Food issues

[ladybird64]

I couldn't think of another title.

Bottom line is, I have food "issues". I'm not bulimic or have an eating disorder as such but have massive difficulty controlling my eating and have done since childhood. (Just realised, "massive eating"-pun was unintended) I don't know how to get this under control and I am not the type who seeks therapy for everything.

I gave up ciggies, have more or less overcome thirty years worth of panic attacks, anxiety and agoraphobia but this is something else, I really am an emotional eater and I don't know how to get past this. If it was as simple as replacing bad with good, that's not a problem but I eat when I'm not hungry, half the time I can't even taste the food. On my birthday I was full of good intentions and all was ok. My mum got ill, I looked after her for a week, she has been in hospital since and all I have done is fill my face with **** that I don't really want. I make jokes because that is the way I am and I have managed to cope with everything else this life has chucked my way but how the hell can I control the diabetes if I can't get the psychological side of my eating sorted.

What can I do to fix this? There has to be a way, I refuse to believe there isn't a solution for every problem but I really don't know what I can do.

As usual, all your suggestions are welcome.

PS. This was difficult to write so please be kind

 

[wiflib]

Right there with you missus!

I've been trying to search for thread myself and another member posted on a few years back about this very subject. I too am an emotional eater. Always have been. It's not so much about the taste or the texture, in fact, I don't really know why I used to spend every waking hour conversing with myself about the reasons why or why not I was going to eat what I did (and I did, covering food in the bin with washing up liquid was one of the ways to stop me eating it but more often, it never made into the bin) but now I don't do that anymore, I have a greater understanding of how to control it.

As I have stated on more than one occasion, I would go back to eating all that wonderful ****; if I could eat macaroni cheese, jacket potatoes with butter and cheese, roast potatoes and yorkshire puddings, cake with buttercream, spag bol and chocolate, I absolutely would.

I'm not suggesting that you do what I do diet wise but when you do eat like that, learn from it. You already know why you do it, listen to your body on a physical level.
I am an extremely low carber. It will be four years come June since my diagnosis and the only way I have what little control I have is to avoid carbs in their entirety. I understand how many here control it by restricting their portion sizes but one forkful of pasta or a small potato will have me fighting, and loosing, a carb addict craving for days. Don't blame yourself for the physical reaction your body does to all those lovely carbs. It wants more and just like any other addict, the more you have, the more you want.

It REALLY does change. I would eat parsnips a few months back but they are now reserved for special occasions at my local Everards carvery and I don't eat fruit at all anymore. The crunchy, out of season strawberries I ate last week finally put paid to that :sick:

Don't let yourself go hungry. That will turn into a craving. Understand that sometimes, you have to eat because you need to eat, not because you fancy it. If you really need to binge, do it on low carb cakes and stuff, but most of all, understand that it is an addiction of sorts but unlike cigarettes and alcohol, we can't do without food. Know that there are times you will slip-up but eventually, it will be the final slip-up.

wiflib

 

[chocoholicnomore]

Angie, I am right there with you!

I wish I could give you advice or suggestions but, basically, I have no idea what to do.

You have overcome so much in the past that I thought diabetes would have been a skoosh to you. But I know exactly what you mean about the emotional eating and not tasting what you eat.

That's a really excellent and encouraging post wiflib. I so hope you are right and things get easier as time goes on.

 

[borofergie]

covering food in the bin with washing up liquid was one of the ways to stop me eating it

I hope that it was low-carb washing up liquid :shock:

 

[Glados]

I think what you need to do is find a new way to comfort/reward yourself. I've cut the cigs out too and am also trying to control T2 with diet (and LOADS of walking), so I know where you are coming from. It is a bit of a challenge to cope sometimes... I'd happily sit down and eat to cheer myself up (hence my medical issues LOL) but we can't do that can we?

I've found that creative hobbies are good; they keep your hands busy and give you an excuse to collect together lots of pretty bits and pieces. I also like to collect make-up and experiment with looking 10 years younger (I'm not quite there yet). :wink:
Meditation can be helpful and so can having a lovely soft wrap to snuggle yourself in, or a warm wheat bag (in this cold weather) to cuddle, when you are stressed. Or what about a nice long bath with candles and music?

Also (and I know this will make me sound a bit mental to some people) I've used my walking time (I have a pedometer and set myself goals) to take myself off to Church and back, whenever they have services or evening prayers... Mind, body and spirit there. :angel:

 

[wiflib]

Washing up liquid is carb free BF. It's the roast potatoes underneath that are the dodgy things :wink:

wiflib

 

[Sid Bonkers]

Hi Ladytbird, I was always an emotional eater plus would just eat for no reason at all 3 or 4 choc bars a day was the norm and instead of a sandwich for lunch I would eat two bagettes and 2 or 3 bags of crisps, some days I would eat so much that it ruined my diner and I would just feel sick.

Anyway here is what worked for me: no snacks between meals, ever, if I thought that I wanted a bag of crisps/biscuits etc I would look at the time and tell myself its only x hours till lunch/diner and I can wait and I would actually look forward to eating my meals rather than them just being more food. I always focused on the next meal.

I do now have the occasional snack between meals now I have lost the weight and gained control of my db but its nothing like the snacking I used to indulge in.

Sounds stupid when I write it down but I swear it worked - for me at least

 

[catherinecherub]

I couldn't think of another title.

Bottom line is, I have food "issues". I'm not bulimic or have an eating disorder as such but have massive difficulty controlling my eating and have done since childhood. (Just realised, "massive eating"-pun was unintended) I don't know how to get this under control and I am not the type who seeks therapy for everything.

I gave up ciggies, have more or less overcome thirty years worth of panic attacks, anxiety and agoraphobia but this is something else, I really am an emotional eater and I don't know how to get past this. If it was as simple as replacing bad with good, that's not a problem but I eat when I'm not hungry, half the time I can't even taste the food. On my birthday I was full of good intentions and all was ok. My mum got ill, I looked after her for a week, she has been in hospital since and all I have done is fill my face with **** that I don't really want. I make jokes because that is the way I am and I have managed to cope with everything else this life has chucked my way but how the hell can I control the diabetes if I can't get the psychological side of my eating sorted.

What can I do to fix this? There has to be a way, I refuse to believe there isn't a solution for every problem but I really don't know what I can do.

As usual, all your suggestions are welcome.

PS. This was difficult to write so please be kind

Hi ladybird,
It is emotional eating IMHO.
I once spoke to a psychologist who was very good at helping the patients I nursed who had eating disorders. I asked him why many overweight woman pretend they are happy with their body and never diet. His answer was that the extra weight they are carrying is emotional baggage that they either do not address the problem, sweep it under the carpet or are so conditioned that they do not recognise it. This seemed a bit harsh to me but I never got another chance to speak to him as he moved abroad shortly after that.

Reading your post it seems that your emotions rule your eating habits.
I have read many articles and been to lectures about food issues and below I have set out what may or not may be the problem. These are only my thoughts and not set in stone and not all parents behave in this way.

We are conditioned from an early age to accept food as a reward. When we cry as babies, we are usually fed unless our parents are old school and make us wait until the clock says that it is time for us to be fed.
When we are a bit older, if we fall over, bang our knee, fall off our bikes, our Mum kisses it better and usually gives us a food treat to make us feel better. When we refuse our meal we are assured that if we eat it all then we can have some ice-cream, sweets or chocolate.
When we are feeling unwell we are told to eat all the chicken soup that has been prepared as it will make us feel better.
Passing an exam, failing an exam, being dumped by your boyfriend or waking up to the fact that he is a waste of space means that when you tell Mum about these milestones she will reward us with a cup of hot chocolate and a few hobnobs. This reward system carries on until we leave home but now we have been conditioned to accept that food makes us feel better and we now have a habit that is difficult to break.

We are now on our own in the big bad world and things can and do go wrong for us and so we carry on with the habit. It could be something simple as the washing machine breaking down, the dog needs to see the vet, simple things that make us emotional and so we carry on the old habit of eating to relieve the hurt and stress that we are feeling.

We find a partner and settle down and are really happy and the reward side of eating lays dormant. This will surface again if things go wrong and we have chosen Mr. Wrong as opposed to Mr. Right and then it may surface again if we have kids because we might feel inadequate as a parent, feel guilty that we are not the best parent in the world, be unable to discipline the children properly or a million and one other things that family life throws at us. We may also have started to instil the same conditioning and reward system into our kids. The stressors that cause us to eat are all around us and what stresses one person does not necessarily stress another. If I lose my house keys it is irritating but it doesn't throw me as I have a back up set. I may have to change the locks but it is not the end of the world. For someone else, it will cause them great anxiety and they will feel helpless and resort to eating that packet of biscuits.. Different people have different coping skills for life's problems and there are all manner of things like poor relationships, lack of confidence and poor self esteem that came into play. We are real complex creatures us humans. :lol:
A habit has been formed and, like you gave up the ciggies, you have to break it. Find another way to deal with anything that is making you overeat.
You may think this is a lot of rubbish or you may be able to identify some of the things I have written. Nobody needs to bare their soul about what is going on in their life but it may help to read another point of view. Always ask yourself before you put that food into your mouth, "Am I feeding a need or needing a feed".

 

[Glados]

Catherinecherub is right, I think. Mindlessly eating (not tasting or needing it) is about "stuffing down emotions" that we don't want to voice or deal with. It works in the very short term but then just adds to life's problems.

 

[noblehead]

Great post Catherine! :thumbup:

 

[viviennem]

I too am a comfort eater, and a lot of my relationship with food is emotional. I agree with so much that Catherinecherub has posted - except that I wasn't rewarded with sweets as a young child because of rationing! Then again my mother was a great home-baker, so the odd piece of cake may well have been in there. I was always made to clear my plate - I had to eat a bit of everything - even sprouts :shock: - and my mother could boil vegetables into submission with remarkable vindictiveness. I still feel guilty if I leave any food on my plate, and I am almost incapable of throwing food away. Waste!

I am struggling to get back in control after my abortive attempt at the Slimfast. I think this is because there's about twice as much carb in a Slimfast day (2 shakes) than in my "normal" eating, and I really am suffering with carb cravings. Mainly for bread, but a steak pie found its way in there somehow, last week (delicious it was, too ).

The only way I can control my "emotional" eating is to have nothing in the house that I can't eat. How I would manage if I was part of a family I simply don't know. Those of you who have to feed others and still manage your diets have my greatest admiration.

I think the thing is, for us to try to take it a day at a time. Put each lapse behind us, and carry on. Never say "I'll start again tomorrow" (like I do! ) because tomorrow never comes. I like Catherine's "feeding a need or needing a feed", and will try my best to apply it. Thanks, Catherine.

One thing no-one has mentioned is punishment feeding. Nobody loves me, I'm a hateful person, if I make sure I'm fat and disgusting I'll really deserve not to be loved. There is also the protective issue - I've been hurt too much, I can't cope with relationships, if I'm fat and ugly I won't have to. Or, certainly at least partly in my case, in the past - I'm one of the boys, I work with males, I'll make myself big and strong like them so they don't treat me 'girly'. .

How did something as uncomplicated as re-fuelling ourselves ever become so complicated?

Viv 8)

 

[catherinecherub]

I was surprised to get so many p.m.'s from people who could identify with my previous post on here, I am glad that you found it helpful.
It is so necessary to come to terms with why you are an emotional eater and try and use other strategies when the "feed a need" moment arrives.
It will not be solved by eating low carb substitute treats because you are still perpetuating the behaviour when you eat six low carb biscuits instead of those two chocolate digestives. The low carb ones may not affect your blood sugars but is it teaching you anything about your emotional eating? Ask yourself why a hard boiled egg wont do it for you?

 

[chocoholicnomore]

Catherine

Are you in this room watching me with hidden cameras or something :lol: :lol: :lol:

It will not be solved by eating low carb substitute treats because you are still perpetuating the behaviour when you eat six low carb biscuits instead of those two chocolate digestives. The low carb ones may not affect your blood sugars but is it teaching you anything about your emotional eating? Ask yourself why a hard boiled egg wont do it for you?

 

[ladybird64]

Thanks to everyone who replied. I won't go into details here but will say that my childhood was not the happiest, rather unusual (not the fault of my grandparents who raised me) and my eating difficulties definitely started then. I even have memories of demolishing a 1lb bar of Dairy Milk and then belting down to the corner shop to replace it before anyone got home!!

It is something I need to give a lot of time to if I want to be able to find a way through it and I haven't done this up until now. I looked up emotional eating but most of the time that only deals with anorexia, builmia or binge eating none of which apply to me. Anyway..I'm now taking it seriously and will put as much effort into facing this as I did the other things in my life.

Thank you x