I don't post very often but I do look around the forum quite a bit. Well I don't really know where to start as there is so much going on at the moment. So here goes, I went to the doctor for a check up and blood tests a couple of weeks ago, I was with the nurse for 1 1/2 hours as I've been having a lot of issues with my diabetes. My hba1c is 133, my kidney disease has gone to stage 4 and they are talking about dialysis.my sugars are very rarely below 18. I wake up at least 7 times in the night for a wee and if I'm not doing that I'm laying awake with cramps. I've got bad nephropathy in my feet and the worst throbbing in my fingers. My vision is getting worse day by day. I've been waiting for an iron infusion since may. All of this is while im giving myself 48 units of levemir in the morning and 52 at night. Novoraoid is 18 breakfast 11 lunch and 39 with dinner and none of this is making any difference, I can go to bed and my sugars might be 17/18 and I can wake up in the morning and they can be 26+. I eat healthy and have an active job, which I'm slowly coming to an end with that due to the way my health is, as I'm running out of energy and being a roofer things could get complicated. I've well and truly had enough I'm so depressed with it all, all I do is do what the doctors say and nothing is working, the insulin is clearly not working. The whole thing is really getting to me, I send my days feeling tired and in pain from the cramps. Also I'm scared about my hba1c (133) , my kidneys and my vision, stroke/ heart attack. I feel lost and alone , I'm married but don't want to worry my wife and I feel I can't talk to my mum and dad as my sister died 5 years ago at age 35 due to diabetes. I've always be a fighter but I'm warn out physically and mentally All the insulin units I give myself are what the diabetic nurse tells me to take, she puts them up every time I speak to her.