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Feeling sad

J

jojojojo2012

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Feeling sad today. We are two weeks in after diagnosis my son is 6. I still don't think I've accepted it. He's taken it all in his stride so far but is now saying things which break my heart such as I don't like doing this anymore (injecting) and last night he bled from his injection for first time (my fault must have done it wrong) he's swinging from lows to highs and I feel so inadequate. He's lost weight and seems so sad all the time. He's always saying he's hungry and short of injecting a million times a day I have to say no. He's only a little boy and I try to fill him at meal times but he's only got a little tummy! Also think I'm struggling with not being with him all the time. School have taken over now and I also work so sometimes don't see him from one morning to the next... Tho I'm always in the picture. Also not sleeping well paranoid about night hypos and checking him, and I don't function well on no sleep. Just looking for a bit of support really.


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Very good place to come for some support. I can't help you from the parenting side as I don't have kids but as a diabetic from the age of 9 since 1983 I have been through nearly every emotion that you can imagine with the condition.

But one piece of advice I can give you is that you and your son are at the very start of the process of learning, adapting and developing your lives to fit this condition in. And it DOES get easier. You must ask for help from your health care team about the medical side of it but also the emotional which is often overlooked and don't worry if It goes wrong. It will continue to go wrong and in no way is this down to inadequacy on your side. It really is a tricky little ****** to manage. Bleeding from an injection site does not mean you have done it wrong, I have injected myself hundreds of thousands of times and still get the odd bleed and bruise, it's just bad luck.

But on the positive side there are diabetics on this board, myself included, who have had this condition for 20, 30, 40 even 50 years and are still going strong.

Big hugs from the Canary
x
 
Kiddies always tug at the heart strings and parents feel their pain more than they do. Be thankful that you are able to do something for him.

I used to do a lot of genealogy and always felt sad at seeing a child's baptism when I already had knowledge of his early death. Infant mortality has, historically, been very high and often because we had no antibiotics or medicines. Being in a position to sustain his life by giving him an injection is a great gift. Be proud.
 
The diagnosis does turn your world upside down, and it is a huge learning curve and will get easier as you learn it all. I would stay in close contact with your hospital team, call them if you are not sure what to do - there are loads of places that you can get more information or help from like diabetes uk - they have a call centre in the day….and there may well be a parents support group (I know my Mum and Dad found that invaluable when I was little - working it all out and having someone there to help them with it all) - speak to the hospital (your diabetes nurse) and see whether they know about a group. I know in our early days the diabetes nurse at the hospital was fantastic and helped us hugely. The bleeding like Auckland Canary said is just bad luck - sometimes you hit a blood vessel when you go in, and then it normally bruises afterwards - it is just one of those things, try to keep rotating where you inject both the area and the part of the body - I tend to inject in the same area for each meal - so leg for my morning injection, other leg for lunch and arm for tea- so every morning say I inject in my left leg, and for each day of the week I inject in a different place on that leg - I end up with a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday kind of zig zag pattern going on - but avoid the bruises til they are healed. It is hard early on - working it all out, but keep talking to the hospital and get their advice and support.
 
I know exactly how you're feeling - I remember the first year being terribly hard; I cried a lot, was angry a lot and most of all hated watching strangers judge my 5 year old when she was hypo or hyper. I was impatient with anyone who didn't understand what we were all going through and how hard it all was for her (though, realistically, why would they understand?) and how amazingly brave she was being about it all.

I found myself unexpectedly bursting in to tears at odd moments (although I still blame that on pregnancy hormones!!) and it all just being SO unfair for the most lovely 5 year old in the world!

I also remember the wonderful people on this forum telling me that it does get easier as time goes on and it's true, it really does. Not better, perhaps, but certainly easier.

If it helps, I've found the "I don't want to do this anymore"s easier to deal with as time has passed, although they still do upset me. I just agree with Tamsin - it isn't nice and it certainly isn't fair. But then reassure her that she's brave and amazing to put up with it so well. I'd rather she let it all out though and rail against it now rather than bottle it up over time.

On the bright side, it's made me be much more organised and the whole family healthier.
If you ever need to talk or just rant at the injustice of it all, please feel free to PM me if you think it'd help. I didn't know any other diabetic children, and only now know a few so it'd be nice for me to have someone to chat to, too :)

x


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Jojojo.... All our diabetic children under 12 newly diagnosed are immediately being given insulin pumps with our CCG.... Have you been given this option?


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Personally, I think small children are far better off using twice daily insulin and being a bit more careful with the carb as opposed to doing numerous injections to enable eating flexible amounts of carb like cakes, biscuits, pies, crisps and all the other carp food.
Pumps are a good idea to do away with injections but can be difficult at times to use and set up and many find that the injections have been swapped with more and more bg tests and finger pricks which are as painful as the injections for a child.

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We were told pumps are an option further down the line but first we had to understand it all re. Carb counting etc. it does seem to be a but easier but when he's happy I'm happy... When he's struggling I'm emotional. Hes getting more uptight at injection times really tense saying its gonna hurt and all I can do is wish it was me and not him... I'm paranoid my older child will get it to. Have had a good week but today isn't a good day... X


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