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Christmas Cracker Jokes

eddie1968

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,661
Location
Dumbarton, Scotland
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Insulin
Dislikes
Pasta, sorry to me it's vile, yeuch lol (and full of nasty carbs)
Now the festive season is upon us it's time for the annual cracker joke fiesta lmao.

Here goes:
Hear about the Irish murderer ?
He dragged his wife off a cliff.
Lol

Your contributions are appreciated....
 
How did Scrooge win the football game?

The ghost of Christmas passed!
 
Santa went to the Doctors with a problem. Doctor: What seems to be the problem? Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom! Doctor: Well you're in luck because I've got just the brandy cream for that!
 
Clivethedrive said:
Santa went to the Doctors with a problem. Doctor: What seems to be the problem? Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom! Doctor: Well you're in luck because I've got just the brandy cream for that!
Click to expand...

Mr Clive, really but it did make me laugh so funny
 
Chocolate - On Parade

First soldier: 'Pass me the chocolate pudding, would you?'
Second soldier: 'Certainly not.'

First soldier: 'Why not?'
Second soldier: 'Because it's against regulations to help another soldier to dessert.'
 
German sausage jokes - they're the wurst!
 
News just in....a bell ringer from west sussex forgot to let go of the rope ...and caught his dingdong merrily on high
 
Hear about the Irish Newspaper Shop ?
It blew away!
Lol
 
Doctor on Psychiatric Unit assessing patient, "What are you doing?"
Patient "Driving my Ferrari !"
Doctor" You haven't got a car here."
Patient in next bed "Shut up I get £20 a week for cleaning it !"
Lol
 
What do you call a line of men waiting for a haircut?

A barberqueue
 
What do Mexican's have under the carpet?
Underlay.
Lol
(Ariba Ariba lol Speedy Gonzales)
 
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