Hello, thank you for your kind response. I used to eat ALOT of fruits. Thought was doing myself good as they say to get at least 5 servings minimum of fruits daily. but I guess they weren't talking about those who were pre-diabetic or diabetic! I loved a whole honeycrisp apple, pears, peaches, apricots, clementines, kiwis, pineapples, grapes...etc..the works! Then lots of carbs from quinoa and sweet potatoes, gluten-free breads and pastas. No kidding I was killing my pancreas. I'm sure it' running on empty soon...I am terrified. Got mother's diabetic gene...I used to work out 5x a week to delay because I loved these foods so much, but all that gym time didn't help at all or just temporarily delayed it, and no gym now with covid variants. Anyway, even without, I have no motivation whatsoever, am hangry, miserable and depressed. Everyone here is so upbeat, I admire you all.
Madison, relax... You don't know whether you're prediabetic, type one or type two. Don't put the cart before the horse, and get some answers first from the pro's. You need to know your HbA1c, how your blood sugars respond around meals... Right now you're kicking yourself around without firm numbers nor diagnosis, and you're not doing the low carb eating right if you're "hanrgy" all the time. Eat more! Just don't include carbs! I just had a massive smoked Dutch sausage for breakfast/lunch and I assure you it'll tide me over until dinner, even if I ate a little earlier than normal due to an appointment. (It's that big, protein-rich and fatty). Eat until you're full. You can't keep this up if you're starving yourself.
There's a couple of things to consider. People with a T1 in the family can develop T1 or T2, like I said, there's a genetic component there and I'm not going to sugarcoat that. However, looking at my own family? I'm the only blood relation of my gran's who's got it. And that's a Southern, Roman Catholic family... I have more aunts, uncles and cousins than I know what to do with. Some I can't even tell you the name of, there's soooo many. I'm the only one who got blessed with gran's T2.
Then there's types: T1 is an autoimmune condition. The antibodies attack the pancreas and eliminate insulin production. That can come on slowly, or later in life, or when someone's just a child or baby. Luck of the draw. (T1, Mody, Lada...) Then there's type 2. Those make massive amounts of insulin, but due to the large amounts floating around, become desensitised. So if you're indeed prediabetic, there's kind of two options: Type 2, where your body can't use the insulin you have, or late/slow onset type 1, which'd mean you're in a honeymoon period. Either way, to get some answers you need a test results. (And yes, I am aware there are more types of diabetes, GD, T3c, brittle etc, but those don't potentially apply here from the sound of it.) First to find out your HbA1c and whether prediabetes is the case (HbA1c between 42 and 48), and then you can start worrying about type. What I mean to say with all this?
You aren't killing your pancreas. If it's an autoimmune condition your antibodies are and that has nothing to do with what you ate, and nothing you have done wrong. Just genetics. And if you're a type 2, then your pancreas is pumping out masses of insulin and isn't dying at all. Overworked maybe, but not half dead. Okay? Your mom being a T1 doesn't automatically mean you will be one, as T2 is still an option too and that can largely if not entirely, be fixed with eating the right foods. And ENOUGH of the right foods. Don't starve yourself. Here in the Netherlands we say "One egg is no egg, two eggs is half an egg, three eggs is an Easter egg!" Basically that means one egg is kinda useless, two isn't quite right, but three is just perfect. Yeah, I know, we're nuts over here. But for an old little rhyme... It speaks sense. You don't have to go hungry at all. Not for a minute, if you don't want to.
Quit kicking yourself around. Just get some tests done, (HbA1C and C-peptide and GAD if you can manage to get those last two from your GP as well. Throw for mind's ease sake in there, that might help.)
Be a little kinder to yourself eh. You're not on death's door, not by a long shot.
Jo
PS: I was awaiting a liver cancer verdict in the same time period I found out I was a T2. It wasn't until I was told my liver was a false alarm (or rather, still not good but not killing me in a matter of weeks, and as it turned out, fixable), that I started tackling the T2. I don't care about myself, I never have. Frankly? I don't think I deserve to be here, I've known better people than I who have died far too young, who did a better job at living than I have done thus far. But I know what it's like to be left behind as a young widow, and that is what got me in gear: I wasn't going to put my husband through early widowhood. Been there, done that, do not wish it on anyone, especially not someone I love so much. So that's why I'm eating the way I am: for him. You're not motivated, and I get that, really, I do. But FIND something that can function as motivation. Anything at all. I'm not upbeat, clinically depressed as I am and whatnot... The only thing positive about me is my blood type (A+). What I am sure of though, is that you are going to be absolutely fine, whatever comes. prediabetes or no, any type or none... Because you don't have to do it alone, we're right here. All you have to find is a reason. And if that's someone other than yourself, from family to your cat, or just a fear of needles, or complications or anything at all... Whatever gets your b*tt in gear on this properly, is a good thing!
