Don't make me angry... You won't like me when I get angry (or how to not hulk out)

[rab5]

Just curious, why do you put mood disorder in quotes? You may want to read the thread I started this week about the topic, that I linked in a post above. Do you not think he has tried to get his mood disorder under control?

There are many terms for the kinds of psychological issues that have been linked to diabetes in research. Mood disorder is sort of a shorthand term for many of them, which each have their own attributes.

The quotes? Because it was your phrase not mine. Dont flap it didnt mean anything lol
As far as the OP trying to get his temper under control..... I dont know, according to his post he was still angry some time later.

As an aside I find some people on this forum to be a little Disordered. The way they react to posts, seemingly paranoid, not being able to cope with an opposing view, questioning every post to the limit. As if they feel slighted by everything anyone else writes. Always looking for people to agree with them. Thats what I find slightly disordered..... and funny.

 

[rab5]

Your recent posts seem to suggest that you have gained control of your diabetes through a dietary regime and no medication.
Apologies if I'm mistaken. I do inject insulin, I have had hypos and I know full well that unless you inject insulin as a T1 diabetic with all that entails you have no knowledge or concept of what I am talking about.
You want to get real? Real is we are totally different. My condition is totally different to yours. Real is you will never understand my condition unless you have it.

the 'lets get real' comment is the fact that we are on a forum on the internet and I am giving my opinion..... thats all it is. I have turned my numbers round as you stated. I noticed you didnt mention dealing with a violent bad tempered person. I dont think you are correct that you cant understand a condition unless you have it... thats stupid

 

[Jenny15]

The quotes? Because it was your phrase not mine. Dont flap it didnt mean anything lol
As far as the OP trying to get his temper under control..... I dont know, according to his post he was still angry some time later.

As an aside I find some people on this forum to be a little Disordered. The way they react to posts, seemingly paranoid, not being able to cope with an opposing view, questioning every post to the limit. As if they feel slighted by everything anyone else writes. Always looking for people to agree with them. Thats what I find slightly disordered..... and funny.

You may want to re-read this, especially if wanting to reply in a thread in this particular subforum.
https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/community-ethos-forum-rules.50278/

 

[rab5]

You may want to re-read this, especially if wanting to reply in a thread in this particular subforum.
https://www.diabetes.co.uk/forum/threads/community-ethos-forum-rules.50278/

which bit in particular

 

[Jenny15]

Your recent posts seem to suggest that you have gained control of your diabetes through a dietary regime and no medication.
Apologies if I'm mistaken. I do inject insulin, I have had hypos and I know full well that unless you inject insulin as a T1 diabetic with all that entails you have no knowledge or concept of what I am talking about.
You want to get real? Real is we are totally different. My condition is totally different to yours. Real is you will never understand my condition unless you have it.

I had a read of the forum rules and ethos thread today and they stress the importance of not commenting between T1 and T2 unless you're very careful in what you say. So, I fully support you in what you are saying about this issue. I'm a T2 who is now on insulin so I know first hand a little bit about using it, but I haven't yet had a real hypo, so I know to steer well clear of commenting, at least until I've had one. I started a thread the other day *IN* the insulin subforum solely about an injecting issue, and had people challenging me on whether I should be on it. I was fuming but didn't report the posts. I may do so in future.

 

[Jenny15]

which bit in particular

The whole thing, obviously. I won't reply further about it in this thread, as thread hijacking is also against the rules.

 

[rab5]

I had a read of the forum rules and ethos thread today and they stress the importance of not commenting between T1 and T2 unless you're very careful in what you say. So, I fully support you in what you are saying about this issue. I'm a T2 who is now on insulin so I know first hand a little bit about using it, but I haven't yet had a real hypo, so I know to steer well clear of commenting, at least until I've had one. I started a thread the other day *IN* the insulin subforum solely about an injecting issue, and had people challenging me on whether I should be on it. I was fuming but didn't report the posts. I may do so in future.

have you a link to that

 

[donnellysdogs]

Well to me, the anger isnt a problem at the time.... And to be hobest I think it was managed well!!

The angst afterwards needs attention and being able to let go of it...

For me, I used to get so angst and not being able to let go of my anger with people but I learnt to let go by doing some art therapy, and by also doing something really simple like on here.. listing cars on an A to Z, my hubby did one.. made me laugh.. A-Z of murder!! Etc.. or just sitting down to do a crossword.
Its being able to let go of that event of anger... for me tge description above by OP would have made me angry too, and I am normally calm and relaxed on the whole. I also realised that on the whole that I can avoid anger outbursts on rare occasions from just thinking that these people are just small minded and I'm better than them. I also handle people that like OP on station are only worthy of a "i didnt deserve that" and walk away.. and forget it with my relaxation techniques.

I think letting go of the anger is more important in the scenario above and not dwelling upon it.

 

[rab5]

Well to me, the anger isnt a problem at the time.... And to be hobest I think it was managed well!!

The angst afterwards needs attention and being able to let go of it...

For me, I used to get so angst and not being able to let go of my anger with people but I learnt to let go by doing some art therapy, and by also doing something really simple like on here.. listing cars on an A to Z, my hubby did one.. made me laugh.. A-Z of murder!! Etc.. or just sitting down to do a crossword.
Its being able to let go of that event of anger... for me tge description above by OP would have made me angry too, and I am normally calm and relaxed on the whole. I also realised that on the whole that I can avoid anger outbursts on rare occasions from just thinking that these people are just small minded and I'm better than them. I also handle people that like OP on station are only worthy of a "i didnt deserve that" and walk away.. and forget it with my relaxation techniques.

I think letting go of the anger is more important in the scenario above and not dwelling upon it.

Excellent post could not agree more. You are a Wordsworth of the highest order!

 

[Jenny15]

Well to me, the anger isnt a problem at the time.... And to be hobest I think it was managed well!!

The angst afterwards needs attention and being able to let go of it...

For me, I used to get so angst and not being able to let go of my anger with people but I learnt to let go by doing some art therapy, and by also doing something really simple like on here.. listing cars on an A to Z, my hubby did one.. made me laugh.. A-Z of murder!! Etc.. or just sitting down to do a crossword.
Its being able to let go of that event of anger... for me tge description above by OP would have made me angry too, and I am normally calm and relaxed on the whole. I also realised that on the whole that I can avoid anger outbursts on rare occasions from just thinking that these people are just small minded and I'm better than them. I also handle people that like OP on station are only worthy of a "i didnt deserve that" and walk away.. and forget it with my relaxation techniques.

I think letting go of the anger is more important in the scenario above and not dwelling upon it.

I found that info helpful, thanks. My go-to strategy at the time when I feel sudden anger is to walk away, whether that's literally leaving a room, or closing the laptop for 30 mins and doing other stuff. By then I've usually calmed down enough to respond (if needed) in a way that doesn't make things worse for me.

Like you, I try to resolve it in my head later and find a new way to see it. The shrinks call this "cognitive reframing." If I can understand why they did it (usually they are projecting their own issues), and think of ways to reduce the chance of being exposed to their behavior in future, then it reassures me.

It's good to brainstorm this stuff with people who understand, I think.

 

[rab5]

I found that info helpful, thanks. My go-to strategy at the time when I feel sudden anger is to walk away, whether that's literally leaving a room, or closing the laptop for 30 mins and doing other stuff. By then I've usually calmed down enough to respond (if needed) in a way that doesn't make things worse for me.

Like you, I try to resolve it in my head later and find a new way to see it. The shrinks call this "cognitive reframing." If I can understand why they did it (usually they are projecting their own issues), and think of ways to reduce the chance of being exposed to their behavior in future, then it reassures me.

It's good to brainstorm this stuff with people who understand, I think.

If I can ask a question as I find this interesting.... you write...." If I can understand why they did it (usually they are projecting their own issues), and think of ways to reduce the chance of being exposed to their behavior in future, then it reassures me.

How do you decide if 'they' are to blame and not you or your reaction. That must be a difficult juggling trick.

 

[Jenny15]

If I can ask a question as I find this interesting.... you write...." If I can understand why they did it (usually they are projecting their own issues), and think of ways to reduce the chance of being exposed to their behavior in future, then it reassures me.

How do you decide if 'they' are to blame and not you or your reaction. That must be a difficult juggling trick.

Please start a new thread or send me a PM if you wish to discuss this.

 

[rab5]

Please start a new thread or send me a PM if you wish to discuss this.

It’s ok I didn’t want a discussion. Thought it would be a simple answer to a question.

 

[Jaylee]

As an aside I find some people on this forum to be a little Disordered. The way they react to posts, seemingly paranoid, not being able to cope with an opposing view, questioning every post to the limit. As if they feel slighted by everything anyone else writes. Always looking for people to agree with them. Thats what I find slightly disordered..... and funny.

.... & that's what mods are for. At ease "soldier."

 

[Lar oli mu]

I think letting go of the anger is more important in the scenario above and not dwelling upon it.

I work with emotionally disturbed boys, the wildest teenagers you can imagine. They would send my blood sugar skyrocketing in the times, when I was r e a c t i n g to them.
Big game changer for me has been: I will not blow up on something the boys throw at me, may be a provocation or something else they throw at me, but I will set a standard for me which the things are that I’m going to react to that particular day and then I’m going to react harshly and concise, even with a necessary burst of emotion, but will land the F-14 quickly again and MoveOn and not dwell upon it. “Starting the F-14” just burns so much energy, and has the liver releasing so much glycogen , so does any minute in flight. So I limit the flight times and I decide, when to take off!

 

[Lar oli mu]

Anyway, enough of the venting. My problem is that when something triggers my anger, I can no longer rein it in. It just escalates and it lasts for hours

You should maybe check, or have your adrenals checked. Try doing some research on adrenal fatigue. I recommend Dr. Berg and his YouTube channel. It is easy understandable.

I had the same problem, exactly 2 years ago.

 

[DCUKMod]

Ladies and gents, could we please focus on supporting the OP of this thread and stop the in-thread bickering.

Continued bickering is likely to lead to large-scale post deletions and/or the thread being locked. As the OP is not at the heart if any pickering, that would seem to be very unfair on a member seaking support.

Thank you all in anticipation.

 

[Japes]

@Belzedar I have also been increasingly aware of blood sugars out of control, either way, having a significant affect on my temper, which had been extremely well controlled over the best part of 25 years, other than occasional outbursts, with plenty of strategies in places for dealing with/coping with situations where it was likely to get triggered. I would've said until it started to happen nothing was likely to have me returning to my more volatile days of yore both in my teens and 20s. And NOTHING prepared me for it. I remember wondering if the Incredible Hulk was, in fact, diabetic as that's exactly what if felt like!!

I really felt awful every time it happened, as it felt so out of my control in many ways after so many years of people in my current life being almost totally unaware I even had such a temper and I ended up so ashamed of myself for this on top of everything else, I began withdrawing from almost everyone and every situation. I'm a strong introvert as well, and to function well I need plenty of time on my own, but this had got to a level I knew was wrong for me, and it gave added impetus to get my blood sugars controlled once I'd finally made the connection it was as much a chemical imbalance as a return of something I thought was well and truly dealt with.

I had a similar incident on a bus (driver known for shouting at passengers I learnt from a colleague who was on the same bus and came to my rescue!) yet I was the one being told by him I had no right to shout back. I wasn't shouting but I was speaking in stern tones my colleague clearly recognised I used when dealing with those of my students who are of an ilk described by @Lar oli mu The driver carried on shouting regardless of anything anyone said to him calmly. I also subsequently learnt that despite the way I felt at the time, I was told I handled it well, several people put in official complaints, and the driver was dealt with.

Um... I think I'm just offering loads of sympathy, empathy and yeah, I get it!

 

[satindoll]

Conversely its being "Hyper" that makes me react angrily and woe betide anyone who rubs me up the wrong way, with a "Hypo" I become quiet and look for a corner to curl up in..........but then we all react differently to what is happening around us on a daily basis..........personally I think the attendant was way out of line and the OP was very restrained in his dealings with him.

 

[Jenny15]

I work with emotionally disturbed boys, the wildest teenagers you can imagine. They would send my blood sugar skyrocketing in the times, when I was r e a c t i n g to them.
Big game changer for me has been: I will not blow up on something the boys throw at me, may be a provocation or something else they throw at me, but I will set a standard for me which the things are that I’m going to react to that particular day and then I’m going to react harshly and concise, even with a necessary burst of emotion, but will land the F-14 quickly again and MoveOn and not dwell upon it. “Starting the F-14” just burns so much energy, and has the liver releasing so much glycogen , so does any minute in flight. So I limit the flight times and I decide, when to take off!

Great post! Really interesting to hear about your approach. Reminds me of a quote "what you allow is what will continue," or something to that effect. For most of my life I didn't realize that if someone is bullying me, I can choose where to set my personal boundaries and then I can enforce them, quickly and calmly. It's amazing how many people learn from that and then stop trying to provoke a reaction out of me. This has been a great discussion so far of strategies for dealing with anger and I do hope the OP finds it helpful.