Rockape671
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One of the best posts I've read on here Kerry, well done for taking control. :thumbup:
kerrygrace said:megzie2349 said:Hi,
I know exactly how you feel, I have felt very down because of my diabetes and actually have put myself into DKA by ignoring my diabetes and wishing it to go away but that did not happen. I have struggled with my diabetes, a lot of it is emotional and that transfers to not maintaining myself properly. I find that putting on weight does not help my motivation either and it's a bit of a vicious cycle for me as when I feel low I go for bad food. I find it's not easy talking about how I feel as I get sick of hearing things like "I understand" as they don't understand, it's not easy at all. I'm still trying to get help with it all. Thought I should try on here to talk to others like me; saw this and thought I had to reply as I feel so very similar to you.
M x
Hi Megzie,
I know I always hate it when people say 'I understand' (especially at clinic... GRR) but actually, I really do understand. I was diagnosed at the age of 6 (13 years ago now) so for the first few years my mum handled my diabetes. But as I started to take charge in high school and my early teens, things started going wrong. I would lie about my results and completely make them up. I would miss injections, not do blood tests unless absolutely forced to. I had an insulin pump but didn't really use it. In short, I would do the bare minimum to keep myself alive - eat when in hypo, inject some random number of insulin when I ate.
This is a tough lesson to learn - and we all have to learn it in our own way - but I just woke up one day (a month or so ago, actually) and knew I had to sort it out, because my diabetes is MINE, and it is my responsibility. No more running away from it, because the tough truth is - if you ignore it, it still exists. The doctors have been warning me about complications if I didn't take control but I finally have. I test 4 times a day, carb count, inject at every meal and try to eat 90-120g of carb a day. My HBA1c is not good - 14.8 when it was done 6 weeks ago - but you know what, I bet my next one will be a lot better.
So many doctors overlook the emotional effects of having diabetes - they think if they support you by helping you with all the physical stuff that will be enough. But it isn't. Having diabetes is a rough ride sometimes. But again - your diabetes is YOURS, Megzie. Own it! Don't let it control you, control it. Having a positive mindset (though it's SO hard to achieve) will do you wonders. I've found once I sorted out the emotional side, the physical stuff has become a lot easier.
What got me through it most of all was my faith in God - going to church and having a place to scream about the injustice of it all helps me so much. And I know that no matter what happens to me in the future I'm safe because God loves me. But we're not all the same - find the place that makes you feel better![]()
Sorry for rambling. I hope any of this was helpful to anyone who might have read it. Please give me tips on lowering HBA1c too, anyone!!
Kerry x
kerrygrace said:Thank you everyone for being so kind!
Craig81 - you're right. Diabetes is not easy but it does make us more compassionate as people. Partly why I'm following my dreams of becoming a nurse!
GUESS WHAT?! When I last posted my HBA1C was horrific - at around 14.8 (138 I think) that was around 6 weeks ago. I just went to hospital clinic and had another one done. After 6 weeks of hard graft - my HBA1C has dropped down to 9 (75!) I'm so chuffed!!