positive post

 

[alliebee]

Thankyou . Its true though Robin

 

[Giverny]

Just to update you all, I'm looking in to the possibility of adding a suggestion box

I'm also working on a system where users can run their own blogs from the forum. I had noticed quite a few complaints about people using the forum as their own personal blog... and hopefully soon, they'll actually be able to do so and keep it separate from the main discussions.

 

[Robinredbreast]

Now the question is when does a reasonable discussion become an unreasonable argument? Possibly, it's when the other 'side' is 'winning'? That's my personal view which I don't want to force onto anyone else.

RRB the problem with your suggestion, whilst it would keep me out of trouble, is that if, in my opinion the person I am arguing against is giving bad advice, then I can't walk away with a clear conscience. As I said above, sometimes there is a fine line between discussing and arguing.

Oh, I'm going out now, so I won't be reading any replies for several hours (in case you think I'm hiding)

I really do understand, but some members,( certainly not genuine newbies who need our help, advice and support) need to walk away. Part of the problem is that we are anonymous, some hide behind that screen and just type way with a total disregard of what they are knowingly doing. Some also have many different guises too
Best wishes RRB

 

[AnnieC]

Sometimes it takes a bigger person to just walk away...............................

It is not turning a blind eye just not fuelling their argument no point in them carrying it on if no one relies to it

I really do understand, but some members,( certainly not genuine newbies who need our help, advice and support) need to walk away. Part of the problem is that we are anonymous, some hide behind that screen and just type way with a total disregard of what they are knowingly doing. Some also have many different guises too
Best wishes RRB

I

Now the question is when does a reasonable discussion become an unreasonable argument? Possibly, it's when the other 'side' is 'winning'? That's my personal view which I don't want to force onto anyone else.

RRB the problem with your suggestion, whilst it would keep me out of trouble, is that if, in my opinion the person I am arguing against is giving bad advice, then I can't walk away with a clear conscience. As I said above, sometimes there is a fine line between discussing and arguing.

Oh, I'm going out now, so I won't be reading any replies for several hours (in case you think I'm hiding)

I think a reasonable discussion becomes unreasonable when some people have been abused from not doing a certain diet and what they do is ridiculed

 

[Totto]

On

I really do understand, but some members,( certainly not genuine newbies who need our help, advice and support) need to walk away. Part of the problem is that we are anonymous, some hide behind that screen and just type way with a total disregard of what they are knowingly doing. Some also have many different guises too
Best wishes RRB

On most other forums I am or have been active on threads usually are split when something like this occur, so the original thread can continue and the combatants can go on with the discussion in a new thread. I understand if this isn't possible on this forum as we seem to have comparably few moderators, but if possible I think it is a good idea to divide threads when they go off topic.

I miss Mo1905. He did a really good job as moderator and could with a gentle nudge often keep threads on the right path.

 

[douglas99]

Just to update you all, I'm looking in to the possibility of adding a suggestion box

I'm also working on a system where users can run their own blogs from the forum. I had noticed quite a few complaints about people using the forum as their own personal blog... and hopefully soon, they'll actually be able to do so and keep it separate from the main discussions.

@Giverny

That would be a very positive step, if you can make that happen.

 

[sanguine]

some hide behind that screen and just type way with a total disregard of what they are knowingly doing. Some also have many different guises too

What do you mean by 'different guises' RRB? Different character facets or do some people actually have multiple forum identities? The latter is wrong surely and presumably against the rules.

 

[izzzi]

The issue is where the walker is the newly arrived person, and they leave nonethewiser and the combatants have waved their willies to their hearts' contents.

Please don't think I don't appreciate how tricky all of this is.


Normally I'd be charging a reassuringly outrageous fee for being this challenging.

How about a full refund
That is probably the main reason the forum can't provide all the necessary requirements to please all "outrageous cost"
As far as I am aware Diabetes.co.uk is privately owned and this forum is run a tight budget.
That is why I believe Giverny and the moderators are doing the best they can under current demands.
We should all remember that many members still in pain, use this forum for friendship and humor, which may not be diet related, yet still provides that so called good medicine (laughter).

 

[sanguine]

i wrote a long letter to Osidge, i even used capitals and got no response, i should at very least been banned for what i wrote in the letter but nothing, do administrators put people on ignore too? in which case i may be talking to myself lol

I got no explanation for my recent temporary ban.

You two really must stop writing in invisible ink you know.

 

[Giverny]

What do you mean by 'different guises' RRB? Different character facets or do some people actually have multiple forum identities? The latter is wrong surely and presumably against the rules.

It's not uncommon for users to adopt more than one identity. This isn't directly against our rules unless one of their accounts is banned. It's not exactly hard to figure out when people are using more than one account

 

[AndBreathe]

Prefix? Who knew?

Is that field a search parameter @Giverny ?

I'd agree in my time here, we have seen a number of people who show significant signs of reactive hypoglycaemia.

I'd speculate that when someone is new, they're unlikely to explore the prefix option. I've been here almost a year, and I had absolutely no idea it existed. Thinking back, I have seen it on threads, but very, very rarely.

Do others have a view on that?

 

[izzzi]

Prefix? Who knew?

Is that field a search parameter @Giverny ?

I'd agree in my time here, we have seen a number of people who show significant signs of reactive hypoglycaemia.

I'd speculate that when someone is new, they're unlikely to explore the prefix option. I've been here almost a year, and I had absolutely no idea it existed. Thinking back, I have seen it on threads, but very, very rarely.

Do others have a view on that?

Ok @AndBreathe We have now lost your plot, surely this must be on a different thread.

 

[Giverny]

Prefix? Who knew?

Is that field a search parameter @Giverny ?

I'd agree in my time here, we have seen a number of people who show significant signs of reactive hypoglycaemia.

I'd speculate that when someone is new, they're unlikely to explore the prefix option. I've been here almost a year, and I had absolutely no idea it existed. Thinking back, I have seen it on threads, but very, very rarely.

Do others have a view on that?

I'm assuming you meant to post this on Brunneria's suggestion thread! I can make prefixes mandatory if you think they're not obvious enough

 

[sanguine]

It's not uncommon for users to adopt more than one identity. This isn't directly against our rules unless one of their accounts is banned. It's not exactly hard to figure out when people are using more than one account

I have to say I'm a bit concerned about that. I can understand why nearly all of us have anonymous identities, but what exactly are the positives of having more than one account? I can certainly think of some negatives.

As for figuring out who they are, I'm sure it's easy for you by checking IP addresses, but are you saying it should be obvious to us by what people post?