My husband is type 1 diabetic and has been for a number of years
We are currently on holiday with family members and he is having real issues with the rest of us eating out or even when we cook at the apartment saying we are selfish and food obsessed !! He’s saying I’ve never supported him and I’m not sure what I should do ?? Do I stop enjoying food out of solidarity??
Sounds like his relationship with food is his problem to solve, not yours to take on as a burden. He could be feeling left out, sure, (haven't we all felt like that sometimes when everyone's going all-out and we're basically a little benched?), but to throw a "You've never supported me" in there as well... Is there a possibility his sugars were high at the time he said it? Diabetics of any type can get a bit "grrrrr-argh" when high. But all in all.... This does merit further investigation. Probably not while on holiday with family though!
The relationship he has with food is his issue, and might require some rethinking things, maybe professional help if he can't flip that switch on his own. His relationship with you however, concerns you both. Has he
really felt unsupported, and if so, how long? Was he, truly? Or is that just the holiday-stresses talking? Are there underlying frustrations and hurts there that need to be discussed? You're not a telepath, if there was something he needed from you, he should have asked. As a non-diabetic, you might not know what we run into, emotionally, physically, practically. Maybe you thought you were doing fine, while you weren't. Maybe you were doing an excellent job being a Diabetic's Wife, and he just threw it out there to be hurtful? What's all this about, and how can it be fixed? What, specifically, does he need from you, what do you need from him, and how can you both get there, together? Not questions to answer me, but questions to discuss at home when things have calmed down.
Like I said, the food is his issue... I mean, yesterday my husband ordered a Domino's pizza and all I did was just inhale deeply from the box and look at it, but after 7 years I can just enjoy
his enjoyment. Was a time though, a few years ago, when watching a high tea in progress in a restaurant could bring me to tears. Yesterday I just had the chicken, and loved it. We do get to eat nice things... Just not all things, if correcting for them is too complicated for whatever reason. That's another thing.... Can he carb count and adjust his dosage? He might not need to miss out as much as he currently is. Maybe see a specialist together and figure out how he can get some food-enjoyment back into his life?
You did well, coming on here and asking for help. You obviously care about him, and about your marriage. Hang in there eh.
Hugs,
Jo
