Comfort eating

[Beelady]

I have been looking after my husband of 37 years of marriage, for 3 years since he was diagnosed with Alzheimers. My GP put me onto a mild antidepressant for what he called 'Carer's Stress'. My fasting blood sugars became mid teens on most days. Unfortunately he died suddenly during the night of 6th December. It was a traumatic event for me because I had to be talked through performing CPR under the direction of the Ambulance control unit. Unfortunately it was not successful and neither my efforts, nor those of the ambulance crew could save him. I am utterly devastated, not sleeping in spite of having sleeping tablets and comfort eating all evening until I go to bed. I used to be very careful keeping to a low carb regime but now I just eat anything. Last night I had four croissants before bed. That's as well as dollops of Nutella just because it tasted nice. I was diagnosed a month ago with Pulmonary Fibrosis and I'm finding it difficult to walk to town and back (2km) and had to sit on garden walls to catch my breath and stop the dizzy spells.
I have heard that CBD oil can help to control blood sugar and also induce sleep. Has anybody had any experience with it?

 

[Deleted member 567885]

I have been looking after my husband of 37 years of marriage, for 3 years since he was diagnosed with Alzheimers. My GP put me onto a mild antidepressant for what he called 'Carer's Stress'. My fasting blood sugars became mid teens on most days. Unfortunately he died suddenly during the night of 6th December. It was a traumatic event for me because I had to be talked through performing CPR under the direction of the Ambulance control unit. Unfortunately it was not successful and neither my efforts, nor those of the ambulance crew could save him. I am utterly devastated, not sleeping in spite of having sleeping tablets and comfort eating all evening until I go to bed. I used to be very careful keeping to a low carb regime but now I just eat anything. Last night I had four croissants before bed. That's as well as dollops of Nutella just because it tasted nice. I was diagnosed a month ago with Pulmonary Fibrosis and I'm finding it difficult to walk to town and back (2km) and had to sit on garden walls to catch my breath and stop the dizzy spells.
I have heard that CBD oil can help to control blood sugar and also induce sleep. Has anybody had any experience with it?

I am so sorry to hear of what happened to you so recently. You must feel really upset not only about the death of your husband whom you could not revive but because your days no longer have the routine of caring for your husband with whom you shared your life for 37 years.

The fact you are asking for help with the comfort eating is a sign you know this sin't helping your feelings much. It sounds almost as if having done low carb you're punishing your body or your self in some way? I don't know but that was my reaction to your words.

I can't advise on the PF and CBD oil but if you can find some way of being kind to yourself that is really important right now. Perhaps you can get a treatment of some kind with a massge therapist or just some talking time with a therapist. I know that isn't easy to organise but please take some time to take stock of what you have gone through before you try and blot out your feelings with Nutella (a bit like alcohol it will distract you but the next morning you'll feel the toxicity of sugar and veg oils).
Big hugs and I hope others can offer more relevant advice on commercial CBD oils

 

[Lainie71]

I am so sorry to hear of what happened to you so recently. You must feel really upset not only about the death of your husband whom you could not revive but because your days no longer have the routine of caring for your husband with whom you shared your life for 37 years.

The fact you are asking for help with the comfort eating is a sign you know this sin't helping your feelings much. It sounds almost as if having done low carb you're punishing your body or your self in some way? I don't know but that was my reaction to your words.

I can't advise on the PF and CBD oil but if you can find some way of being kind to yourself that is really important right now. Perhaps you can get a treatment of some kind with a massge therapist or just some talking time with a therapist. I know that isn't easy to organise but please take some time to take stock of what you have gone through before you try and blot out your feelings with Nutella (a bit like alcohol it will distract you but the next morning you'll feel the toxicity of sugar and veg oils).
Big hugs and I hope others can offer more relevant advice on commercial CBD oils

So sorry to hear of your loss it will be devastating. Just a thought but have you contacted a bereavement counsellor at all, your GP may be able to help. Cruse are quite good from what I can remember it may help xx

 

[JoKalsbeek]

I have been looking after my husband of 37 years of marriage, for 3 years since he was diagnosed with Alzheimers. My GP put me onto a mild antidepressant for what he called 'Carer's Stress'. My fasting blood sugars became mid teens on most days. Unfortunately he died suddenly during the night of 6th December. It was a traumatic event for me because I had to be talked through performing CPR under the direction of the Ambulance control unit. Unfortunately it was not successful and neither my efforts, nor those of the ambulance crew could save him. I am utterly devastated, not sleeping in spite of having sleeping tablets and comfort eating all evening until I go to bed. I used to be very careful keeping to a low carb regime but now I just eat anything. Last night I had four croissants before bed. That's as well as dollops of Nutella just because it tasted nice. I was diagnosed a month ago with Pulmonary Fibrosis and I'm finding it difficult to walk to town and back (2km) and had to sit on garden walls to catch my breath and stop the dizzy spells.
I have heard that CBD oil can help to control blood sugar and also induce sleep. Has anybody had any experience with it?

I'm so sorry for everything you went through. As others have mentioned, it's not "just" the loss of your partner, but also the routine you had, the reason to get up in the morning and do your thing, and taking care of yourself. So, first thing's first... Don't kick yourself around about the croissants. Nor the nutella. If it was what you needed right then, you know what... Whatever! I hope it scratched the itch and tasted great. The comfort eating is a result of everything you've been through, so you do get a free pass.

Now, grief.... It takes time. After about a year you'll feel a little more like functioning as before again, after 3 years or thereabouts, your life'll be whatever the new normal is, so.... Give yourself time. To grieve, to adjust. Maybe to indeed get a little help in terms of talking therapy, maybe join a group where people get together for this or that a day or so in the week, just so you can reconnect with people some. (Being a carer is often a lonely task, after all, and often, social life suffers). Not per se a grief group, maybe just something like, I don't know.... Red Hat Ladies? Do things that used to make you happy, if you can. If you find a little comfort in, I don't know, feeding ducks in a park or something, you're giving them the bread, not having it yourself. After a while you'll find you'll smile in spite of yourself. (I remember being startled by the sound of my own laughter a little over a year in, I hadn't heard it since my Doug passed, when I was 18). Anyway.... Talk. To anyone you feel comfortable with; a shrink, a friend, a stranger. If you can, and want to, of course. Maybe have a spot of tea at a nice place, just... Do kind things for yourself. It might not feel like it at first, but it'll help eventually.

CBD can help with sleep, but it can leave you a bit groggy in the daytime, and it might clash with the antidepressant, so careful with that. (Mom mixed CBD with her amytriptiline and her heart went nuts). As for the PF, you might want to talk to an occupational therapist. See how you can still do the things you want to do. Because you know what? It's OKAY to sit down during a walk. When my husband got Long Covid, he could walk 400 meters, and then had to rest for half an hour. Then 400 meters back home, and rest the remainder of the day. Everyone starts somewhere. Figure out what you can do, what you want to do, and how that can be achieved. Where are the benches, where are coffee shops, places where you can take a moment and regain your breath and energy before continuing on. Would a bicycle help, maybe one with a little battery assistance? Look at what could make your life work for you, again. Might not be easy, but you need to take care of you now, in whatever way, shape or form that may be. And hey, if you want comfort food... Pork scratchings, hard cheeses, bacon, olives, they won't raise blood sugars and are nicely decadent. Maybe throw in some Lindt 85% or higher for the chocolate kick.

You'll get through this. It'll take time, but you will.
Hugs,
Jo

 

[AndBreathe]

I have been looking after my husband of 37 years of marriage, for 3 years since he was diagnosed with Alzheimers. My GP put me onto a mild antidepressant for what he called 'Carer's Stress'. My fasting blood sugars became mid teens on most days. Unfortunately he died suddenly during the night of 6th December. It was a traumatic event for me because I had to be talked through performing CPR under the direction of the Ambulance control unit. Unfortunately it was not successful and neither my efforts, nor those of the ambulance crew could save him. I am utterly devastated, not sleeping in spite of having sleeping tablets and comfort eating all evening until I go to bed. I used to be very careful keeping to a low carb regime but now I just eat anything. Last night I had four croissants before bed. That's as well as dollops of Nutella just because it tasted nice. I was diagnosed a month ago with Pulmonary Fibrosis and I'm finding it difficult to walk to town and back (2km) and had to sit on garden walls to catch my breath and stop the dizzy spells.
I have heard that CBD oil can help to control blood sugar and also induce sleep. Has anybody had any experience with it?

Oh @Beelady you've had such a difficult time, and all so incredibly recent.

We all cope with trauma and loss is different ways, and I can't imagine how I would manage to put one foot in front of the other after your ordeal. I do hope that over time you can come to accept that it was his time, and that his time with Alzheimers has come to an end. Hopefully, you'll settle into happier memories of the person you were clearly very devoted to.

In terms of your Pulmonary Fibrosis; is there any understanding of what caused this in you, or is it being categorised as idiopathic?

PF isn't an easy condition to live with, but there are treatments out there that can help your quality of life, and for certain types aim to prevent progress or slow it at least.

Maybe it's time to ask for a bit of help with life in general. Maybe someone to talk to about your grief and your new diagnosis. Family can be great, but sometimes talking with a stranger can be easier and allow you to say things you might not want to express to your loved ones.

I really do wish you well.

 

[Beelady]

Oh @Beelady you've had such a difficult time, and all so incredibly recent.

We all cope with trauma and loss is different ways, and I can't imagine how I would manage to put one foot in front of the other after your ordeal. I do hope that over time you can come to accept that it was his time, and that his time with Alzheimers has come to an end. Hopefully, you'll settle into happier memories of the person you were clearly very devoted to.

In terms of your Pulmonary Fibrosis; is there any understanding of what caused this in you, or is it being categorised as idiopathic?

PF isn't an easy condition to live with, but there are treatments out there that can help your quality of life, and for certain types aim to prevent progress or slow it at least.

Maybe it's time to ask for a bit of help with life in general. Maybe someone to talk to about your grief and your new diagnosis. Family can be great, but sometimes talking with a stranger can be easier and allow you to say things you might not want to express to your loved ones.

I really do wish you well.

Thank you for your response AndBreathe. I am only at the very beginning of the PF route but I am sure that the it is the result of thowing asbestos fibre at each other as kids and we had to walk to school round the Cape Asbestos factory in Hebden Bridge. (Google 'Acre Mill' and it comments on the children in the school yard playing with the asbestos). I am being referred for liver scans because the medication may affect my liver.

 

[Beelady]

It's very unfortunate that this all happened. The loss of a loved one is a great grief. Do you have close friends and relatives to communicate with? It seems to me that you were left alone with your grief, which is why problems with sleep appeared. Try sharing your feelings with someone. After all, everything that we didn’t say remains inside us and spoils both our well-being and the state of our body as a whole.

Thank you for your reply jadedubo. My son has been a tremendous support dealing with all the necessary paperwork which is thrown at you when you're still reeling from the shock of a sudden death.
I have managed to go to a weekly drop-in coffee shop which is run by the local help for older people group and I'm optimistic that it will be a help in getting used to being with people again. I was shocked that I hadn't spoken to anyone, face to face, for a whole week and I know I need to address that.

 

[TriciaWs]

I am so sorry for your loss.

I also comfort eat, but explored the options on low carb and managed to replace most foods with an acceptable alternative.

I still eat 'too much' chocolate but at least it is 85% now so less sugar than before. I do miss rice pudding as I never liked the alternative recipe I found but I make a fairly low-carb baked egg custard with cream and a little sweetener. And a chocolate mousse made with double cream and 90% chocolate goes a lot longer than a square of chocolate.

 

[Beelady]

I'm so sorry for everything you went through. As others have mentioned, it's not "just" the loss of your partner, but also the routine you had, the reason to get up in the morning and do your thing, and taking care of yourself. So, first thing's first... Don't kick yourself around about the croissants. Nor the nutella. If it was what you needed right then, you know what... Whatever! I hope it scratched the itch and tasted great. The comfort eating is a result of everything you've been through, so you do get a free pass.

Now, grief.... It takes time. After about a year you'll feel a little more like functioning as before again, after 3 years or thereabouts, your life'll be whatever the new normal is, so.... Give yourself time. To grieve, to adjust. Maybe to indeed get a little help in terms of talking therapy, maybe join a group where people get together for this or that a day or so in the week, just so you can reconnect with people some. (Being a carer is often a lonely task, after all, and often, social life suffers). Not per se a grief group, maybe just something like, I don't know.... Red Hat Ladies? Do things that used to make you happy, if you can. If you find a little comfort in, I don't know, feeding ducks in a park or something, you're giving them the bread, not having it yourself. After a while you'll find you'll smile in spite of yourself. (I remember being startled by the sound of my own laughter a little over a year in, I hadn't heard it since my Doug passed, when I was 18). Anyway.... Talk. To anyone you feel comfortable with; a shrink, a friend, a stranger. If you can, and want to, of course. Maybe have a spot of tea at a nice place, just... Do kind things for yourself. It might not feel like it at first, but it'll help eventually.

CBD can help with sleep, but it can leave you a bit groggy in the daytime, and it might clash with the antidepressant, so careful with that. (Mom mixed CBD with her amytriptiline and her heart went nuts). As for the PF, you might want to talk to an occupational therapist. See how you can still do the things you want to do. Because you know what? It's OKAY to sit down during a walk. When my husband got Long Covid, he could walk 400 meters, and then had to rest for half an hour. Then 400 meters back home, and rest the remainder of the day. Everyone starts somewhere. Figure out what you can do, what you want to do, and how that can be achieved. Where are the benches, where are coffee shops, places where you can take a moment and regain your breath and energy before continuing on. Would a bicycle help, maybe one with a little battery assistance? Look at what could make your life work for you, again. Might not be easy, but you need to take care of you now, in whatever way, shape or form that may be. And hey, if you want comfort food... Pork scratchings, hard cheeses, bacon, olives, they won't raise blood sugars and are nicely decadent. Maybe throw in some Lindt 85% or higher for the chocolate kick.

You'll get through this. It'll take time, but you will.
Hugs,
Jo

Thank you so much, Jo, for your comments about CBD. I certainly don't want to be groggy in the daytime - my mind is mushed up enough already with the shock of his sudden death. Those suggestions for snacks are useful.
I've made a plan to go through our photographs, pick out the best ones to put into an album to leave around the house to pick up and remember the happy days.

I am so sorry to hear of what happened to you so recently. You must feel really upset not only about the death of your husband whom you could not revive but because your days no longer have the routine of caring for your husband with whom you shared your life for 37 years.

The fact you are asking for help with the comfort eating is a sign you know this sin't helping your feelings much. It sounds almost as if having done low carb you're punishing your body or your self in some way? I don't know but that was my reaction to your words.

I can't advise on the PF and CBD oil but if you can find some way of being kind to yourself that is really important right now. Perhaps you can get a treatment of some kind with a massge therapist or just some talking time with a therapist. I know that isn't easy to organise but please take some time to take stock of what you have gone through before you try and blot out your feelings with Nutella (a bit like alcohol it will distract you but the next morning you'll feel the toxicity of sugar and veg oils).
Big hugs and I hope others can offer more relevant advice on commercial CBD oils

Thank you for your reply, Nichole. Your comment about the Nutella has registered with me. We used to have a whisky every bedtime and when John died I gave my son all the alcohol because I know that would be a very slippery slope to go down. If it's not there you can't be tempted.
My local Diabetes UK support group are starting a programme specifically aimed at binge eating and I have registered to join that.

 

[AndBreathe]

Thank you for your response AndBreathe. I am only at the very beginning of the PF route but I am sure that the it is the result of thowing asbestos fibre at each other as kids and we had to walk to school round the Cape Asbestos factory in Hebden Bridge. (Google 'Acre Mill' and it comments on the children in the school yard playing with the asbestos). I am being referred for liver scans because the medication may affect my liver.

It’s good to hear you are getting out and about a bit. The company of others can be both a distraction and a comfort.

if you would like any peer support for your lung condition, the Health Unlocked site has some very experienced people, and helpline you might find useful.

My father was diagnosed with PF, but his was linked to his rheumatoid arthritis. Unfortunately, the term PF covers several conditions, so a further diagnosis will be very useful to you.

Hopefully your treatment will deliver good outcomes for you.

 

[Beelady]

It’s good to hear you are getting out and about a bit. The company of others can be both a distraction and a comfort.

if you would like any peer support for your lung condition, the Health Unlocked site has some very experienced people, and helpline you might find useful.

My father was diagnosed with PF, but his was linked to his rheumatoid arthritis. Unfortunately, the term PF covers several conditions, so a further diagnosis will be very useful to you.

Hopefully your treatment will deliver good outcomes for you.

I didn't know there's a PF section on Health Unlocked. I'll take a look. I looked at NHS web site and was very shocked where it says statistice show the prognosis is 3 to 5 years life expectancy after diagnosis. I'm 'only' 75! I must keep positive. After all I'm not just a statistic! Thank you for your input!

 

[AndBreathe]

I didn't know there's a PF section on Health Unlocked. I'll take a look. I looked at NHS web site and was very shocked where it says statistice show the prognosis is 3 to 5 years life expectancy after diagnosis. I'm 'only' 75! I must keep positive. After all I'm not just a statistic! Thank you for your input!

You really do need to ignore the stats. Not everyone with PF has progressive PF, and even those who do, there are those whose progression is very, very slow indeed.

Many of these advice pages are old. Not too many years ago there were no real treatments for PF, whereas now there are, and the advent of Nintedanib and Pirfenidone are game changing.

It is important you stay positive and remain as active as you can, and most importantly, get on with living your life. Please don’t sit around waiting for bad things to happen. It’s much better to be planning for good things.