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Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by ellenvdk, Jan 13, 2010.
Ive just read your post and my heart goeas out to you. My thoughts are with you xxx
My deepest condolences to both you and your family.
I like you have lost a husband to diabetes and its the worst thing to watch someone who doesn't come to terms with this condition and die as a result.
Both myself, my late husband and both our children are/were diabetic. My husband resented it (he was diagnosed at the age of 7) and never checked his blood sugars or did his insulin properly - usually around an hour after eating when he felt ill. He had his first heart attack at the age of 34. The tests they did in hospital at this time showed that he had the first stages of kidney failure. He didn't change any thing and he had his 3rd heart attack while on dialysis at the age of 40. The staff at the Bristol Royal Infirmary's Cardiology dept operated on him but he didn't make it through.
My daughter is now on the same path as her father.She is now 19 and she is admitted to intensive care regularly with ketonacidosis (sorry about the spelling) , at her worst last year it was every fortnight.
This has been going on since she was 12 - before she lost her Dad.
She has been told by well meaning Doctors that she has either a grumbling pancreas, lactose intolerance, she has a problem with alcohol the list goes on. However I believe that she has brittle diabetes that with hard work could be controlled, she just doesn't want to.
A couple of years ago she was given a pump, which was fantastic......until the novelty wore off and she stopped doing her blood sugars or counting carbs, I also believe she was eating a huge amount of sugary products as I found chocolate wrappers hidden in her room several times
I offer my daughter my support, advise and opinions but as she no longer lives with me I have no say as to what she does, eats or anything.
I understand about resenting diabetes, I was 16 when I was diagnosed type 1 and thought my life was over. I became a bit of a rebel, became pregnant with my daughter and then hit earth with a very heavy bump
I haven't been the best role model, whilst caring for her Dad my diabetes control was low on my list of priorities resulting in severe retinopathy among other things. And I have a bit of a sweet tooth, so have been known to have extra insulin so I can have chocolate or pudding. However I have found a fantastic man who I married last September, he supports me with my diabetes and other ongoing conditions and with his support my Hba1c is down from 14 to 9.6 - still a long way to go but getting there
The reason for this long winded post other than to add to the condolences, is to ask for other peoples advice and experiences with teenagers, bereavement and diabetes.
I am so scared that the next phone call will be that she has been found in a coma again, but that she was found too late.
I feel your pain. I am so sorry for your loss. I am in a situation where my partner of 5 years (he's 47) does not manage his Type 1 diabetes properly. He drinks heavily, never tests his blood sugar levels so therefore guesses his insulin dosage. Many times he goes to sleep and forgets to take it then wakes up sick. So far I have only witnessed one time where he had low sugar. He told me once that he uses more insulin than needed to avoid lows & he knows he will have a shorter life but would rather live for now. He is now impotent so I know there must be damage happening. A few weeks ago he told me he wanted a break because he was useless and had nothing to offer me and he was in a bad place. Of course I am upset but I am at a loss. He has cut off from me and I know his ex-wife used to nag him about his management and that probably contributed to his marriage break up. I have been there for him all the time, didn't interfere with his management & of course told him that we can work it out if he wants to take control. He is in a bad place and I feel helpless - if I push, then I know he will pull further away. You can only help so much but ultimately it up to the person. My psychologist told me that in reality he won't have a long life (lucky to reach 60), he will probably go blind (he has never seen a specialist of any type) and die from kidney failure. I just cried and cried. I can totally understand now how debilitating this disease is. What do you do when somebody shuts you out & won't help themselves? I actually made an appointment for him to see a counsellor - I knew that even though he said he would see someone, he would never make the appointment. He probably resents me for interfering but I just couldn't do nothing. I just hope he goes to that appointment. I love him so much and would do anything to support and help him, but if he won't help himself then I have to let go.
Hi everybody I,ve read a majority of these posts and god they make me feel so choked, I can,t find any more words for these people who have losts their loved ones through their diabetes, I have had it for 51 years now and it is very hard work. But once again my heart goes out to all of you and I think of all of you, I am so
Firstly my condolences to those mentioned in this thread who have passed.
I think this post should be stickied. I found this helpful and if it makes people think twice about their DB care then what harm is it doing?
If youre moaning that the thread is all "doom and gloom" then sorry.... go and read another thread! This thread was not put here to ruin your day, it is a perfectly valid first hand account of the dangers of bad management. I dont have the luxury of knowing anyone personally who is diabetic so for people like me this forum is normally one of the only reference points for other peoples experiences.
So sorry to hear about you husband Ellen.
When I was younger (in my teens and early 20's) I thought that complications from diabetes would only happen when I got really old. I guess I was in denial too.
It was only when I started to get blind spots in my vision and was diagnosed with macular degeneration that it all became very real! I though, im not even 30 yet, how can this be happening. That, and reading posts like this has made me realise how precious life is and now I MUST take control of my diabetes and my life before it is too late.
I have a friend a couple of years older than me who is now blind in one eye and her kidneys are failing due to poor care and management.
Take care xx
Thanks to those brave enough to post on here. As a newly diagnosed Type 1 it was a real wake up call for me. I think I'm pretty controlled but I always end up taking my Insulin after eating rather than before as trying to get my daughter fed as well it doesn't fit in.
Good luck to all those in good health and strength for those who are not.
As a newly diagnosed T1D this thread is a real eye opener. I guess a degree of humility and great thanks to the gods of good fortune that I'm already 44 and so am taking my diagnosis very, very seriously and not thinking I'll only have to worry about it when I get older - I'm already older!
What I have learnt from you all is to have a little humility and be grateful for what I have; the chance to manage, with maturity, the disease and the choices I make about how long I want to live/love 'complication' free....
Thank you all.
Take care be happy always,You have live for you kids..Think of them....Best of luck!!!
Ellen, my story is very similar to your husbands and it makes me cry to even write this. I was home alone sick a few years back and woke up with a horrible headache. My insulin had been in the sun and denatured but I didn't know it yet. I was high so I took a shot of that insulin before deciding to sleep another hour and then call in sick for work.During that hour I stood up, walked to my restroom and passed out. Falling into the tub. Over five hours later I was found finally by a neighbor that had to break into my house. I was barely breathing, if at all really. At the intensive care unit of the hospital they told my mother that I was in a coma and would not live. My glucagon had rushed in while my body was in shock. Miraculously 24 hours after I woke up and had no brain damage. I did, however end up with debilitating neuropathy in my legs and feet. I was paralyzed for some time and though I have recovered some I still have constant pain each day. Was bedridden for a year almost. Even without alcohol Diabetes is a dangerous disease. I hope others can benefit from hearing our stories.
Condolence. Diabetes really do kill people. It is a sad thing that diabetes is one of the common diseases nowadays. And we have to fight for this and be able to aim for a healthy lifestyle.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
My condolences too. this is sad.
This does underline a widerspread problem though.
Ive been type 1 for 25 years since the age of 5 and at no point has the endless list of of nhs professionals emphasised, explained or drilled into me the problems diabetes can cause later in life and the importance of sorting things as early as possible. Im 30 and i have various complications now. This sad post terrifies me.
Once again. my deepest condolances.
Condolences Ellen, thanks for sharing your story
A very sad situation, and a lesson I hope those that either attempt to rebel against, or deny their diabetes will learn something from.
Very sobering stories and condolences to all involved.
I went "off the rails" a bit in my early twenties, especially drinking too much, not thinking of the dangers and wanting to be like everyone else. How I survived through that period I never know and would never dream of doing that any more without good glucose control, blood testing & being as careful as possible.
Uncontrolled diabetes can kill in many different ways. High blood sugar can damage to arteries and veins.
As newly diagnosed, I am touched by what happened to your husband and how it affects you and just to say this just tells me to be serious about diabetes and not to ignore advice and information given to me, due to the lifestyle changes I am having to make I almost dont want to know that I have diabetes, but upon reading your post reminds me I cannot ignore it, your testimony of what happened to your husband brings a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes, reminds me that I am privelaged to be here and dont want to leave my wife alone and that ignorance will kill. If I can do anything it is to remember the sad lesson from your testimony and strive to be here in tribute to that fact that diabetes DOES KILL.
Thanx for sharing such a touching testimony.
My thoughts and Prayers are for you and your children, all the best wishes for the future.
Simon aka Cobra3164
My deepest sympathies to you and your family on the loss of your husband.
Now if you do not take care of yourself yes you can die, but its not always diabetes that kills you and in the case of your husband Gerard, his blood sugar was not high 8, is still acceptable by the medical profession a blood glucose of 8 as being alright. I would question the doctors, 6 of them with him and none of them could help him, to me that does not sound right.
It sounds like your husband Gerard died from alcohol poisoning, which does happen if you have been drinking for over 12 hours, or you’re not used to drinking because it can cause side effects, or other medical problems. Again it sounds more like a choice was taken by the doctors and it back fired, hence your husband dying a few day later.
Excessive drinking at any age can cause all sorts of problems for people short and long term. For people on medication, the warnings are on the medications, that side effects are possible, and driving machinery is also covered by those warnings. To say the diabetes killed him, I am sorry; I do not accept that at all.
Have the doctors explain to you what went wrong. Gerard died and his blood sugars stood at 8, if most diabetics could achieve that level, there would be very few diabetics out there.
Is there any serious illness in his family? There is more to this than meets the eye.
Blaming diabetes on it gets the doctors off the hook so to speak...
Very sorry to hear of your loss and thank you for opening my eyes! I have been diabetic for two years, I still haven't really accepted it and with two young children, I find it very hard to keep under control. I knew it was a killer, but never really thought that I could be at risk, but your situation has made me realise that all diabetics are at risk. I will speak to someone about accepting that I have diabetes and try and take control.
Love to you and the children x