He and his wife are counsellors and psychotherapists...
He also said something else that has stuck with both of us.
"Nothing is real"..... For example...
I see a tree and I see it as a source of wood for my log burner.
My husband sees a tree and it reminds him of nicking apples off it when he was a kid.
Another person will not see the tree, but the squirrels playing in it....
When I see those squirrels.. I see them playing and chasing it each other and having fun.
My husband sees them as vermin.
It was to prove that although the trees, the squirrels are there and are real... Every person will see aspects of the world and our lives differently .... And most importantly be mindful that people do not HEAR the same as we speak either...
Now, I am also more mindful of how I speak to everybody, because they will not see the world from my aspect......especially as I am so obstinate and stubborn.
Believe me, I used to think the same about Counsellors and Counselling as you, especially as I had such an awful one previously in Wales.....
You would not believe the change in my hubby. He can now talk to me about anything and everything, and he has never been able to do that. We also looked at our childhoods.... I was always told I was loved, I was always given hugs and cuddles and a kiss from my parents at bedtime. I was always put on my dads shoulders at bedtime with our budgie on my dads head and tucked into bed. Hubby had nothing.. Never told he loved, never tucked in to bed or kissed goodnight. That's why I need to be told I'm loved... And my husband doesn't.. And he could never say it.....hubby just thought he had love in his home as a child because he wasn't beaten like he was at the catholic school.
This comes from counsellors website..... Xxxxxx is also an adept communicator and relationship builder which he combines with gifted analytical and interpretative skills enabling him to connect with his clients within a healthy Therapeutic Relationship in which their issues can be truly explored and understood. He has the courage and fortitude to work at depth, supporting clients through their issues which offers them the opportunity to be different, to relate to themselves and their world differently and to become more courageous, dynamic, adaptable, accepting and spontaneous in their lives.
Xxxxxx does not profess to anything especially. He just said he was not going to waste our time, and money being nicey nicey and getting nowhere for years. I dare say he treats everybody differently. My friend will be seeing him in the future.
The very best words to me were, "I deserve better"..... Not to necessarily get a better husband(lol!) or get a better lifetime....just for me to be able to speak up, to think better of myself and not let other people have such an impact on me... So when for example my mum always used to ask on the phone about my diabetes, my bum, my legs, my pain etc.... No more... When I phone now... I always start off by saying "hi mum, I'm fine-how are you" ......it lets me feel better about myself,,,,,I don't deserve to be reminded every time I spoke to my mum that I have an illness that is gradually getting complications.... "I deserve better"than being reminded about my illness...
Long story...and a worldwide insight to my mind and my life!!!! I deserve better and so does everybody that has an illness, sorrow,unhappiness etc.......
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