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Cause for concern?

Fleegle

Well-Known Member
Messages
775
Location
Denmead
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
It seems now that every week someone is saying goodbye. And not saying - I am cured, thanks for your help; no that would be wonderful but more often than not because they feel like they are no longer welcome here. And then I see people saying that the site isn't well managed (today) or implied bullying (previously) or being ridiculed for having a different opinion (typically if they say something non LCHF in my experience).

So what is the plan? Surely it is best for no one for people with vast amounts of experience to go simply because they cannot continue here in it's form? I personally, and I wonder how many others, have had great responses to my posts and the fewer experienced people there are the less great advice you could possibly expect - and certainly the advice given will become less and less diverse.

So what can be done? Who can say what the changes needed are to make this site what it was - whatever that was. I feel like to stop the rot something proactive needs to be done rather than trying to convince the leaver once gone to stay.
 
Im approaching this question as someone who was a long term member under my original account (Badcat) but chose to have my account deleted over the summer because I became so concerned at some of the things going on, particularly a) the dominance of a very smal number of voices and more concerningly, b) the degree to which strident and often negative opinions re other peoples medical treatment were being thrown around
I returned to see if much had changed as I believe that the experience and support of other diabetics can be invaluable, particularly to those newly diagnosed and / or struggling with one of D’s endless curveballs - but only if it is delivered with caution and respect. In my professional life there was a saying that theory was vital to learn but only useful once you had learnt to hold theory lightly
NB I chose to use the avater I have because I think its an important starting point for people looking to post advice or information on the forum
In terms of what I have seen since retruning and my answer to the question posed - I have seen a few of the v strident group moderate their language by prefacing their dietary opinion with caveats to the effect that the same approach wont automatically work for anyone else etc and have seen some evidence of some people checking a posters medical status before offering opinion(s) - I have however also seen abject failures to do so and to offer inapproprite (imo) medical comment. I pick up less of a plain nasty vibe on the site but havnt been back for long, although long enough to know its still effecting things
Cause for concern - yes
Am I staying? - for the moment probably but the jury’s out long term
 
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This is a quality world forum. Sometimes wires will get crossed and in my short time as a member I have never seen any nastiness or bad advice that has not been corrected. If you are not happy Goodbye, you are always welcome back as is or as a different log in.
 
Boo1979 said:
NB I chose to use the avater I have because I think its an important starting point for people looking to post advice or information on the forum
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Good point. However, as they tell aspiring writers, "write from what you know." Sharing our personal experiences with diabetes is part of the point of a place like this. It may or may not be relevant to the experience of others, but it is what we know best.
 
I agree but there is a world of difference between saying “X is the thing to do,” “most of us here do X ”, “ X has worked well for me”, and “Ive found X generally works well for me, these were some of the challenges”
 

Good point, and I have sometimes been guilty of just what you are criticizing.
 
I've been in this forum for a few years and people come and go. There have been similar arguments before and will be again.
There have always been rude people, and people who think their way is the only way, it is a reflection of life.

So @Fleegle what I'm trying to say is don't worry the forum is big enough to carry on despite losing a few members for whatever reason.
 
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I think (not that anyone is probably interested) that like life people come and people go.
The forum should not be a static place where there is only one way and to be honest I really don't think it is.
Some people obviously don't agree but that's their prerogative and if they want to leave then they should.
What I can't see the reason for is all the prolonged goodbye threads. Why do people need to tell us they are leaving?
When I go, either because i don't feel I am contributing anything useful any more or because I'm dead, I will simply log off and stop posting.
Hopefully not a soul will notice because by then there will be a whole cohort of new people to take up the reins and that is how it should be.
We are all here voluntarily.. no-one made us sign up. The mods are volunteers voted in by us the members and I have always found them approachable and friendly for the most part. There are rules and if we disobey them then we get told off. Fair enough as that keeps the forum civil and friendly. We don't pay anything to use it and it has helped a whole lot of us to get better. What's not to like?
 
I broadly agree with the sentiment that people come and go and that new cohorts will arrive indeed this will keep this fresh and vibrant. But it does seem to me we are losing people for the wrong reasons and when you lose someone who has one two or more years of experience you lose those longer term trends. It would be great to not lose people and get loads of new people (although I also obviously wish no new people had to join!).
 
They dont see the forum as civil and friendly, thats the problem : (

and, to be honest, there are a few very vocal ones who are not civil, friendly, compassionate or willing to hold back before diving in with their current mantra.

There is also a lack of respect for those who have different ways of dealing with their diabetes, regardless of there being multiple health issues to juggle, or them having different reactions to food than the very vocal ones.

Posted edited by moderator to removed content breaking the forum rules.
 
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bulkbiker said:
What I can't see the reason for is all the prolonged goodbye threads. Why do people need to tell us they are leaving?
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For me the reason is quite straightforward. I have made a thread so that my friends can see that I am leaving voluntarily.

Edited by moderator to remove content that broke the forum rules.
 
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I have not read the replies on here yet but I joined maybe back in Feb 2017 after being diagnosed and have been on and off here just because I come on with questions. So I have noticed less answers on my threads and was wondering where everyone was at lol
 
I've been on the Forum since early 2014. There's been a number of "events" where people have taken "offence" and left, some commenting as they go, others just go. It is disappointing when some of the individuals have considerable experience of our diverse situation but the forum will carry one, the demand for it is not going away in a hurry.
Some that have left have, in the terms of another forum I am on, shown the classic signs of a "flounce", which don't impress me much.

I think newbies might be given some grounding in does and don't s. Some appear, and I maybe wrong, and start to give some pretty forthright views which can seem a little jarring.
 
Fleegle said:
or being ridiculed for having a different opinion (typically if they say something non LCHF in my experience).
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I share that concern, Fleegle. It's something which occurs in the T1 threads too.

There's an alarming number of threads where newly dx'd T1s are asking for a bit of advice on whether they can eat the toast/hash browns/potato scone parts of a Sunday brunch full fried.

Experienced T1s who've been doing that sort of stuff for decades say yes, then the lchf, keto, paleo crew say no.

If lchf etc. works for a person, that is absolutely fine, good on them. I wish them well.

But it doesn't seem to work both ways. When people disagree with lchf insistence on Bernstein, law of small numbers etc. etc. the answer isn't normally a rational discussion: there's been accusations chucked around that the posters who like their bacon on toast are irresponsible, reckless, bound to be on a rollercoaster for ever, daft, abusive, bullying.

It's extraordinary that some people think that having a different view is bullying, but that's maybe just a reflection of today's snowflake culture where everyone is encouraged to be a victim instead of dealing with it.

Meanwhile, the T1 who innocently asked about whether the carb elements of the brunch is ok, has now possibly been incorrectly sent down the road of thinking that carbs and insulin are bad things. He might turn up on the eating disorders forum at some point.

Lchf etc. are fine if you know what you're talking about, but for newbies, the messages being sent out make it seem like a cult.
 
I've been around for over four years now, a newbie without a clue and ignorant of all the reasons why i was so ill!
The forum and in particular a few members steered me through my battle to healthy again. For that and gaining the knowledge from this place, I am eternally grateful.
This is only one reason why I'm not going anywhere, though my life has changed so much since then and a really busy working life and family health issues, I pop back in when time permits.
I also persuaded the powers that be to start our own forum for Hypoglycaemia.
I can't believe that! Me and @Brunneria (now a mod!) Went through the agonising process to try and be friendly and helpful to those that were as unaware of what and why hypoglycaemia can be controlled. By using dietary advice that should be treated with as much thought for what the posters has gone through just to get to the forum.
I cannot abandon the sub forum can I?
I have often thought that it has become too much for me and I have been in two minds in carrying on. So many of these whose knowledge and kindness are leaving because of protocol to how to answer posts.
These experienced posters are responsible, kind diabetics, without whom, this forum would be a really sorry and poor place.
These friends have encouraged and helped so many newbies. How can this be?
@Administrator, I implore you to stop this ridiculous situation.
@zand is the last straw.
@zand has gone through so much and needs the support that she has shared through her long battle with her metabolism.


I'm now going to really think about my situation and I will only post to answer questions about Hypoglycaemia that is not related to T1.

I have a different set of knowledge that is linked to all forms of metabolic conditions including T1, my wife has T2, a family history of diabetes.
I have knowledge of drugs and their side effects because of my experience over the last twenty years.
I have an endocrinologist who specialised in gestational diabetes and metabolic conditions that are rare. I use email to discuss my health and ideas he has or if I want to try different ways of controlling my condition.

I hope in some way, I have been a good member of this forum.

I apologise if I have not been so helpful as I have been in the past or the future.
I'm now going to log out, a thing that I have never done before.
I hope this gets sorted soon.

In my view, it has been since we lost some valuable posters who became mods, then couldn't really contribute to the threads as they use to because the distraction of being a moderator, changed their logging in time.

We need mods, we need rules, but we need our valued knowledgeable long time members more!
 
Evolution.
When I joined I wondered why in old posts id searched the members with good advice had stopped posting.

I think it can be exhausting helping fellow diabetics and shouldnt be to your own healths detriment.
I think the forum has become very very serious. Too heavy to carry at times and definitely not full-time.

I feel I've picked the bones of it and cannot keep repeating myself individually without sounding like a bore.
I think I needed to tell my health story and appreciate the diabetic soldiers strong arms to keep me off the floor. We interlock when a crisis arises. E.g A newee is severely distressed.
I love every contribution and I know some of my observations have been passed on. I couldnt hope for more.
Huge knowledge and invaluable experience is getting passed on. For sure.
 


Moderator deletion of content in breach of forum rule , C10


I will not leave in times of badtimes. That is when im needed most, surely?
I just think the seriousness of our disease can be very heavy and alot of responsibility in keeping a newee these days right. Diabetes is a mind field and even consultants get it wrong. We are bound to make mistakes too when wording our advice. Especially if a naughty 4yr old is hanging off me and needing my attention more, sometimes.
 
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Moderator edit to remove previously deleted content.

Moderators try to lead by example. I can only speak for myself when I say that I've written posts that never got sent because upon re-reading, they were innapropriate. This is something that didn't worry me so much before my moderator days, although I don't think l was ever being blatantly rude to anyone. As the moderator role has a fixed tenure, I will return to being my normal terse self in the not too distant future.
 
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Hi. I don't post on the forum very much now, I pop in now and again, but lots of changes on here, goodbye's posted, then member's not going. I personally wouldn't put a public goodbye on the forum, but that's me, as I would rather pm friend's with my reason's and say my goodbye's that way.
I have been managing diabetes for 28 years, no internet then in 1989, I just got on with it and I didn't know anyone with type 1 at that time ( only my uncle years ago in the 1970's, but nobody talked about it and I never saw him inject around the family and I wasn't told anything).
I feel my mojo for the forum has dipped over the last year or so.
 
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