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Finally Cracked

Faith, so glad things are looking slightly better. I think it was around week 5 when I realised for the first time in a loooong time, that I felt just 'normal', and balanced. I was a bit sceptical really and didnt think it could possibly be this simple, but I have to be honest, I just feel more like me and less of a mental nutty person. Maybe its time i started to face my health anxiety issues whilst i can look at it more objectively now.

A friend of mine felt worse for a bit, she kept going back to docs and they increased dose, and after a few weeks of free fall, she finally started to level out. So don't get too worried if you feel like things aren't improving, suppose they have to start us off on the lowest dose. For me it seems the correct dose, hope it is for you too, but it is very low apparently. give it a chance.

One step at a time! Hope the weekend is kind to us! X


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Since January this year. Found out I had diabetes on new years day :shock: using my father in laws BG monitor. Started insulin injections on 4 Jan this year. Felt horrific for the first couple of weeks as my body was trying to get used to lower levels of glucose. I am still in the honeymoon phase so who knows what my pancreas is up to. I just feel 'off kilter' most if the time now. Nothing I can really put my finger on, just not me.

Thanks for the support. Hope you are feeling OK today.
 

Not a good idea to share monitors (cross-contamination etc.) but since you were diagnosed and on insulin within three days it seems like a blessing in disguise (for want of a better phrase). Three days between your own diagnosis and insulin treatment starting is very impressive.
 
Hi, Faith*

Hope all goes well for you.
Not easy to understand what your are going through as we are all different with various medication's
Somehow you need to make sure that you are well prepared for the job interview in a few weeks.

How is the wedding plans going as that lovely event is getting near.

Roy.
 

Yeah, it was a bit of a whirlwind to say the least. I saw my GP on the Thursday and he referred me to the diabetes clinic, who got hold of me on the Friday. I then spent 4 hours in the hospital on the Friday afternoon and left with strict instructions to start injecting myself that evening. I am really only just coming to terms with the whole thing now (hence joining this forum). It seems crazy that they allow you to go home with all the implements to do some serious damage to yourself and just tell you to get on with it.

It has been really interesting reading other peoples comments on this forum and their experiences as I didn't really have to fight to get anything, it was all just pressed upon me. I don't even think that there have been any tests done to see what type of diabetic I am. I don't physically present as a stereotypical type 2, so it has been assumed that I am a type 1. I am seeing my GP on Tuesday, so am going to ask him a bit more about it.
 

Well ... hold on to that GP! You come across as calm and collected. Maybe your hidden condition was exacerbated by the XMAS and New Year indulgences and fast action was needed at the time. I hope the situation is clarified on Tuesday so you know where you are and how to proceed from there. Good luck!
 

Thanks, I feel anything but sometimes. I do feel exceedingly lucky to have been dealt with in the way I have and my heart goes out to those who are having trouble with their GPs and DSNs. Hopefully I will get some clarification on Tuesday.
 


The plans are going well thanks, I'm just trying to get excited for it all. We're going to make our music CD over the weekend hopefully. Then I just need to sort the dresses and turn up
 

Your GP sound like they're really on the ball which is good. Definitely hold on to them. I myself am quite lucky as I have a good GP, I think it's shocking how some people don't get the right treatments and test strips etc. Your doing really well from the sounds of it qbix. Fingers crossed your appointment goes well on Tuesday. Ask if your Type 1 or 2 so that you know for yourself.
 
Hope I am not too late to reply but when first on insulin I felt really bad and thought there was no hope and it was all in my mind however it was withdrawal from sugar and as I got used to lower levels felt better the nurse said I had gone cold turkey as sugars was high for too long the when more normal my body couldn't cope and was as if I was hypo even at normal levels hope this helps



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Sounds like you are in a much better place now, so that's good to hear. I'm still a bit dopey but think I'm getting better. Got my annual 'bloods' soon just case it's anything else, but I think I have been running 'too low'.
 
Faith, depression is the curse of the strong, and there's a very good book by exactly that name which I would highly recommend, as I personally found it very helpful. There's a couple of analogies which I use to describe depression: if you put one grain of rice in a pot, it makes little difference to the weight. However, if you continue to add more and more and more little grains, eventually, over time the weight can become extensive and the pot will overflow. The accumulation of all the things you've continued to be strong and carry on with have done just that - weighed heavily and just as a pressure cooker will explode as pressure is built up more and more, it has to be released somehow.

You have been through and continue to go through so much, and just as you've cared for and supported those around that you love, I'm sure they'd be wanting to do the same for you.

I understand your apprehension about medication, however it does not have to be a lifelong thing. Antidepressants can help you to feel psychologically stronger, which in turn helps things feels more manageable. Meds on their own wont necessarily do the trick, but support from loving family and friends, and an understanding G.P along with the meds and maybe some counselling would certainly all be beneficial. Do not just stop antidepressants without talking to your G.P though as they need to be reduced slowly. Also, it takes a few weeks for the meds to kick in / get to a therapeutic level.

And I mentioned counselling as it allows a safe place to offload (just like the pressure in the pressure cooker) and literally get things out of your head. There's something very therapeutic about talking about things out loud to allow the feeling that those 1001 things that were whirling around in your head, causing you distress can be reduced to 999 things whirling round in your head after speaking about them etc.

I am writing from both a personal and professional prospective and really feel for you, as I know what a dark and scary place that black hole can be.

Sending you big cyber hugs.

Leanne x




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I have also had depression on and off since my diagnosis of T1 many years ago.

It is amazing what I am actually recognising about my depression and thoughts since my diagnosis and doing this course. For me, my diagnosis of T1 in those days ( no forums to meet others, told I would have complications etc) took away a lot of my self worth feelings.. I have felt I have always had to accept what life has thrown at me since...
I certainly wasnt told... " hey.. You can live **** well if you take care of yourself, you CAN do the majority of everything..." . How I wish that I had been told this, as it wouldnt have made me feel as if I was sort of 'damaged'.. So to speak. Almost 30 years on now, and through doing this course I am finally starting to feel **** good about myself... Eg.. I was told when diagnosed to wear flatty lace up shoes because others could squeeze your feet, no sandals, no high heels etc.. So I have for the majority of my life abided by these rules... Today... Different... Lovely enclosed type, reasonable heeled sandals, fake tanned lovely legs, wearing skirt, new haircut, bronzed face and went with my neighbour and his two sons to the pictures... Felt fabuolous because I had lovely shoes to show off my lovely legs. Know everybody looked at skirt and legs because everybody made lovely comments... This is solely from starting my counselling course and learning... Starting to feel better about myself on the outside and just putting on a nice pair of enclosed sandals for 5 hours has made such a difference to how I feel on the inside.. And my self worth...

I think diabetes and how I was advised when diagnosed had a great impact on my self worth and how I valued myself..
Me.. Even recognising that I now have full control over night hypo's for the past 3 years... I didnt even realise how good I should feel about this.. Now even that is recognised and I feel as if I have self worth back, because I neednt go to bed and worry...

Value yourselves, I just personally hadnt recognised how I didnt. My new sandals will be coming out more often now.....
 
Thank you for your kind words and support. It's really helpful and reassuring knowing that your not the only one going through the curse of depression. I've been doing a lot of thinking since I've been to the doctors and I'm definitely taking things one day at a time and one problem at a time now. I feel a little better about those decisions so I'm just on the waiting game now. I'm not sure if the tablets have kicked in yet, it's been 3 weeks, I certainly don't cry any more and haven't been snappy and argumentative so perhaps they have started working?

Leanne, your analogie was spot on. I like it and think I'll have to steal that one off you! I'll have a look at that book when I'm feeling back in a reading mood. At the moment I can't seem to concentrate for too long on much. Hopefully that will change at some point. I miss curling up with a book.

.
 
Had a visit to the GP on Thursday to talk about the ads that I have been on for about 5 weeks now. I also don't feel that much different, but I haven't had any really low days that were a complete struggle to get through either. My wife says I am doing better so I have taken that as a good thing. The GP said that you won't necessarily feel a massive difference being on them as the changes that happen are really gradual. I feel that the fact I am in a bit of a better place now is a good thing so I am sticking with them for the moment. Hang on in there Faith hopefully you will feel like reading again soon.

Just try and take each day as it comes. There is nothing you can do about what has already happened, but you can try to move on from it.

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I'm back at the Gp on Friday to see how i'm doing on the tablets. So far so good hopefully. Certainly still feeling more positive and not wanting to kill everything haha
 
Hello Faith, just wondered how you were getting on and how your visit to the doctor went. I am on citalopram, they made me feel dreadful for the first few weeks but feel so much better now. I had suffered from anxiety and resulting depression on and off for years - actually ruined my life when my children were young. No other treatment, CBT, counselling etc worked so would say to anyone struggling like you were, to not feel worried about taking ADs, they were certainly a life saver in my case. Sometimes they do take a while to kick in though - so I feel disappointed when people give up after a short time. Hope things are progressing well for you.
Linda
 


Hi Linda,

I'm doing really well surprisingly. I feel sooo much better than I was so I think the tablets have definitely kicked in and my GP is happy for me to continue on them for a little while. I told my fiance, Kit how I was feeling and he's now helping me out a lot more round the house thankfully. (we keep it simple, dishes and tidying - the washer would break if I let him near it haha). Sadly my mum is going through a bit of a down phase again so I'm back to worrying about her, despite her telling me she's fine and she can cope. We'll see how she goes. She's eating really healthy though which is a first so I'm really glad of that, it's one less worry.

Work's still **** but at least I'm not handing in my notice like last time, I'm just trying to keep my head down and stay as busy as I can whilst I look for another job. Fingers crossed.

I've got an appointment next month for an assessment for counselling, I'm still going to go as last time I went a few years ago I think it kind of helped so we'll see how that one goes.

Glad to hear your doing a lot better now. I think your right, people should definitely give it a go and stick with it if it's going to help them. I was really against ADs as I was telling Weeezer earlier but they definitely do something to help.
 
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