You know what though, I find sometimes crying helps (though embarassing) it shows that you care and you're fed up and you need help to put it right. It sounds like you're getting down and maybe even depressed about it and the hardest thing to do is to ask for help and so if you get upset, that's what you're doing and they will have to take notice.
Start with baby steps, set a goal such as 'I will do 3 tests today' or 'I will not eat anything bad today' and go from there.
What was your last HBA1C? Maybe set a small target such as getting it down 1 or 1.5% by your next test. Everythiong has a knock on effect and you can see the results, if you cut out the junk you'll lose weight, if you start to study your bs results you're control will improve, eventually you'll feel like you're making progress