Change Required!!

[EmilyT]

Hello,
I’m newly diagnosed, on the phone, and haven’t yet had the chat with my nurse about foods and diet going forwards.
I also have an eating disorder, where I overeat and purging does not happen!! It all stays in. In recent months I have been particularly stressed and struggling, and have been eating between 16,000 and 20,000 calories each day - and none of that has been actual food, it’s all been chocolate apart from some white bread each morning.
It’s no surprise, therefore that I have been diagnosed with diabetes. I am also unwell in all sorts of other ways, having gained over 10 stone quite quickly (the first few stones went on at exactly one stone each week).
Obviously, I know such a ridiculous diet must be devastating for my body - but what I would like is for someone who knows what they’re talking about to make it clear to me exactly why, and in what ways, this would be adversely affecting by body, bearing in mind that I am now diabetic. I also struggle to walk now and have only one kidney (which is, apparently, not happy...)
I need this kind of reality check to help me move forward, away from this miserable, punishing and destructive cycle, and into some safer, kinder habits.
Don’t hold back - don’t mince your words - and thank you!

 

[DCUKMod]

Hello,
I’m newly diagnosed, on the phone, and haven’t yet had the chat with my nurse about foods and diet going forwards.
I also have an eating disorder, where I overeat and purging does not happen!! It all stays in. In recent months I have been particularly stressed and struggling, and have been eating between 16,000 and 20,000 calories each day - and none of that has been actual food, it’s all been chocolate apart from some white bread each morning.
It’s no surprise, therefore that I have been diagnosed with diabetes. I am also unwell in all sorts of other ways, having gained over 10 stone quite quickly (the first few stones went on at exactly one stone each week).
Obviously, I know such a ridiculous diet must be devastating for my body - but what I would like is for someone who knows what they’re talking about to make it clear to me exactly why, and in what ways, this would be adversely affecting by body, bearing in mind that I am now diabetic. I also struggle to walk now and have only one kidney (which is, apparently, not happy...)
I need this kind of reality check to help me move forward, away from this miserable, punishing and destructive cycle, and into some safer, kinder habits.
Don’t hold back - don’t mince your words - and thank you!

Emily - Are you receiving any help with your eating disorder, to try to get things to a better place?

Ignoring what you are eating at the moment, do you like food; by that I'm really referring to meat, veg, fruit and so on? Do you feel you are addicted to the foods you are binging on?

And finally, are you living with any other health conditions?

I apologise for all the questions, but I'll trying to understand your situation a little better.

 

[Ronancastled]

You are ****** mad, 10,000 calories a day, 1st a week, you're an absolute nutter.
Now back to reality, you have caused this so you can fix this & I reckon quite easily.
First get help with your eating disorder then tackle those carbs.
You can still eat food but avoid the foods that spike your sugar.

My money is on you being quite non diabetic this time next year

 

[EmilyT]

Emily - Are you receiving any help with your eating disorder, to try to get things to a better place?

Ignoring what you are eating at the moment, do you like food; by that I'm really referring to meat, veg, fruit and so on? Do you feel you are addicted to the foods you are binging on?

And finally, are you living with any other health conditions?

I apologise for all the questions, but I'll trying to understand your situation a little better.

Hi,
Thanks for replying. I have had lots of help over recent years with mental health issues, of which my unhealthy eating is a part - but am not getting any specific help with the binge eating, which this time got out of hand during lockdown. When I am by not binge-eating chocolate, I do enjoy the tastes of normal food - but once my chocolate-eating is out of control, I can’t stomach the thought of “normal” (nutritious) food, but am aware of the clock, so be when a mealtime approaches, I will have something that seems a bit more substantial (3 or 4 Double Deckers, for example), think of that as my “dinner” and then settle back to bars or boxes of chocolates again. Definitely, definitely feels like addiction. I am a recovering alcoholic, and I am using chocolate now in exactly the way I used to use alcohol.
And yes - currently medicated for major depressive disorder, hypothyroidism, high blood pressure, Vitamin B12 deficiency, and no fewer than 6 autoimmune conditions(!) I have arthritis in my spine and in both knees, and have had a severe bout of acute pancreatitis in the past.
I think that’s me answered them all!!

 

[EmilyT]

You are ****** mad, 10,000 calories a day, 1st a week, you're an absolute nutter.
Now back to reality, you have caused this so you can fix this & I reckon quite easily.
First get help with your eating disorder then tackle those carbs.
You can still eat food but avoid the foods that spike your sugar.

My money is on you being quite non diabetic this time next year

I am ****** mad!! I seem to be pushing and pushing waiting for someone or something to say “No! Enough! Stop!” I’m hoping that this being diagnosed as diabetic will be that shout. That’s why I wanted to write down in black and white what I’m doing, for people to see it. It doesn’t shock me any more, but it IS shocking, and I’m the one that needs to be shocked, or I won’t change....

 

[EmilyT]

I am ****** mad!! I seem to be pushing and pushing waiting for someone or something to say “No! Enough! Stop!” I’m hoping that this being diagnosed as diabetic will be that shout. That’s why I wanted to write down in black and white what I’m doing, for people to see it. It doesn’t shock me any more, but it IS shocking, and I’m the one that needs to be shocked, or I won’t change....

PS. Thank you! I love that - that I did this and I can sort this - and quite straightforwardly, you think. I’ll def take your confidence in this time next year being different!

 

[Ronancastled]

In your case diabetes is only a result of a pure ultra carb diet.
Your body has gone mad producing insulin for years to cover the amount of sugar in your blood & now it's at the point of giving up . . . but it doesn't have to give up.
You now have the power to give your pancreas a rest, let it recover & break the cycle.

You are at the 11th hour & the choice you make will be critical to your future health.
It's your body, it's your call.

 

[EmilyT]

In your case diabetes is only a result of a pure ultra carb diet.
Your body has gone mad producing insulin for years to cover the amount of sugar in your blood & now it's at the point of giving up . . . but it doesn't have to give up.
You now have the power to give your pancreas a rest, let it recover & break the cycle.

You are at the 11th hour & the choice you make will be critical to your future health.
It's your body, it's your call.

Well put. Thank you.
Funny, I (periodically) worried about my heart, my back, my legs, my blood pressure – but it never occurred to me to worry about my pancreas (and I’ve had bad pancreatitis in the past, too). Wake-up time...

 

[MrsA2]

I used to think my chocolate binges were caused by my head/mind in some way. Once I started low carb and my body started working correctly for the first time in years, those mad cravings have totally gone, vanished, not a problem, easy.

OK there may be some difficult days early on as your body gets a shock from being deprived of its carbs but when you get through that stage then weight loss and eating control are so easy. I found it helped in the cold turkey phase to imagine bad chocolate was labelled with a big skull and crossbones poisonous symbol. They are dangerous/ lethal for diabetics.
The other good news is that a little very dark chocolate is allowed and can be enough to beat the cravings
You'll get lots of support from here

 

[EmilyT]

I used to think my chocolate binges were caused by my head/mind in some way. Once I started low carb and my body started working correctly for the first time in years, those mad cravings have totally gone, vanished, not a problem, easy.

OK there may be some difficult days early on as your body gets a shock from being deprived of its carbs but when you get through that stage then weight loss and eating control are so easy. I found it helped in the cold turkey phase to imagine bad chocolate was labelled with a big skull and crossbones poisonous symbol. They are dangerous/ lethal for diabetics.
The other good news is that a little very dark chocolate is allowed and can be enough to beat the cravings
You'll get lots of support from here

Thank you. I will tell myself that, and try to “see” it, when I’m tempted (as I’m no sure I will be...miracles take a little longer, lol!)

Thank you. I will tell myself that, and try to “see” it, when I’m tempted (as I’m no sure I will be...miracles take a little longer, lol!)

 

[JoKalsbeek]

Hello,
I’m newly diagnosed, on the phone, and haven’t yet had the chat with my nurse about foods and diet going forwards.
I also have an eating disorder, where I overeat and purging does not happen!! It all stays in. In recent months I have been particularly stressed and struggling, and have been eating between 16,000 and 20,000 calories each day - and none of that has been actual food, it’s all been chocolate apart from some white bread each morning.
It’s no surprise, therefore that I have been diagnosed with diabetes. I am also unwell in all sorts of other ways, having gained over 10 stone quite quickly (the first few stones went on at exactly one stone each week).
Obviously, I know such a ridiculous diet must be devastating for my body - but what I would like is for someone who knows what they’re talking about to make it clear to me exactly why, and in what ways, this would be adversely affecting by body, bearing in mind that I am now diabetic. I also struggle to walk now and have only one kidney (which is, apparently, not happy...)
I need this kind of reality check to help me move forward, away from this miserable, punishing and destructive cycle, and into some safer, kinder habits.
Don’t hold back - don’t mince your words - and thank you!

Hello @EmilyT ,

I'm sorry things have gotten this bad.... I am glad though that you're here, as it means that at least part of you is ready to try something different. There's a couple of things you need to know, and please be aware I'm talking as a clinically depressed introverted borderliner with an addictive personality and a bunch of auto-immune conditions. So I do, up to a point, know where you're coming from, okay?

Right, that said: Carbs are by their very nature, addictive. Especially sugar triggers the same areas in the brain as hard drugs do. So it's not surprising that they are "easy" to binge on and crave. That's just what they trigger, and in someone who's predispositioned to addictive behaviour, well... We're basically *****. For me, when something like this happens, cold turkey's the only way to go, because I can't gradually taper something off. I don't know if that's your experience too though, so you'll have to see what works specifically for you.

Carbs are also inflammatory. They tend to make auto-immune conditions worse. Anything from irritable bowel to rheumatism, hashimoto's etc can be affected by the amount of carbs you eat. Even migraines.

And what else carbs do? I know, chocolate and endorphines go hand in hand, which is why I eat 99% Lindt these days. It makes me feel better, without the sugar load. But carbs, and then I mean the sugar in your chocolates, pretty much ruin the temporary effect of the chocolate-high. Because high blood sugars? They influence our emotions. Depression gets a lot worse, anxiety and panic attacks too.

And another ting: Carbs retain water. So while due to not being able to process carbs, glucose gets stored in fat cells, you're also holding on to massive amounts of water as well. Cut the carbs, shed the glucose storage and excess water. Lose weight, relieve your aching back!

So that said, cutting carbs is likely to help you in a LOT of area's.... Meaning your life can be better than it is right now.

It can be better.
Really.
Hugs,
Jo
PS: https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/blog-entry/the-nutritional-thingy.2330/ might help some.

 

[JoKalsbeek]

PS: You say you need to be shocked. Maybe what you really need is a little bit of hope?

 

[Flora123]

Hello,
I’m newly diagnosed, on the phone, and haven’t yet had the chat with my nurse about foods and diet going forwards.
I also have an eating disorder, where I overeat and purging does not happen!! It all stays in. In recent months I have been particularly stressed and struggling, and have been eating between 16,000 and 20,000 calories each day - and none of that has been actual food, it’s all been chocolate apart from some white bread each morning.
It’s no surprise, therefore that I have been diagnosed with diabetes. I am also unwell in all sorts of other ways, having gained over 10 stone quite quickly (the first few stones went on at exactly one stone each week).
Obviously, I know such a ridiculous diet must be devastating for my body - but what I would like is for someone who knows what they’re talking about to make it clear to me exactly why, and in what ways, this would be adversely affecting by body, bearing in mind that I am now diabetic. I also struggle to walk now and have only one kidney (which is, apparently, not happy...)
I need this kind of reality check to help me move forward, away from this miserable, punishing and destructive cycle, and into some safer, kinder habits.
Don’t hold back - don’t mince your words - and thank you!

Hi Emily, and welcome. You have come to the right place.

You certainly have an addiction and perhaps a slight self destruct streak?

Do you live on your own? If not ask for help and get them on board with your new way of eating (WOE). That will make it easier if you have someone constantly reminding you. Ask them to not have food types around you that could trigger your addiction.

If you live on your own that may be harder in some ways, but easier in others as you have total control as to what is in the house. Unwrap everything that is chocolate or refined carbs and not real food and BIN it. Put bleach or something nasty over it so you can’t be tempted to go back and retrieve it.

If you shop online it can be easier as there is less temptation to put naughty things in your basket. Within 2-3 weeks you will notice a huge difference in your cravings. If you are struggling, then have a sugar free jelly and double cream or some nuts. If you feel chocolate is a treat, then try treating yourself to something else at the end of the week - a new book or a coffee with a friend etc.

You can also go for walks (if you are able) or get outside for fresh air which can help, but you need to get this addiction under control. Ask friends for help perhaps. Just to nag you? A sugar free mint, although carby, can help or brushing your teeth when you are hungry. Drink lots of water too.

You will find by drastically lowering your carb intake and eating REAL food, you will lose weight without the need to count calories as you will be full. Your other health issues will undoubtedly improve too.

The fact you have come here and asked for advice is really good. You can do this! Best of luck.

 

[EmilyT]

Hello @EmilyT ,

I'm sorry things have gotten this bad.... I am glad though that you're here, as it means that at least part of you is ready to try something different. There's a couple of things you need to know, and please be aware I'm talking as a clinically depressed introverted borderliner with an addictive personality and a bunch of auto-immune conditions. So I do, up to a point, know where you're coming from, okay?

Right, that said: Carbs are by their very nature, addictive. Especially sugar triggers the same areas in the brain as hard drugs do. So it's not surprising that they are "easy" to binge on and crave. That's just what they trigger, and in someone who's predispositioned to addictive behaviour, well... We're basically *****. For me, when something like this happens, cold turkey's the only way to go, because I can't gradually taper something off. I don't know if that's your experience too though, so you'll have to see what works specifically for you.

Carbs are also inflammatory. They tend to make auto-immune conditions worse. Anything from irritable bowel to rheumatism, hashimoto's etc can be affected by the amount of carbs you eat. Even migraines.

And what else carbs do? I know, chocolate and endorphines go hand in hand, which is why I eat 99% Lindt these days. It makes me feel better, without the sugar load. But carbs, and then I mean the sugar in your chocolates, pretty much ruin the temporary effect of the chocolate-high. Because high blood sugars? They influence our emotions. Depression gets a lot worse, anxiety and panic attacks too.

And another ting: Carbs retain water. So while due to not being able to process carbs, glucose gets stored in fat cells, you're also holding on to massive amounts of water as well. Cut the carbs, shed the glucose storage and excess water. Lose weight, relieve your aching back!

So that said, cutting carbs is likely to help you in a LOT of area's.... Meaning your life can be better than it is right now.

It can be better.
Really.
Hugs,
Jo
PS: https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/blog-entry/the-nutritional-thingy.2330/ might help some.

Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Just that, is enough to make me listen, and go, “Oh, okay – no carbs then!”
No-one has ever said to me that carbs per se are inflammatory; nor that they cause water retention. In fact, having lived with the Slimming World eating plan for several years (just before this latest “episode” I had lost 10 stones in weight with it) I’m not used to the concept of lumping all carbs together like this at all, and have tended to think in terms of good, or ok, carbs and bad, or dangerous, carbs; thinking that it’s the refined sugar, or indeed the sugar/fat combo in chocolate that’s the worst thing. So I tend not to hold “chocolate” and “potatoes” (say) in the same group, even, in my head, but your words are prompting me to think again... Interesting...
Again - many thanks. xx

 

[TashT1]

Hi Emily & welcome you certainly have a big challenge ahead.

You mention previously being an alcoholic. Perhaps you can utilise some of the techniques and support that helped you over come your alcohol addiction.

Am I right in thinking that you are eating nothing but chocolate? No real food? I’d imagine suddenly switching back to real food could be quite a shock to your body. Have you tried going cold turkey before? How did that feel?

 

[EmilyT]

Hi Emily & welcome you certainly have a big challenge ahead.

You mention previously being an alcoholic. Perhaps you can utilise some of the techniques and support that helped you over come your alcohol addiction.

Am I right in thinking that you are eating nothing but chocolate? No real food? I’d imagine suddenly switching back to real food could be quite a shock to your body. Have you tried going cold turkey before? How did that feel?

Hello,
Yes, when I’m throwing caution to the winds and eating as much chocolate as I’d like (which means never a moment when there isn’t chocolate in my mouth - like chain-smoking, I guess...) then I automatically seem to go off all thoughts of normal food. I used to force myself to eat some kind of meal when this happened, but these days I’ve given up, and just do wall-to-wall chocolate instead. You get so that that is the only thing you can tolerate.
And yes, “cold turkey” seems the only way to do it, for me. If I keep giving myself tastes of chocolate, I’ll never stop. I have lost weight successfully several times throughout my life (5st, 7st, 8st, 10st....) and once (the 8st loss) I kept it off for 3 years. That’s the longest I’ve ever maintained a weight loss.
And I haven’t always eaten as I do now. I’ve always reached for chocolate in times of stress, ever since I was a child, but it’s only in the past couple of years that it’s become so completely lacking in any kind of boundary. I suppose that coincides with when I began living alone, after a lifetime of being wife & mother...

 

[DCUKMod]

Emily - I don't know how things are for you right now, but have you had any "better" episodes in recent times, or are the behaviours still repetitive every day?

That's not posted judgementally. I totally get how gripping an eating disorder can be, although my own was anorexia so I was denying myself food, rather than overdoing it, but I think some of those thought processes are very similar, albeit with different actions attaching to them.

 

[EmilyT]

Emily - I don't know how things are for you right now, but have you had any "better" episodes in recent times, or are the behaviours still repetitive every day?

That's not posted judgementally. I totally get how gripping an eating disorder can be, although my own was anorexia so I was denying myself food, rather than overdoing it, but I think some of those thought processes are very similar, albeit with different actions attaching to them.

Definitely. For me, the moment of eating chocolate is the only time I feel safe, and that everything will be ok (bizarrely! ) whereas for others I think perhaps the moment of choosing not to eat would bring about similar feelings.
And yes - it’s not nearly as bad as that at the moment, because I’m posting here, and have just got this diagnosis, etc etc. So definitely toned down.
But - full disclosure - I got up yesterday with these conversations on here in my head, and a determination to do my best to avoid carbs. Popped out for a weekend paper, and came back with a loaf of white bread, a pack of Lurpak butter, a box of Milk Tray, a box of Celebrations, a box of Roses, 2 big bars of Cadbury’s Caramel, 2 big bars of Cadbury’s white chocolate Oreo, 4 iced double biscuits, 2 bars of tablet and, for my tea, a packet of Kraft Cheesy Pasta & bag of Doritos.
Definitely wasn’t intending to type that!!!

 

[JoKalsbeek]

Definitely. For me, the moment of eating chocolate is the only time I feel safe, and that everything will be ok (bizarrely! ) whereas for others I think perhaps the moment of choosing not to eat would bring about similar feelings.
And yes - it’s not nearly as bad as that at the moment, because I’m posting here, and have just got this diagnosis, etc etc. So definitely toned down.
But - full disclosure - I got up yesterday with these conversations on here in my head, and a determination to do my best to avoid carbs. Popped out for a weekend paper, and came back with a loaf of white bread, a pack of Lurpak butter, a box of Milk Tray, a box of Celebrations, a box of Roses, 2 big bars of Cadbury’s Caramel, 2 big bars of Cadbury’s white chocolate Oreo, 4 iced double biscuits, 2 bars of tablet and, for my tea, a packet of Kraft Cheesy Pasta & bag of Doritos.
Definitely wasn’t intending to type that!!!

You just got diagnosed. Part of that is grief. And one of the stages of grief? Denial. Which can translate in buying exactly the opposite of what you need.

Give yourself a moment to come to grips with this whole thing. Keep reading, keep learning, and make changes when you feel you can.

 

[DCUKMod]

Definitely. For me, the moment of eating chocolate is the only time I feel safe, and that everything will be ok (bizarrely! ) whereas for others I think perhaps the moment of choosing not to eat would bring about similar feelings.
And yes - it’s not nearly as bad as that at the moment, because I’m posting here, and have just got this diagnosis, etc etc. So definitely toned down.
But - full disclosure - I got up yesterday with these conversations on here in my head, and a determination to do my best to avoid carbs. Popped out for a weekend paper, and came back with a loaf of white bread, a pack of Lurpak butter, a box of Milk Tray, a box of Celebrations, a box of Roses, 2 big bars of Cadbury’s Caramel, 2 big bars of Cadbury’s white chocolate Oreo, 4 iced double biscuits, 2 bars of tablet and, for my tea, a packet of Kraft Cheesy Pasta & bag of Doritos.
Definitely wasn’t intending to type that!!!

Did you eat them all?