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Help Needed For Wife Of Diabetic Husband

Discussion in 'Type 2 Diabetes' started by Kayleigh1008, Jun 20, 2018.

  1. smw99

    smw99 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Yes he needs to take responsibility for himself but if you mostly do the cooking and the shopping you could decide to eat a healthier lower carb diet yourself. I do that and I rarely cook anything I now consider poor quality food for anyone. That means the meals I cook when my family visit or when friends come over are low carb. They are also delicious! My husband eats a small amount of muesli for breakfast before a 2 egg mushroom and spinach omelet, sometimes has a slice of toast or bread and eats naan bread with curry. I never cook pasta, potatoes or rice at all. He says he feels much better for it.
    A lot depends on your relationship and whether this is possible or not. It is hard when many people do get a clear message from their doctor/nurse that you can eat what you like and just take the pills. They also tell you diabetes is progressive which it is if you follow their advice! If you decide to change what you eat, you may feel more in control and you will almost certainly be healthier and he might just start to change a but. I do so hope things improve for you.
     
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  2. dancer

    dancer Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    @Kayleigh1008 there's lots of good advice above.

    You mentioned your husband's blood sugar was 10 after eating healthily. I wonder if he is like my husband who's alcohol free choice of drink was cola. When diagnosed Type 2, he changed to orange juice (nice and healthy!) till I pointed out that I drink OJ to raise my blood sugar, when I have hypos.

    There's loads of lovely low carb meals you could make for both of you . . . but you can't force him to eat them. If he got on better when he was prescribed test strips, if you can afford to, buy some online. If he can see what foods raise his blood sugar, he can avoid them. He's a young man, so hopefully he'll take control of his diabetes, for himself as well as you.

    There's loads of information available on the forum. Maybe he could take a look.
     
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  3. M6CEB

    M6CEB Type 2 · Newbie

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    Hi! @Kayleigh1008 husband here..!

    I appreciate everyone who has commented and especially to Kayleigh for starting the thread.

    It started about a couple of years ago, started getting very sleepy in the day and kayleigh said I should go to the drs as I probably had diabetes as her nan has it and recognised the signs. I went to the drs and my hb1c was around 75 I think. It was a shock and was given some tablets. Was not metformin but can't remeber the name now.

    After a few months I had another test and got put on metformin as I'm guessing the readings came down I've been on metformin for about 8 months now and since been reduced to 1 tab a day instead of 2.

    My diet is still the same. I eat sweets, ice cream etc.. Same as I always have. I have never had a good diet and thought that metformin fixed the diabetes, yes I have buried my head in the sand but I don't know if I am getting any health issues. The only thing I notice is I need to wee a lot! Several times a day and night.

    I want to sort my diet out but I really have no clue where to start. I oviously don't want to die but is it that serious? I know it can effect your vision limbs but mine all seem fine.

    I've just tested my blood with my old meter and it's 11 after tea.

    Thanks for all your advise and input :)

    Matt
     
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  4. Mike d

    Mike d Type 2 · Expert

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    My diet is still the same. I eat sweets, ice cream etc.. Same as I always have. I have never had a good diet and thought that metformin fixed the diabetes

    There's a lot wrong about this. Get rid of the sugars, don't think for a second that Metformin will help in any meaningful way as it won't
     
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  5. Crocodile

    Crocodile Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    11 after tea. That's why you're piddling all the time. Your kidneys are trying to pee the sugar out of your blood. One of the unfortunate things about this condition is that symptoms only become noticeable with long term elevation of glucose. Even more unfortunate is that when they become noticeable it is often too late.

    Best thing for you to do right now is spend a couple of hours reading through the forum. Without exception you will find that the only path that keeps blood glucose at tolerable levels is to reduce the intake of carbohydrates. I mean serious reductions too. Dieticians in general recommend about half of our normal diet be composed of carbs. Bad luck that us diabetics aren't normal.

    For instance, I have only 60g of carbs per day rather than 330g. Some of us here have even less than that. Some a bit more but you'll get the idea. It's not all doom and gloom though as I can still have yummy things in bigger portions like bacon and eggs for breakfast. Much nicer than a bowl of corn flakes. Anyway, stick around and you will learn quite a bit in a short space of time just like I did.

    Have fun,
    Glenn
     
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  6. JoKalsbeek

    JoKalsbeek Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    "Is it that serious?" Well... Yeah, it is. The T2's I've had in my family all were oblivious to carbs and their impact on their health. We didn't know what we do now. Most of them died just a couple of years after diagnosis. My best friend's mom was sent home from the hospital with the advice to just have some warm milk and painkillers, while a heartmuscle was torn. She died that night, obviously, though I don't think they could've saved her if they'd listened to her. (She are chocolate and heaos of potatoes every day. And pastries.).My aunt is the only one still hanging in there, but she has busted veins in her legs and big oozing wounds on her chins that never close. Down to the bone. She's got mental health problems so she isn't capable of understanding her disease or how her meds work, so diet is completely beyond her. Me, I was diabetic for years before I was diagnosed... Eyesight fluctuated wildly, and I didn't know why. My kidneys aren't okay, as I'm guessing yours aren't, and I have non-alcoholic fatty liver disease, which I'm fairly certain is a problem for you too, -it's pretty universal in t2's- but you wouldn't know it if you weren't tested for it. You don't feel any of that until they already fail or get inflamed. When the ship has sailed, basically. Metabolic syndrome, including those things, goes hand-in-hand with diabetes, after all. Running high bloodsugars all the time means kinda slowly sandpapering organs into failing. Not noticable until it's too far gone to fix. Kidneys, liver, heart, veins, eyes... I remember my grandmother dreading going to bed in the evenings because her heartbeat would become irratic, and she was terrified of dying. In the daytime she'd often eat sweet pastries, and sugary coffee with whipped cream, as she counted on metformin to fix it all. That was 20 years ago, and I don't think if she'd known about carbs, she would have changed anything, because she always felt the rules didn't apply to her. (She wasn't a nice person, thought she was better than everyone else and the rules couldn't ever apply to her. So it was in her character to be contrary.). One night, her fear of dying was valid. Heartfaillure due to diabetic complications.

    I'm low carbing. My fatty liver is getting better, cholesterol too, in spite of the fats added to my diet. My eyesight too. No more puss coming from my toes, no fungal infections anymore either. I pee a LOT less than I did. If you don't have any problems yet... Then keep it that way! It's an oppertunity, not an "I'll deal with it when/if it comes" thing. You've got a chance here to not have your body and quality of life ruined. Sorry if I'm coming on strong, but... Obviously you're loved. I don't low carb for myself, I do it for my husband. I lost my fiancé 21 years ago, and I don't want Kornelis to go through the kind of mourning I did back then. That's my motivation right there. Because honestly, I don't care about myself. I care about his happiness though, so... Low carb it is.

    Diabetic complications aren't subject to "if". They're firmly "when", unless you do something about it. Really. No joke. No scare tactics. Just the truth.

    As for where to start; bacon and eggs with mushrooms and cheese. Salads with tuna, salmon or bacon. Cheese. Pork scratchings. Real butter, cream, full fat greek yoghurt. Olives. Meat. Fish. Cauliflower or broccoli rice. Above-ground veggies. Ditch anything wheat-based like bread or cake. Potatoes, rice, corn, pasta, cereal, fruit. (Most of us can handle berries, but that's about it.). It's doable, really it is. Check dietdoctor.com or this place's low carb program for ideas.

    Sorry if I seem harsh. But only trying to help, so I hope you'll forgive me. Good luck!
     
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  7. Crocodile

    Crocodile Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Wish I could push agree a few more times.
     
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  8. Prem51

    Prem51 Type 2 · Expert

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    Welcome to the forum @M6CEB, it's good that you have joined. And welcome to @Kayleigh1008 too and well done for getting your husband to join.
    Matt your readings are high. You might think that weeing frequently is not a big problem, and that your vision and limbs are fine. But if you don't take action now there is a cumulative effect. Your thicker sugary blood will cause more sugar to accumulate at the lowest point of gravity, your feet, and behind your eyes. It is going to affect those first, and other internal organs you can't see.

    If you just keep relying on medication to 'fix' the problem, your blood glucose will get worse, you will probably need increasing amounts of medication. Possibly eventually insulin injections - that's what shocked me into taking action as I have an injection phobia.
    And yes Type 2 diabetes can lead to death through strokes, kidney or heart failure. It is that serious.

    You say you don't know where to start. Well start by reading through the threads on this forum. You will see that many of us (including me) have lowered our blood glucose into non-diabetic levels by adopting a Low Carbohydrate High Fat (lchf) approach to eating. Basically it means cutting out or drastically reducing sugary drinks (and beer) and sugary starchy carbohydrate foods like bread, potatoes, pasta and rice. There are alternatives.
    And if you like sweets and ice cream there are non or low sugar alternatives for those too - try OPPO ice cream which I like!

    It does take a bit of time to get your head around it all, but ask any questions you want. The people on here are friendly and supportive.
     
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    #28 Prem51, Jun 25, 2018 at 6:50 AM
    Last edited: Jun 25, 2018
  9. M6CEB

    M6CEB Type 2 · Newbie

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    Thanks for all your advise guys it really means a lot! I of course don't think anyone is being harsh at all!

    I really honestly didn't think it was a big deal! My biggest hurdle will be finding what to eat. I'm the world's most fussiest eaters, I know a lot of you will say suck it up and just sort you sh,t out but having Aspergers dosnt help i am so used to eating the same very few meals and have done throughout my life so that's goin to be something I really will struggle with.

    I will read through the forums and see what I can eat and take it from there. I don't want to die.!

    I appreciate everyone that's commented and I really thank you for all the help you have given :)
     
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  10. bulkbiker

    bulkbiker Type 2 · Oracle

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    Have a look at some of the meal ideas on www.dietdoctor.com and see if anything appeals.. loads of great ideas there.
     
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  11. M6CEB

    M6CEB Type 2 · Newbie

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    I've just taken my blood reading and it's 9.8 I've only had a brew and 2 Weetabix? ***? And I've taken my metformin
     
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  12. bulkbiker

    bulkbiker Type 2 · Oracle

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    weetabix are pretty high carb.. eggs and bacon aren't.. I know which I prefer..
     
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  13. Diakat

    Diakat Type 1 · Expert
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    Great to have you here @M6CEB
    2 Wheetabix will be over 30g carbs. Did you test before and 2hrs later to see the change?
     
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  14. mike gibson

    mike gibson LADA · Active Member

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    I’ve been diagnosed t2 less than a year, and like you the initial first few weeks I thought the metformin would help keep my bg down and only moderately altered my diet...after first 3 months HbA1c only came down from 95 to 83 so up to 4 metformin a day...another 2 months go by and the HbA1c only drops to 80 so then gliclazide is added to the mix... and from that moment I realised that I had to work on the diet... I’m a slim 9st 8 so was wary of the low carb diet but with the high fat I’ve managed to stay at this weight...what I have noticed is a dramatic reduction in my bg numbers...whereas before I’d be constantly in the double digits 11/12/13 I’m now around the 6/7 range and feel so much better than I did last year..more energy, not needing the loo every 5 mins etc I like you enjoyed my morning weetabix until I realised the amount of carbs it has and what it was doing to my bg numbers... these days I start the days with an omelette and bacon or poached eggs and actually find that keeps me fuller for longer than the weetabix did... with the excellent advice on here And diet doctor I’ve ditched cereal,bread, rice, pasta and cakes and biscuits... there’s many alternatives for a rich and varied healthy diet.. your body will thank you for it... it took me a few months I’m slowly getting there and hopefully my next blood appointment will see a significant drop on my HbA1c and I’m fully expecting the nurse to attribute that success to the tablets whereas I’ll be explaining the benefits of a low carb diet... good luck and with the help and support on here you will get there...
     
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  15. srobertson06

    srobertson06 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Do keep dipping into the site and read lots of posts - it does help.
    I agree with what has been said already and I consider myself work in progress.
    My tolerance of any carbs is low and I do struggle to keep it low - what is going on in your life can impact the control I have personally found.
    Ditching the carbs is hard - some seem to find it easier than I do and eating any carbs for me triggers the desire for more but I cannot avoid all carbs.
    I cannot tolerate any cereals - so Full Fat Natural Greek Yogurt is my daily breakfast except for right now - I have a gum problem which is causing me quite a bit of pain and anything hot or cold makes it 10 times worse - so right now a lot of fasting going on for me.
    Lunch is often a salad - right now it has to be room temperature but again that is the gum problem.
    Evening Meal - this I find the hardest meal of the day -- I adore curry but I hate cauliflower rice - so for me on my path I mix 50/50 half cauliflower cut into small pieces and half basmati rice.
    Snacks - often cheese or nuts

    Hope some of the above might help you but always try and remember that we are all different so what works for you is personal - I have read peoples posts on how quickly they got their reading down but I promise you we are not all like that.

    The only other thing I would add is buy yourself a meter and test strips - NHS do not provide and it is an essential piece of equipment to help us all learn about where we are on our road to good health - it is worth the money and I don't think it is that expensive but it has helped me to work out what I can and cannot eat and believe me when I say some things I have eaten thinking they would be fine only to find out 2 hours later that I was wrong and the impact on the sugar levels was bad news but hat I not tested I would not have known.
     
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  16. Crocodile

    Crocodile Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Lose the wheetabix. Read the label on the box and will tell you how many carbs it contains. Then allow for the carbs in the milk. Remember that sugar is a carb and needs to be counted. By the way, are you overweight. This too has a big impact on blood glucose control. If so, lose the tummy. I know it sounds easy to say. I've been down that road. The great thing about having a low carb diet is that it easy to lose weight.
     
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  17. JoKalsbeek

    JoKalsbeek Type 2 (in remission!) · Well-Known Member

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    Aspergers makes dietary changes more difficult, and no-one here will tell you to suck it up, I don't think. I haven't been able to use any cow milk based products for years, and a lot of low carb staples trigger migraines for me, so it really is a puzzle, but I got there in the end. Good thing being, you don't get bored of repetitive foods it seems, so once you find something that works for you, you won't get sick of eating it! You have a support system at home, which hopefully will make things easier for you. I know my husband's support has been invaluable to me, especially when I started this journey 2 years ago. And if you have questions, ask them.
     
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  18. ringi

    ringi Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Does he like steak? If so, give him lots of it. Likewise cooked.
    breakfasts.
     
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  19. AloeSvea

    AloeSvea Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I'm trying this out as a simplified explanation (Feedback welcome): Type two diabetes is a metabolic dysfunction. Metabolic dysfunctions can be aided with medication, which can help with the symptoms, but the only way to fix metabolism malfunctions is by changing your metabolism. And that is by food (and drink), and to some extent (and to what extent differs between individuals) - physical activity.

    @M6CEB, as you are an Asperger - would you not find tracking your HBA1c and daily blood glucose readings with food and drink satisfying/gratifying? Drawing up graphs etc? I say this as someone with an obsessive personality :) with many Asperger/neuro-diverse friends.

    I understand that it can be exceedingly hard for neuro-diverse folk to change routines, but the what-food-you-eat routine is one that, with type two diabetes, badly needs changing if you are going to live the healthiest and longest life possible. I agree with posters above who say your life will change along with eating-and-metering, when you see how the food you have been eating is contributing to your current metabolic malfunction.
     
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