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Ashamed.

I just wonder if this could be of help: https://dwed.org.uk You could also search for diabulimia on the forum page. You may not find it relates to you at all, but some of what you say resonates with me and problems I have had in my over 50 years of having Type 1 diabetes and I didn't want not to post it in case it might help.
 
Please be honest with her. I had a phone consultation with the dietician and wasn’t going to admit I was in total diabetic denial. However, she caught me on a day when I was feeling so rough, I couldn’t put up a coping front and was actually totally honest and asked for help. She didn’t tell me off, but spent 45 minutes on the phone, sorting me out in an individual way. I never dreamt Iwould get so much sensible advice tailored to my individual needs. So please admit you are struggling to her x
 
Hello @philly1991

A pump would be a massive help, however you'll need to prove to your DSN that you can manage your condition on injections first, as they have to gain funding to approve patients for pump therapy they cannot justify the cost if you're struggling on injections as that could mean the pump won't work for you. Using a pump requires continuous patient input as you will need to feel confident tweaking your pump ratios/settings and a good knowledge of t1 care, they cannot simply be switched on ready to go. Speak to your DSN because if this is an aspiration for you then your nurse will help get you on track for you and make sure you have done DAFNE too.
 

I think this is another thing I've struggled with in the past, I give it my all to reduce my hba1c and test regularly and get to a stage where I am managing my condition but I can only sustain it short term and it's never long enough to be considered for the pump. I think last time I discussed it with my DSN they said I had to have 6 months of stability for them to consider it. But at the same time I honestly think the pump would help me get that stability so to me it seems backwards. It's definitely something I'd like to discuss with her.
I completed DAFNE December 2019 and I absolutely loved it! Just taking a week out of life to completely focus on diabetes was amazing, it definitely taught me alot. I just need to start putting things into practice again. Definitely hard knowing where to start and not feel overwhelmed.
 
Again @philly1991 Exactly as you’ve said here, tell your DSN this and explain it’s your goal to get onto a pump. 6 months isn’t long in the grand scheme of things and it’s a good way to focus your mind.

Don’t re-run past events as that will hold you back, you have the best opportunity now to get more help, replaying history will mean life will repeat itself so move forward and take it one day at a time, write your goal somewhere so it’s visible and start today, if you feel you are mentally lapsing then ask for help, here or with your DSN but don’t be afraid to ask x
 

Thankyou, another testing day today but one day at a time as you have said and each day is a new day. Hopeful for a better one tomorrow.
Perhaps you're right though, maybe my dwelling too much on past experiences is holding me back to some extent and will contribute to this reoccurring cycle i keep reliving.
 
Unfortunately past events can affect your present and future outcomes, I came across CBT as a therapy whilst doing a 'living well with diabetes' course, I mentioned earlier in this thread CBT is a useful therapy to help overcome negative past experiences, it is particularly important if you are living in a vicious circle of behaviour and is directly linked to your ability to manage your long term control, and living with t1 you need to live mindfully in the present to ensure you are doing what you need to be doing every day to ensure the best outcome with your care. Personally I feel that living with diabetes does need a positive mindset because it is so intricately linked to mental health in many ways, here's more information on CBT: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/cognitive-behavioural-therapy-cbt/

Definitely one day at time Philly, try and keep a journal of your emotions, negative and positive too, it may help you identify triggers.
 
Juicyj said:
Hope you're ok ?
Click to expand...

I'm hanging on in there, a few family issues have set me back again. I really try not to let things like this have such a negative impact but as soon as anything changes my mood the first thing that goes is any semblance of control I have in managing my diabetes. I'm just so ready for my appointment and to get back on track and hopefully get some CBT organised through my DSN or some form of therapy so that I don't keep having set backs like this.
 
Had my appointment this morning, DSN was very supportive and it was refreshing to see a friendly face. Firstly, I made it through my appointment without crying (just), for the first time EVER (yay). My hba1c was high (91) which I expected, so I'm back to frequent appointments (also expected), I did bring up the idea of therapy as I've thought about it alot and agree that it could help me out of this negative cycle I keep reliving but she didn't make any suggestions or put forward any referrals so perhaps I'll have to bring this up again at my next appointment and be more forceful with it.
She had a look at my readings from the last couple of weeks and was happy with those as they show that I can do it and my carb counting is good and I'm reacting the way I should be to my readings etc but she does want me testing more often, and obviously wants me taking insulin as I should be doing. Sticking with the libre, she has updated my prescription to a libre 2 so I'm excited to see what they've changed. Any advice on this welcome
Thankyou all for your help and support, tiny steps but I'm optimistic.
 
Your post rings a bell with me as a type 1 who like every other type 1 has gone up and down over the years. I confessed to my dad recently that my hba1c had gone up and after a brief discussion his final thought was 'type 1 is something that isn't your fault and it is something the whole family should help carry the burden of'. Practically that means whatever he can do to make it easier for me including having a moan!
There's a lot of pressure for type 1s to solve the complex problem of imitating a pancreas (No Condition Where More is Expected of the patient to misquote someone). This isn't to say you can't improve but it is to say that its a work in progress and you should be proud of consistently hitting the basics e.g. test at the right times, get the basal right and try to eat similar amounts at similar times if you want things to be more predictable i.e. process not just the results.
I will be doing the same!!
 

Thankyou for this, it's so easy to feel like a failure so it's always nice to hear from people who can relate. My door is always open for anybody who needs to offload or for a general chat.
 
Hi Philly its very heartening to hear your appointment with your DN went well and good to hear you have already made improvements. On the mental health side I dont think a DN is anle to give you any referrals son think you should make an appointment with your GP and be firm about needing support. Have a look at the MIND website we found it very helpful when a family member needed help. Well done you.
 
I'm still not making any progress, and when I try my readings are just insane and it makes me want to give up. Stupid diabetes. I just need that motivation, not sure why I'm finding it so hard just to make these initial steps.
 

Im here currently, your not alone. I’ve not been carb counting and eating the right foods and feel like I’ve let myself go too. The first step to starting over is being able to admit you haven’t been on your game as much (and that’s ok! Its ****** tough constantly thinking and working on this every day.)
Remember they are there to help and not to judge, take baby steps. Maybe Start with a very small change each day or each week and you will get there again. Never be too hard on yourself it’s a tough relentless condition to live with at times!

(Mod edit)
 
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