Burnout..

[mw1305]

Hi

I was diagnosed with T1 7 years ago when I was pregnant with my first child. It was a whirlwind, I was put on insulin at 24 weeks pregnant and then got the insulin pump during my second pregnancy 3 years later. My management during my pregnancies was great both times - very tough but I made it work and thankfully both kids were born healthy.

Fast forward 4 years and things are a bit of a mess with me. My management has gone downhill and specifically the last 6 or 7 months I haven’t been testing, carb counting, attending clinic, changing my site, eating well nearly as much as I should have. To the point where physically and mentally I’m exhausted. I’m angry at your myself for getting to this stage, I know was I need to do but for whatever reason I don’t (there’s always an excuse!!)
I’ve made an appointment to see my diabetic nurse tomorrow and I’m so nervous as I feel I have let myself down and I’m embarrassed at the lack of care I’ve given myself. I have 2 kids who need me so why isn’t it a priority for me to stay healthy?!
Has anyone else felt they need a ‘restart’ button and to take a step back and figure it out? Did it help? Do you have any advice? I feel so lost with it all just now, I’m even struggling to get to work and carry on like everything is normal as I just feel exhausted with the lot.

 

[Resurgam]

I can remember how I felt with two children to look after, particularly when I was being badgered to eat carbs - soooo healthy, avoid those dreadful fats - oh yes, and I was not even diagnosed as diabetic back then.
Something that comes to mind is the comment about it being difficult to concentrate on draining the swamp due to the presence of so many alligators. What you do is set up a small industrial unit processing alligators into steaks and handbags.
Consider yourself, just a little more, maybe opt in for things such as grocery delivery, if you do not have that already, take the time to do the small things you need to do - two minutes to check could save so much time feeling unwell or battling a hypo - it makes sense to do these things, but those alligators are most distracting.....

 

[Antje77]

Hello @mw1305 and welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you feel so low at the moment and hope it'll get better soon!

Diabetic burn out is a well known thing and definitely not your fault!
A horrible part of it is that not taking care of your diabetes because you can't face it and because you're too tired of it leaves you with high blood sugars. The high blood sugars leave you even more exhausted, making it more difficult to manage your diabetes.

What's more, high bg affects our moods as well for most of us and not in a good way. High bg can make us feel depressed, including self loathing, feelings of guilt, anger and shame, and feeling we're not good enough. It's a symptom, not necessarily a cause.
So please talk about that tomorrow with your diabetes nurse and ask for help, it's not your fault, and a bit of support may help you find a way to feel better and improve your diabetes management.

Good luck tomorrow and let us know how it went!

 

[mw1305]

Thank you both for replying the other night!

Yesterday’s appointment at the hospital went well - as in I got everything off my chest and laid all my cards on the table. It wasn’t easy to admit to how much I have been neglecting myself and my condition for so long.

However...I now have the Libre which I’m confident will help. I have an appointment with the dietician on Monday as my relationship with food isn’t a good one and a massive source of my anxiety. I also have further appointments with my nurse and she is basically treating me as a ‘newbie’ so a step back and fresh mindset will be good. I just need work it all out emotionally and mentally and go from there. I’m going to be off work whilst I try and get things under control and focus a bit more on me.

That being said, today, I woke up high, went low and had to reach for the lucozade all before 8.30am this morning. We haven’t actually changed my settings yet as they need to see more testing etc to get an idea of where I am and how to adjust it. Can only get better right??

 

[Antje77]

Thanks for giving an update and very happy it's such an optimistic one!

Has anyone else felt they need a ‘restart’ button and to take a step back and figure it out?

Sounds to me as if the nurse has helped you to find that restart button already, the 'newbie' approach sounds very wise

Good luck, and don't despair when it doesn't always go as you want, even when you try very hard.

 

[NicoleC1971]

Thank you both for replying the other night!

Yesterday’s appointment at the hospital went well - as in I got everything off my chest and laid all my cards on the table. It wasn’t easy to admit to how much I have been neglecting myself and my condition for so long.

However...I now have the Libre which I’m confident will help. I have an appointment with the dietician on Monday as my relationship with food isn’t a good one and a massive source of my anxiety. I also have further appointments with my nurse and she is basically treating me as a ‘newbie’ so a step back and fresh mindset will be good. I just need work it all out emotionally and mentally and go from there. I’m going to be off work whilst I try and get things under control and focus a bit more on me.

That being said, today, I woke up high, went low and had to reach for the lucozade all before 8.30am this morning. We haven’t actually changed my settings yet as they need to see more testing etc to get an idea of where I am and how to adjust it. Can only get better right??

I have 3 kids and type 1 plus FT job so really understand how hard it can be just to deal with motherhood/job without the daily grind of type 1. It is great that you have recognised you need help and have gone and sorted it out rather than trudging on feeling awful as well as angry/guilty.
Food for us type 1 s can be an immense source of anxiety and I hope the dietician has a counselling hat on too! If not your clinic may have a psychologist they could get you into on the basis that your control is affected by what ever is going on right now. I had this at Guildford which just shows you how common these things are for diabetics.
Can you get more help at home in the meantime or find a local face to face support group. This forum is great but nothing beats talking to other type 1s who get it! Take it easy during your time off work and set yourself small goals rather than an unrealistic plan of perfection! Libre will certainly help you tweak your insulin s better. Wishing you lots of luck anyway!