Discrimination at work?

[Catsymoo]

Hi guys,

Hope everyone is well. People around me have been furious at my experience and telling me it is discrimination and I need to take this further. Wanna know what some fellow diabetics think.

I've been struggling at work lately. I'm still on probation for the next 2-3 months and I am starting to feel targeted by management due to my medical problems and also because I'm introverted and don't fit in with my co workers so well. My control isn't great despite being on a low-ish carb diet. My levels are usually between 8 and 16, but that's another can of worms. I do try really hard to control it and change my doses, but my DSN clinic is rubbish, always goes to answer phone and they don't seem to care when I reach out for help. I've been feeling unwell and tired the last couple of weeks, I went to the doctor and got my first blood test in 5 years (I have major phobia). It came back normal but the HBA1C isn't on there yet. The doctor asked to see me urgently when I described my symptoms, and I've been told I am depressed but needed blood tests to rule out physical stuff.

I had a situation at work about a month ago and I do feel I was treated unfairly. I injected my insulin as usual and then my lunch had disappeared - someone had taken it. Sod's law it was the one day I had misplaced my hypo stuff because we had started ''hot desking'' and had to clear our desks the night before. I fully accept responsibility for that. That isn't my issue. My blood sugar started to drop really fast and I started feeling bad and freaking out. I didn't cause a scene, but I did approach a senior and I was visibly panicking and explained I am diabetic and it is medical. I found some jelly babies in my locker and I was OK.

2 days later, my manager and senior pulled me into a room for an informal meeting. Told me I was aggressive that day, overreacted and told me to be mindful of offending other people with my behavior, and said ''I don't want other people getting the wrong impression that you are just a brat''. My 2 seniors know I am diabetic, but the other guys don't as it was their first day moving over from the old office. They've suggested ''going for a walk'' on my lunch to improve my diabetes. I appreciate their intention, but when I did the charity walk I had a hypo when I got home. They don't quite grasp the changes we have to make for exercise and food.

I cried that day when I got home, and felt really down and guilty for my condition. I felt my existence is wrong and nobody understands me. I spoke to my manager 1 on 1 the next day, explained the urgency of the situation and mood swings that come with hypos and highs and she still didn't seem to understand.

Fast forward to last week, they said the way I asked to go to the doctors was aggressive (I don't understand how, I just asked someone what the appointment procedure was and if I was allowed to go?), and once again brought up the lunch incident and said they don't want these behavior issues to come up in my probation review. One of my co workers whom I trusted told them I was depressed before I had the chance to get my results, and they interrogated me about my health and even asked why I had to leave for the doctors at 4pm for a 5pm appt. (I don't drive!) This time I cried my eyes out in the toilet and now just feel like a failure and that I am going to be let go at the 6 month mark. I really want this job but because I'm on probation I am too scared to stand up for myself. I just absorb it like a sponge with smiles and then break down afterwards....

 

[Jaylee]

Hi @Catsymoo ,

I'm sorry you're having these issues at work.
How did your lunch disappear?
I work in a different environment with a different dynamic, so any sweaty wild eyed urgency is pretty standard at my placement.
(& that's just the non Ds.)
Do your employers have any issue with your work ethic & attendance?
Is there any way you can arrange a meeting with the collegues you allegedly "offended" & put their minds at ease?

 

[KK123]

Hi @Catsymoo, my experience is that your Line Managers/Senior management will not have a clue about the ins and outs of type 1 diabetes (or any other for that matter). What you need to do is get your HR involved (do you have one?, what work do you do?). Quite often they don't have a clue either but what they CAN do is employ the services of a Doctor or at least written information as to how it all works and its potential consequences. That way you have the input of an independent, qualified individual who is there to explain to your Senior Management on your behalf. Otherwise there is just you (already intimidated) and two bosses who are probably thinking it is as easy as taking an injection and eating. It may be that you are coming across as aggressive without realising it, ie, you are in a panic, you already know they will come back at you negatively so you pre prepare yourself for it and suddenly you are blurting out requests in an aggressive tone (without meaning to). You should also have a written 'risk assessment' recorded somewhere which they and you should adhere to. It's very hard at work, I know but you do have to stand up for yourself (apart from the fact it is classified as a disability so they have no choice), and get it ALL recorded so that each individual episode isn't treated by them as yet another 'nuisance'. x

 

[Catsymoo]

Hi @Catsymoo ,

I'm sorry you're having these issues at work.
How did your lunch disappear?
I work in a different environment with a different dynamic, so any sweaty wild eyed urgency is pretty standard at my placement.
(& that's just the non Ds.)
Do your employers have any issue with your work ethic & attendance?
Is there any way you can arrange a meeting with the collegues you allegedly "offended" & put their minds at ease?

Hi,

I think someone took my lunch in error, I'm not sure. I am not angry at the person who took it, what annoys me is how I was technically the victim in that situation and I felt I was the one who was punished. If I wasn't diabetic I would not have panicked/had a hypo and it wouldn't have been a huge deal.

They haven't brought up anything regarding attendance or ethic. I've been told I need to tone down my jokes, that's fine. I haven't had any feedback on my actual job performance in nearly 2 months.

I sadly can't arrange a meeting as they won't disclose the identity of anyone who made complaint(s).

 

[ert]

I have an email from HR to meet with them next week after having to leave work to go to A&E with DKA. I'm planning on mentioning that if Theresa May could be PM with T1DM, I'm sure that I will manage.

 

[kitedoc]

Hi @Catsymoo, So sorry you have had such a wretched time of it.
Only another diabetic can really understand the predicament that being hypo with no obvious source of remedy is like.
And education about diabetes is so important in the workplace so that others have some understanding of what is happening and what to do. That is a resposibility of management and perhaps HR as well.
As you say the disappearance of your lunch was most unfortunate and at worst absolutely scurrilous.
In addition to approaching HR, you may be wise to talk to your union, if you belong to one, about your legal rights. Or, even if at some cost, talk to someone well versed in employment/ industrial law. I am not au fait with such laws but you need that information to ensure you are not discriminated against. To be cautioned and have that caution on your record would appear to be a possible act of discrimination and just to be certain you would need to know your Rights and who would support and defend you.
The issue of who complained is not likely to be a wise course to follow as you note but a general education course and action plan to prevent future incidents sounds wise. Afterall with thecmoving on that day you might have also misplaced an otherwisecwell thought-out location of your hypo kit as well.
Hopefully your doctor will ge able to help you with your other troubles and provide a letter to help explain thevreasons for your behaviour which could then be on record in case of some misunderstanding in future also.
You may need to address your bsl control in general terms also.
I wonder if you might find it also difficult to do fingerprick bsl tests and thus not be able to really have an idea of how well your diabetes is controlled? Perhaps you need to discuss that with your doctor as well.
There may also be some dietary strategies which may help with bsl control and make the need for lunch and the critical timing of lunch less stressful or critical.
There are also some dietary changes which scientists are finding may help with depression and other conditions like diabetes.
Please PM me if you wish to know more as this is beyond your actual post question but a possible strategy to help.
Best Wishes from Australia from a 52 year on insulin TID.

 

[DCUKMod]

@Catsymoo - Oh dear. I'm sorry you feel so uncomfortable about recent events.

I'm not suggesting anyone's suggestions aren't good; they are, but I wonder of there's a step before getting lots of outsiders involved. My suggestion would be to have a think about what happened, and then what transpired and how you felt about it, and make notes. From there, I would think about how it might have seemed from the other side, and again make notes.

In your shoes, I'd be inclined to try to have a meeting with my line manager and say something like, "In some areas, we haven't got off to the best start. As you know, I have T1 diabetes, but I try very hard not to let it impact my day to day life and work, however, sometimes things go awry. I wonder what I can do to help you, and maybe some others to understand the basics of the condition and some of the things I have to do day to day, and also when things go pear-shaped."

Any explanation would need to be brief and simple. There might be something in this leaflet that could help you: https://www.diabetes.org.uk/resources-s3/2017-09/Advocacy pack_EmploymentV3-Jan2016_0.pdf

Whilst I appreciate you feel you haven't done anything wrong (and I obviously can't possibly make any judgement on that), but even when we're in the right, there are times when we have to put out the oilive branch in order to move forward.

I do hope you can sort it out.

 

[Jaylee]

Hi,

I think someone took my lunch in error, I'm not sure. I am not angry at the person who took it, what annoys me is how I was technically the victim in that situation and I felt I was the one who was punished. If I wasn't diabetic I would not have panicked/had a hypo and it wouldn't have been a huge deal.

They haven't brought up anything regarding attendance or ethic. I've been told I need to tone down my jokes, that's fine. I haven't had any feedback on my actual job performance in nearly 2 months.

I sadly can't arrange a meeting as they won't disclose the identity of anyone who made complaint(s).

What are the arrangements regarding lunch in your place?

For instance, I've worked where we can pop out & grab. Other places we bring our own with a fridge provided in the staff room.
I'm currently working where there is a subsidised canteen with a varied morning & afternoon menu.

If I'd put my lunch in a fridge it would be easy to identify.

I feel that a complaint was made & your manager pulled you in to hear your side. You mentioned it was "informal."
Have you since received a letter suggesting the nature of a "verbal warning.?"

It's quite possible there is another side where your managment was concerned regarding the "theft" of your lunch.
Now oddly, in my 43 years of T1 experience it's a common misconception by non Ds that we have to eat a meal by a certain time in a strict regime.. Of course MDI allows more flexibility.

Personally, I would see the recent experince as feedback regarding a way to move positively forward in a job you want.
Do you have a friend or family member you could "role play" with? practice a new way of comunication so no one can read into your requests for appointment leave or medical help as being allegedly agressive.

As I mentioned earlier, some work places heve their own "dynamics" regarding verbal tone & laguage used.
What I've had to adopt with my current collegues would not fit well with one of my past positions working in a school..

Hope this helps.

 

[There is no Spoon]

I really want this job

Hi Catsymoo, can I ask why you want this job.

The reality of the situation can be you find yourself in a work place that is not suited to you. The job has you in tears, the simple answer to that is get a better job. I understand that it is not always that easy, to find a new job, but it is almost always the best answer leave a place that is having a detrimental effect on your emotional well being.

Start looking for a better place now somewhere else where you are valued.

 

[Catsymoo]

Thanks everyone,

In regards to lunch, it's an office and I bring in my own and keep it in the fridge in our kitchen area, as the shops nearby just have the usual super carby rubbish that I don't eat. My boyfriend has labelled my lunch now as he got a label maker and it reads, ''Do not touch, I am shy'' hahahaha.

I want this job because it provides stability for me, I am 29 but this is my first adult full time job and the first time in my life I have felt independent. Because of my sheltered upbringing I am a baby and I struggle to do things on my own. I need stable income and routine. It is highly possible I am also suffering from ADHD based on some recent research I've done as to why my memory and concentration/inability to complete basic tasks at home etc is not good. There are really good employee benefits and the good most certainly outweighs the bad. I am just petrified I am going to fail probation because of my diabetes/lack of understanding from other people. I really need some kind of proof explaining how blood sugars effect mode and how hypos can come across being drunk etc.

It is however, the kind of job that is obsessed with wellness and gives feedback very often. This can be hard to hear, but I've learned to take it as part of my development. Whenever they've given feedback on my phone calls, I've worked on it and they've never had to tell me twice - this feels good. This indicates I am improving. But when it comes to diabetes stuff, I take it really personally, especially when people compare me to their grandparents who have type 2, they assume it's just about eating less sugar. Even in type 2 it's not the case of course, but it's very frustrating because as we all know, every diabetic is different.

I am trying so hard not to get in my own head about this, and I need to keep the emotions and work life separate. But right now I am feeling so worried, paranoid that my work is spying on my social media, paranoid that everyone sees me as a problematic employee, and that I cannot trust anybody.

 

[DCUKMod]

Thanks everyone,

In regards to lunch, it's an office and I bring in my own and keep it in the fridge in our kitchen area, as the shops nearby just have the usual super carby rubbish that I don't eat. My boyfriend has labelled my lunch now as he got a label maker and it reads, ''Do not touch, I am shy'' hahahaha.

I want this job because it provides stability for me, I am 29 but this is my first adult full time job and the first time in my life I have felt independent. Because of my sheltered upbringing I am a baby and I struggle to do things on my own. I need stable income and routine. It is highly possible I am also suffering from ADHD based on some recent research I've done as to why my memory and concentration/inability to complete basic tasks at home etc is not good. There are really good employee benefits and the good most certainly outweighs the bad. I am just petrified I am going to fail probation because of my diabetes/lack of understanding from other people. I really need some kind of proof explaining how blood sugars effect mode and how hypos can come across being drunk etc.

It is however, the kind of job that is obsessed with wellness and gives feedback very often. This can be hard to hear, but I've learned to take it as part of my development. Whenever they've given feedback on my phone calls, I've worked on it and they've never had to tell me twice - this feels good. This indicates I am improving. But when it comes to diabetes stuff, I take it really personally, especially when people compare me to their grandparents who have type 2, they assume it's just about eating less sugar. Even in type 2 it's not the case of course, but it's very frustrating because as we all know, every diabetic is different.

I am trying so hard not to get in my own head about this, and I need to keep the emotions and work life separate. But right now I am feeling so worried, paranoid that my work is spying on my social media, paranoid that everyone sees me as a problematic employee, and that I cannot trust anybody.

To be honest Catsymoo, I think you may be ovre thinking this and hanging onto "stuff" others have left behind. I know when we have something we are sensitive to, we'll focus on that. Infuriatingly, that's how it sometimes goes.

If I could just put on my employer's hat on for a moment though. You state that you are in a probationary period in your job, and you feel concerned about being let go at the 6 month break point. I'm not sure whether what I am about to say is more likely to freak you out, or give you comfort, but it is intended to give comfort, so don't be mistaken.

Bottom line is, as the law currently stands, there is nothing to compel your employer to keep you 6 months if it's not going well. All they would have done is pay an ineffective employee who isn't going to be around to give anything back to the business. If they didn't see a future with you, I can't imagine them keeping you on.

Additionally, if you were introduced to your employer via an agency, they will have paid the agency a significant fee for finding you. I mean often 20% of your first year's salary. That's a lot of money, but most employers will ensure there is a clause to allow for a refund of at least sime of the fee if things don't work out. The longer the new employee is in place, the less they get back.

So, all in all, if they didn't see a future you would be unlikely to be there. Take comfort from that.

I urge you to try to think of ways to lift your head from the minutiae of conversations. If you think you could be better supported by those around you, maybe ask if you could help those working closest to understand your condition, and what you might need to do if you go hypo.

And finally, I don't know if you can have a bag or box by your desk, but maybe always ensure you have glucotabs, or some very basic hypo treatment with you are all times. If it isn't usual to have a bag or box on or by your desk, ask for a dispensation, so that you can relax into knowing you always have what emergency supplies to look after yourself.

Plese don't think I am trying to trivialise your situation, but I do think, if you want to stay there, that the actions for change are with you. Very, very good luck with it all.

 

[Marie 2]

As an past employer I have some input on this. I am not saying you are at fault, I have no idea, I'm not at your work. I just want to try to give you some insight from the other side.

You can expect a company to work around the type one only so much. Yes you are protected, but if it's a constant problem interrupting your work, they are not going to look at the overall picture with you as a worker well. So you need to make sure you have certain regimens you follow to not let it be a constant problem. So this might not be the best example but I had an employee break his arm skateboarding, he was an employee of long standing, but he couldn't do half the things he did before. But we all pitched in and took over his duties until he was better. Because we knew him and he was an employee for a while, and he would get better. But if you are new and this is long term problem and an employee isn't able to do their job constantly then it helps create that first impression and it's not a good one.

They don't really know you. So when you went up in a panic saying you had to do this, possibly demanding. Yea it's urgent and I can see the urgency, I am a type 1 and have had to rush off. But they don't know you and probably have never ran across a type 1 to even know, so from their perspective they have this person with this horrible attitude being rude etc etc. Because we get irritable very easily and short when our sugars start to drop. So from their view it's this disagreeable person coming up to me and saying things I don't really understand.

So to help with this issue, I don't know your workplace so I don't know. Most of the time someone that is not a type 1 diabetic isn't going to understand even a little bit, we run across them all the time. But a large place will be different than a small place and sometimes they have strict rules to follow. If you have a HR manager you might think about talking to them and saying you think you started off on the wrong foot how do I correct this? If you want to keep this job always be very polite .

A first full time job, whether you keep it or not is invaluable to learning what is expected of you and how to get along with your fellow employees. So whether you keep it or not, be sure to take in what you learn as it will really help you at your next job. Part time jobs are not the same (usually) because they know you are part time and it doesn't have the same commitment. New workers to the workforce often bring their own expectations that are not the same as the job they took.

 

[clemo]

Are you in a union ? If so talk with them explaining what as happened and how your employer is dealing with your diabetes also contact everyone involved in your care and maybe try and get your doctor or employer to refer you to occupational health for a assessment. You are covered by the equality act no matter what your terms of employment are and it’s illegal to treat you differently from anyone else even though your employer may have to make alterations to the way you work. Hope you get on ok and can resolve this issue without causing you more stress which won’t help your diabetes, at the end of the day it’s just a job you yourself are more important, we all at times need to fight our corners when it comes to our work.