Cracker Jokes

[Clivethedrive]

I know some really .....adult ones but I think it's not the place , next time we're in the pub........

 

[eddie1968]

Ok...

 

[Robinredbreast]

What do the royal family play at Christmas instead of musical chairs?
Game of Thrones.

What did the Snowman say to the aggressive carrot?
“Get out of my face.”

Why is Christmas a busy time for David Cameron?
He’s got two parties to organise.

 

[Robinredbreast]

What will be missing from Take That's Christmas stocking this year?

An Orange

 

[eddie1968]

What do cows have for breakfast?
Mooslie

 

[Robinredbreast]

What do cows have for breakfast?
Mooslie

Doh

 

[izzzi]

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas

A mince spy.

 

[Robinredbreast]

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas

A mince spy.

 

[Robinredbreast]

"Docor,doctor, I think I'm dog"

" Oh dear, come and lie down on the couch"

"I can't doctor, I'm not allowed on the furniture"

 

[eddie1968]

"Docor,doctor, I think I'm dog"

" Oh dear, come and lie down on the couch"

"I can't doctor, I'm not allowed on the furniture"

Now that's a doh

 

[Clivethedrive]

Doctor doctor people keep ignoring me............next please!

 

[Robinredbreast]

Now that's a doh

Shucks thanks, my first doh, lol

 

[eddie1968]

Did you hear about the fight in the Chippy ?
The fish got battered.....
and the chips got assaulted

 

[eddie1968]

What noise does a cat make doing 50 MPH on a motorway ?
"Meooowwwwwww"

 

[eddie1968]

Hear about the Irish shoplifter?
5 slipped discs

 

[eddie1968]

What do you cal a bodybuilder who eats 50 sandwiches a day ?
Sarnie Swarzeneger