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Dating with T1

Discussion in 'Young People/Adults' started by tvnerd, Nov 16, 2017.

  1. tvnerd

    tvnerd Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hello I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes about 4 months ago. I wanted to know if dating is different or harder after your diagnosis? I’m really scared that people will not want to be with me because they may see the management as “too much to deal with” or may be very ignorant about it. I’m really scared to put myself out there. What has your experience been like??
     
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  2. bradley_smasher

    bradley_smasher Type 1 · Member

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    If someone thinks it’s too much to deal with, they aren’t worth your time :)
    There will be someone who won’t even see the condition, just try not to worry about it :)
    You’re very new to diabetes... how are you getting on?
     
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  3. Deanoh

    Deanoh Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hey @tvnerd

    Don't be scared and don't let diabetes change who you are - go out there and if you come across someone you like or feel you could go further with, tell them about your diabetes, if they don't understand it just explain a little, if they then find it "too much to deal with" etc. they are clearly no good.

    At the end of the day it's you managing your diabetes not them, if they don't understand that or think it's too much, tell them to carry on ;)

    I feel that majority of people understand when they know a little more - people often assume things when they don't know about stuff.
     
  4. Deleted Account

    Deleted Account · Guest

    Completely agree with @bradley_smasher and @Deanoh - be yourself just as you did before you had diabetes. If anyone don't feel they can cope with your diabetes, they are not really interested in you and not worth it.

    Personally, I took some time trying to decide when to mention "Oh, by the way, I stick needles in myself". In the end, it varied depending on how I felt about the guy and what I was doing on the date.
    But it was good to have a game plan about when to mention it, how much to explain, what to expect in return, ... and, just like any dating game plans, be prepared to throw it out of the window and go with the flow.
     
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  5. tvnerd

    tvnerd Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Thank you for your advice!

    Well I’m learning!! I have been working really hard to get my numbers down. Recently got my first A1c. It was 13+ when I was diagnosed but I’ve managed to bring it down to 5.5 with an average glucose of 111!!!

    Bought down my lantus from 18 units to 6 and novorapid from 8 to 2 before meals
     
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  6. tvnerd

    tvnerd Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    @Deanoh and @helensaramay Thank you for your advice! I think a lot of my fear comes from the fact that I recently got dumped and my ex had been dating me since before my diagnosis. I think the lifestyle change and schedule may have become something he didn’t want to deal with (though he’d never say it)
     
  7. novorapidboi26

    novorapidboi26 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    The way I see it is the diabetes is mine, not anyone eases, not any partners.......so they shouldn't feel they need to contribute in anyway....

    sorry to hear you were dumped.....do you think the diabetes was a factor....

    as you diagnosis becomes a distant memory you'll soon find the impact and routine wont become so obvious....
     
  8. tvnerd

    tvnerd Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I don’t know if it was...and since T1d is not very common in my country it’s very hard to adapt to the lifestyle changes! It was a struggle to do small things like eating out because (a) limited choices (b) I am still learning about a lot of stuff so had a lot of restrictions to start with. Diabetes is also viewed very poorly here and considered an “illness” or “weakness” (though I don’t see it that way!) I am learning slowly but I’m scared about this new chapter in my life
     
  9. novorapidboi26

    novorapidboi26 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I think if you just concentrate on you for a while and don't feel you need to get into a serious relationship until you settle in more should be the way to go....

    where are you from?
     
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  10. Deanoh

    Deanoh Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to hear about your recent break-up

    If what you are thinking is the reason he left then also think good riddance! You needed to make changes for your health, if that's not a good enough reason, what is?

    Though don't think that everyone is the same as that, there's plenty of people out there that will understand and/or be willing to learn everything about you, the diabetes, what you need to do etc. and realise that diabetes does not affect you as a human being -

    You're still you - minus a little sugar!! :D
     
  11. tvnerd

    tvnerd Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I agree! That’s what I’ve been thinking if too. I’m from India, where are you from?
     
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  12. tvnerd

    tvnerd Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hahah I guess. What has your experience been? Has dating been easy?
     
  13. novorapidboi26

    novorapidboi26 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I live in Scotland.....

    I would imagine India would be a different struggle altogether in terms of attitude and culture.....but I think Type One must be quite common in India..
     
  14. Diabeticliberty

    Diabeticliberty · Guest

    Partners come and partners go. Your diabetes is here for life I am afraid. Treat it with respect and it will respect you right back. Having read what you have posted you don't strike me as being weak in any way. Quite the opposite I think you are a lot stronger than you might even realise. As for dating being difficult with diabetes? Naaaahhhhh not at all. Diabetics are full of life, full of fun and absolutely fantastic to be around. You obviously have loads and loads to offer any extremely lucky gentleman who crosses your path and catches your eye :)
     
  15. tvnerd

    tvnerd Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Actually type 2 is more common here. Because of the size of our population the number of cases of type 1 diagnosed may be high but the overall percentage of the population is low. Many people have never heard of it at all and I’ve received all kinds of advice like “stopping insulin and walking with bitter gourd in my shoes” or “trying to get new pancreas”. It can be EXTREMELY frustrating
     
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  16. tvnerd

    tvnerd Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Thank you so much for your kind words! I was very upset when I was diagnosed but it was actually a lot of the testimonials on this forum that gave me hope that my situation is what I make of it. I’ve been trying to do my best to control my numbers and become a fitter and better version of myself
     
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  17. Diabeticliberty

    Diabeticliberty · Guest


    See, I knew you were really strong
     
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  18. fletchweb

    fletchweb Prefer not to say · Well-Known Member

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    I often wondered if it would be an issue for me back in my University days but - it didn't seem to matter at all. (As there are so many conditions and ailments out there - medical science has done a good job in identifying them in this day and age) you may find yourself in a relationship with someone who has the same concern but a different condition.
    Good Luck!
     
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  19. leahkian

    leahkian · Well-Known Member

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    tvnerd i am sorry to hear about you getting diabetes and also getting dumped, if that is the type of person he is then he not worth it. In time you will become more at ease with diabetes but this does not happen over night and the best thing is for you to get that sorted first. When i first started going out i would hide that i had diabetes from them but at the age of about 21 (20 years ago!!!) i thought why should i not tell them i am a diabetic and that's how you find the people who are not scared. I did have a few questions to answers the one that sticks out is if i kiss you will i catch diabetes, i said no but i might turn into a frog. The thing is we do not ask to be diabetics but if people want to be with us, diabetes comes as part of the package. You are only young and there is enough time for you to meet people. As you say type 2 is more common in India but that means that people are more aware of diabetes and this may be of help. Do not change for anyone you are you and why should you change, it is you who have diabetes and if someone want to come on the ride they will have to except it to.
     
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  20. varma21345

    varma21345 Type 2 · Active Member

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    Yeah in India the most common type is T2. I am T2D from India and it is more prevalent in the southern region due to the food habits which contains loads of carbs . This was offtopic of your post but i can't really contribute anything towards the post as i myself am still confused on same . Anyways Hi welcome to the forum and stay healthy and happy ahead .People here will guide you definitely on the right way.
     
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