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Diabetes does kill

Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by ellenvdk, Jan 13, 2010.

  1. addictedtosoreen

    addictedtosoreen · Newbie

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    hi all
    Firstly, my heart goes out to you and you family xxx

    I am sat here with tears in my eyes as I am reminded againthat my son is in serious danger.
    To try and shorten this story so you dont get bored, my son was diagnosed with type 1 when he was 14 months old. Everything was ok while he was at primary school. Last sept he started high school, his care plan was not followed and he did not turn up to do his insulin for many luchtimes resulting inlots of trips to the hospital with DKA. He was adament at the time that he was doing his insulin. Ichanged his high school and they were fantastic with him. However over the last 14 months he has been sneaking food (my fridge and food is now in a locked room) lying about blood sugars and not doing his insulin. He has friends at school and is doing well in classes. Myself, his dad, the diabetic nurses and his consultant have all told him on many many occasions the seriousness of this behaviour but he continues with his distructive behaviour.
    My question i suppose is what do i do now? I have grounded, punished, shouted, cried and begged him and i am truley at a loss as to what to do.
    rachael xx
    thank you for reading and any help
     
  2. anilkumars

    anilkumars · Newbie

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    HI RACHEL , MY I WISH MY SINCERE APPOLOGIES AND TRAUMA THAT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY HAVE GONE THROUGH , I COLLAPSED WITH A BRAIN HEAMMORAGE IN SEPT 1997 AND AGED 25 , A FIT AND YOUNG BOY , NOW I AM 41 TOMORROW , AT THE TIME NOBODY COULD HELP ME ACCEPT MY WIFE WHO HAD BEEN IN THE COUNTRY FOR A YEAR AND ONLY KNEW A LIMITED AMOUNT OF ENGLISH , MY SON WAS 1 YEARS OLD AT THE TIME AS WELL, I WOKE UP IN HOSPITAL 4 WEEKS LATER AND MY WIFE TOOK CARE OF EVERYTHING , SHE IS AN ANGEL , AT THE AGE OF 29 I FELL ILL WHEN I GOT UP I FELL TO THE FLOOR AND WAS RUSHED BACK INTO HOSPITAL , THE DOCTORS SAID DO I SUFFER FROM DIABETES WHICH I REPLIED NO , THEY SAID YES YOU ARE NOW , AND CALLED THE DIABETES NURSE WHO EXPLAINED TO ME WHAT DIABETES IS AND HOW MUCH I TAKE (TYPE 1 ) , SHE SAID IF I CAME IN A FEW WEEKS LATER I WOULD HAVE BEEN A TYPE 2 (TABLETS) , THATS LIFE , I TAKE INJECTIONS 4 TIMES A DAY AND BLOOD TESTS , SO I KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE ESPECIALLY YOU LOSING YOUR LOVED ONE . GOD KEEPS US WELL AND HOPE THAT HE KEEPS YOU WELL TO, THERES SO MUCH THATS HAPPENED IN MY LIFE ,GOD BLESS, ANILKUMAR
     
  3. bunzorunny

    bunzorunny · Member

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    Hi Ellen,
    Condolences to you and your family,
    I am relatively new on this forum, but have experienced many complications from diabetes myself, having been one for 55 years and studied in depth about it. I know only too well what the affects of it are. All I can say is "I want to live and have as healthy a life as possible" I believe that if you eat the right kind of food it minimises your risks. I have found with my own health that when you feel you are loosing the fight; that is when you realise how precious it is. "LIFE IS TOO PRECIOUS"

    I feel you are a very, a very courageous lady to speak about this on the forum. I have the utmost respect for you and your family, I would like to wish you my sincere condolences once again. I hope that by your posting this comment on here people will rethink their strategy for survival as a diabetic. I am sorry if people think it is blunt, but your posting says it exactly as it is. You have to make the most of every opportunity you get to improve your quality of life, whilst you still have it. I speak as a person who has very come very close to loosing theres numerous times.

    Our lives are like the course of the sun.
    At the darkest moment
    there is promise of daylight.

    There are no shortcuts to any place worth going.
     
  4. elainechi

    elainechi · Well-Known Member

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    addictedtosoreen.......i know how you feel and it is yuk.!!!! jane was dx t1 2 yrs ago now 13....... have locked food away and i don.t mean biscuits etc...i mean fruit hypo stuff and a few crisps....yes she may take insulin or she may not....but i can.t be with her all the time. they say teenagers can.t see past a few days let aone years so just keeping her safe at mo watching the ketones and trying to keep sane....but it makes me feel less isolated and less of a failure knowing my kid is not the only one xx
     
  5. Mel44

    Mel44 · Newbie

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    I have had Type 1 for ten years now and i feel it is slowly killing me. I have done the DAFNE course and i have quit smoking and am on anti-depessants. Diabetes is killing me and i have told my family if i fall into a coma let me die. I can't even think about having a baby because my nurse and doctor don't care at all!
     
  6. addictedtosoreen

    addictedtosoreen · Newbie

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    Hi mel
    I read your post and couldnt not reply. Im not diabetic myself but my 12 yr old son is and has been for 11 years.
    I cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through with your diabetes but i can understand your deppression. I was diagnosed with post natal deppression 14 yrs ago after my son was born and it just never went away. I was put on prozac and pretty much left to deal with it for the next 13 years. none of the doctors i saw were sympathetic or really wanted to help, just gave me more pills. last christmas i picked up the phone to ring social services to take my children because i just couldnt cope anymore. Luckily i didnt and instead made a call to my doctors and asked to see a different doctor. He actually understood and changed my meds, later upping the dose so now and for the last year i have felt "normal" for the first time in my whole adult life. Please please please go see a different doctor, your meds are obviously not working for you. I believe that once your meds are actually working you will feel better about about your diabetes. My heart goes out to you, i have been in that black hole with apparently no way out, where the whole world seems to much to bear and you would give anything just to dissapear. If you want to talk, im here, sometimes talking to someone online and not face to face is easier.
    Huge hugs
    Rachael xx
     
  7. pumppimp

    pumppimp Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi There,
    just to give a bit of advice from a different point of view, I'm not a parent but have been someone aged 11 at high school with diabetes so few notes of wisdom from somone who is older and wiser looking back.
    Firstly when I was 15 I got cognetive behavioural therapy as part of a study I took part in I think this really helped come to terms with the fact I would have this disease for the rest of my life. It also helped me increase the amount of times I tested and sticking to my diet taking injections on time etc, I was still a teenager but I was much better behaved.
    The next part (not that I'm pointing fingers or anything like that) but everything about diabetes and being a teenager was negative. Everytime my parents brother sister or even my friends mentioned diabetes it was in a negative way everything I did was going to kill me and I look back at a time when I feel I never did anything right in anyone elses eyes. Infact I would go as far to say that my parents and myself aren't close now because I never felt supported or trusted by them everything about my care was negative. I would suggest ignoring bad behaviour (really hard to do I know) and everytime you see them doing something good for their care really over praise for it (testing and taking injections) maybe a reward after a week of really good control of taking injections and testing. I think this would have helped me to form a positive realtionship to my care more quickly. When you tell somebody whos 12 they will end up at 30 with no feet or blind or in a coma if they don't do better, they will pay no attention as they can't feel any effects at the moment.
    It wasn't until I had decided to take control of my condition that everything went **** up.
    The next thing is having access to the best treatment having a good consultant and DSN that a teenager can relate to and respect. If the professionals don't care what you do why would you care at 12? Personally I'm on a pump and I think it's the bees knees with that I can eat what I want (within reason) cravings are definitely less for me nothing is forbidden, whenever something is forbidden you want it even more. restricting food and having locked cupboards is definitely not the way to go I too grew up with this and it just made me think my parents will never trust me. if a pump isn't possible personally I would allow sugary snacks as long as they took an extra injection or went for a run or some sort of excercise to burn off the sugar, the do something good get a reward approach. With a pump I don't need to inject and can bolus inside my pocket without anyone noticing, also makes you feel less like a special case when people stare at you in school or have to be dragged into a special room when you want to be chilling with your mates.
    Shouting, screaming, crying, telling a teenager their feet will fall off in my experience doesn't work the only thing that did for me was praise while they're still young enough to get into good habits and not end up like the poor ladys husband above.
    Lastly don't feel a failure, teenagers are only going to learn what they want to learn you just have to be there to pick up the pieces as all good parents do when things don't go the right way. I think you were both really brave to say you struggle with your teenagers behaviour, hopefully this helps a little if not then oh well.
    Laura
     
  8. daniel1021

    daniel1021 · Active Member

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    Absolutely tragic story and I'm very very sorry to hear of your loss....
    This is my personal opinion but I think this should be a sticky in the complications part of the forum, mainly because although a heart breaking story it is the first thing diabetics of ANY age will see and for people a lot older it might be easier to stomach for them, imagine being very young and seeing this along with all the other bad things that can happen with diabetes. Its no wonder people disregard the fact that they have diabetes. I'm no saying its not a good post to have by any means but maybe have it somewhere like the complications part as the title "diabetes does kill" will put ALOT of diabetics off this site also if you are very controlled with diabetes and read that it may not as such apply unless you have complications already...
    just a personal opinion looking at it from both sides no upset intended just thought I'd place a view also
    still, very sorry for your loss!!
     
  9. mylittlepuds

    mylittlepuds · Member

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    I think she means his blood sugar went too low TheShark and they managed to get him UP to 8. Drinking and asking insulin is not a good mix as it can cause blood sugars to plummet.
     
  10. kathy fardell

    kathy fardell · Member

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    I'm thanking you for making this brave post. I'm type 11 and not too good with self control, this is a tough lesson and it's made e sit up and listen !
    I hope this Christmas will be more calm for you- Kathy x
     
  11. nataliegage

    nataliegage · Active Member

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    Of course uncontrolled diabetes can kill but unfortunately nobody seems to blame his drinking plus diabetes as the real demon here. Men can be so stupid where alcohol is concerned. I'm sure you tried your utmost to stop his Christmas session, but unfortunately I hate Christmas cos all this wonderful food is on offer, which is basically poison to a diabetic and alcohol. Well forget it.

    I tend to cut it out of my life and still keep to the normal foods I know I am safe with. Sorry, but common sense is the most important thing and really New Year is more important, because the overeating season is over and we can all be grateful for iving into another year.

    My heart goes out to you, your little boy and his two other children. With diabetes to look after yourself well you have to be selfish, but it's even more selfish when you have children to act irresponsibly. Nobody can blame you, there are a lot of men who just ignore their wives, much to their peril. I've seen this many times.

    It's hard work being married to a diabetic, particularly a unruly one.

    It will be hard for you, but think positively now. I wish you a good life. You sound a lovely person and life is so unfair - but your post Please G-d will knock some sense into diabetic boozers. Thank you for posting it.

    Alcohol affects the brain just like insulin, so some carbohydrate should be added to it,otherwise all the sugar in the blood is used up and as I've always known, more people die from hypos than hypers. Remember Balance is life.


    NatalieGage
     
  12. zeeshan

    zeeshan · Newbie

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    diabetes can kill in different ways. the elevation of blood glucose levels damages arteries, veins and capillaries. this can lead to a stroke, heart disease, blindness, peripheral vascular disease, muscle wasting or embolism.
    Diabetes is also the main cause of kidney failure.
    hypoglycemia which is low blood glucose levels can result in diabetic coma, and if left untreated organ failure.
    diabetic kedoacidosis is when the lack of insulin causes the liver to turn fat into ketone bodies. this causes the blood pH to drop. in severe cases it can lead to hypotension, shock and death.
     
  13. Engcricket

    Engcricket · Member

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    My condolences to you and your family
     
  14. Tracey556

    Tracey556 · Newbie

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    OMG! What a truly tragic story for you and your family to endure-especially at Xmas! But I have to admit that I too have been in denial-like your husband I hate having diabetes! I feel angry at the control it exerts over me-when to eat, what to eat etc so for 2 months I largely ignored it's existence, resulting in my now being on sick from work feeling so poorly as my BM readings were round the 27 mark! I now realise what a bloody idiot I have been and I'm doing all the things I need to do to bring my diabetes in line.Your tragic story has really struck a chord with me and whenever I begin to waver I will remember your husband and the lives that were devastated by uncontrolled diabetes.
    My best wishes to you and your little ones x
     
  15. Delphinum

    Delphinum Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    A school friend who is the same age as me - 30 - died on Friday because of complications with her diabetes. It's really shocked me and made me think about what I do. I try to do my best but there were 10 years where I didn't - I didn't have the best care and as a teenager, I just didn't care - and I worry about what it's done long-term. It's scary to think that someone I knew with the same condition is now dead. :(
    Condolences to everyone who has lost someone through this disease and Mel, I hope you get some useful help. I have been to CBT in the past year and it's done wonders for my state of mind. Please get a new doctor if the one you are going to isn't doing anything. My hospital team offered me appointments with the clinical depression counsellor specialising in diabetes so I'd hope you'd be offered something similar.
     
  16. kezz01489

    kezz01489 · Active Member

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    if you ever fancy a nattter or good old moan feel free to contact me.[email address removed] thoughts are with you hun.

    Sent from my GT-S5670 using DCUK Forum mobile app
     
  17. Jinxy

    Jinxy Type 1 · Newbie

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    My thoughts are with you xx
     
  18. DarkForcesRebel

    DarkForcesRebel · Active Member

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    :( Thats a sad story, my close friends Dad died from it too
     
  19. skhwoody

    skhwoody · Active Member

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    I have only had type one for about 18 mths and i am aged 39 yrs old on diagnosis. And i cannot believe the changes it makes to your life, but mostly the fact that in this day and age we are information hungry for everything and people still have total misconceptions about this illness.

    The ignorance of people towards this illness i find quite shocking, one work friend asking if i went into a hypo what they should inject me with, and another thinking it was akin to having a cold and i would grow out of it before long.
     
  20. MrsBRW

    MrsBRW Type 1 · Member

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    Try working for a company that won't make reasonable adjustments for diabetics. There slowly killing me.


    Sent from the Diabetes Forum App
     
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