I apologise in advance, I know I’m whinging but I’ve hit my limit and just need to vent. I am T1, have stage 4 CKD, osteoporosis, gastroparesis, neuropathy, retinopathy and neurogenic bladder because I had severe anorexia and refused to manage my diabetes for years. I’m 36. My gastroparesis is getting substantially worse. I’ve had 4 admissions for it since mid December 18, as the constant vomiting led to DKA and AKI. I’ve lost 12 kg since then. My friend today decided to lay into me saying I’ve caused this, my anorexia was just nutty behaviour, and I just need to eat. Apparently I’m attention seeking and making everything worse by following my diet sheets from the hospital and taking the prescribed medications. Apparently I’m starving myself, it doesn’t matter that I throw up what I can eat, or am now bulimic. When I recover from DKA and a bout of vomiting, I was told that it is suspicious how I get from very ill to better so quickly. I genuinely feel the worst I’ve ever felt physically and emotionally. A lot more was said, and I feel rock bottom. Has anyone else had to fight for understanding and empathy but ended up banging their head against a brick wall? I need a portacath due to be done in a fortnight, and I can’t tell my closest friend that I need support as I’ve just detailed the ‘nice’ part of what they think of me. If they feel that way, I can only imagine what my other friends and family think.