help with 5 yr old tantrums

[serankine]

Hi just wondered if any one has any advice. :?:


My daughter has reached the age where she thinks she knows best, and argues over anything.
When she is then told off and cries she gets so upset it sends her blood sugars low.

She had a tantrum the other day that lasted for 20 minutes about not wanting to go to bed. Then she dropped down to 1.9

Now i'm scared when i tell her off and she cries for over 4 minutes incase she goes low. I dnt want her turned into a spoil brat but i dnt want her ill either.

If any one has any advice please can i have it. Thanx

 

[donnellysdogs]

A few times I have had to lie down on the floor and have a tantrum myself..whilst children have had tantrums - they didn't know what to do and stopped sooner rather than later....a bit extreme I know....one of the tantrums in particular was by a young lad and prior to his mother calling me he had threatened her, had started throwing stools and chairs around and I was called by Mum becuase she was actually scared...I think young lad was either 6 or 8...he was still tantrumming when I got to house, so I laid on floor whee he was by this time screaming his head off and shouting...and did exactly the same....he went quiet within 2 mins max.....then we went up to his bunk bed and had a talk...

Done it a few times, and in public as well but the children are friends children...not my own..I haven't got any....that is my only experience of finding a way of stopping a tantrum without bribery or promises on my behalf......well,,,I do make promises when they stop that we can go and talk about it....etc

I know another lady had a brilliant way of handling tantrums on this website but can't find the posting.....I expect they will be along later....

 

[SophiaW]

Are you sure that your daughter isn't low before the tantrum starts? Or perhaps she is experiencing a rapid drop (on the way to being hypo) in blood sugars which triggers a tantrum. My daughter becomes very emotional if she gets a low blood sugar. A rapidly falling blood sugar, even if she isn't yet hypo, can cause similar feelings to having a hypo. Also, different people experience hypo symptoms at different levels. I've heard some people feeling hypo at anything below 4.5 mmol/l while others can go quite a bit below 4mmol/l before feeling hypo.

 

[leggott]

Could it be that she is low already and that this is the reason for her behaviour, rather than the tantrum sending her low. I know that when my children are moody this can often mean they are low. Now days we normally get them to test their bg if they are acting a bit moody as I have in the past given them a good telling off and then felt terribly guilty when we have realised that their bg is low!

 

[serankine]

hi thanks for advice so far.

We tested her BG before bed and she was 7.4 , But because she didnt want to go to bed and then started crying she wanted to come down stairs/ read another book etc just being stuborn after 25 minutes crying she then said she didnt feel well and she was 1.9 but yet she was fine before we put her to bed.

So im so nervous now when she has a normal tantrum or we tell her off for something that it is going to send her low, since then she has sweets / sugary drink to bring her up so Leah thinks its great ( when only mild).

 

[leggott]

Does this happen with every tantrum? it might be worth keeping a diary for a while to see if you can rule out other reasons for the fall.

it is very difficult as at that age they are clever enough to know how to get their way. if you back down every time you think she will have a tantrum then she will learn how to manipulate you. I guess you might have to find a way of diffusing the tantrums quickly before they result in a fall ( if they are the culprit).

The things that worked for my kids have been reward charts for good behaviour, ignoring bad behaviour and taking away toys. Perhaps if you can work out what works with her you will be able to avoid or reduce the number and length of the tantrums.

 

[Jen&Khaleb]

Do you give a supper before bed? What happened when she came out of bed? When it comes to bed it is better to not say a word, test bsl to be sure, lead them back to bed and walk away. If you keep doing this several times she will get the message that you aren't going to argue with her or give her any attention. My son came out of bed last night and I just ignored him and he put himself back to bed.

I think I would try to predict when the tantrums could come and already have the carbs on board to deal with it. It might mean some higher figures every now and again but it would give you a chance to break the behaviour. I am a great believer in ignoring bad behaviour and rewarding good behaviour. It is hard to be a tough parent but it pays off at the end. Besides Khaleb, I have a 16 yr old who is polite and respectful. He never speaks back to me but I do not yell at him either. I can be a bit of a nag with school work and getting him to clean up his room but he's got a bit lazy with teenager brain.

When kids are little it is really good to put them in enough fun situations that they don't feel like they are being berated all the time. Go to the park, play with them and wearing them out makes for good behaviour. They eat better, sleep better and behave better. Another good thing to do is not ask your child questions - especially ones that can be answered with NO.

Hope this helps. There are lots of ways to avoid or remove tantrums but you need to find what works for you. The blood sugar you just have to deal with day to day.

 

[serankine]

thanks so much for all your help. :wink:

We try the trick of putting her to bed with out saying nothing.
It is actually the cryign that brings her down she gets so worked up.
I also think its because our bond at the moment is so close she wants to sleep in our bed (think since i was there when in hospital and i work at the school where she goes so i deal with all her medication). so we are really close.

Hopefully its just a blip. Apart from at night she normally is ok we use the naughty step and can do her BG there if she feels ill but doesnt move from the step.
Tonight we put her to bed 4.6 crying and we tested again and was 4.9 the after crying 15 minutes said she had belly ache then was 4.4 so dropped again.

I am trying to get my husband more involved with Leah even just taking her out to the park pr playing board games, she is such a mummys girl.

Think we will keep a dairy we are on the pump so it does keep all her results and rang the d.nurses for advice.
Thanks if you have any more help please pass on.

 

[nicolaknight86]

hi, my little girl is 4 and is also very good at getting her own way!
I have to say I truly believe that the children are the best judge on how they feel, my little girl would not go to sleep if her bloods are on there way down! she would argue a lot and even test her own bloods!
I do see a negative effect on her behaviour if she is near hypo so i tend to test her rather than question it, but also she can have massive tantrums if her bloods are high
I also work in my little girls school, have since she started although I do not actually see her a lot throughout the day, my question is, do you have to deal with all her medication or is there somebody else who would be willing to take this on?
I have never done jazmins medication or bs at school as my dsn's wanted the school to take this on (luckily they agreed) I am on site if there are any problems.
anyway my daughter seems to have become more independant and has a lovely bond with her key worker who normally gives her her insulin (there are 4 members of staff trained). Im not sure if she would have settled so well if she had seen me everyday, I hope you get the tantrums sorted

 

[serankine]

Thankx for your help. I worked at the school before leah started.
The T.A in Leahs class use to do her bloods (when she was on 2 injections aday). But then Leah went onto the 4 injections the T.A would still do her bloods but i would do her injection, Then june she moved onto the pump now i do everything. The nurses are going to train 2 staff to use the pump in september so i will be there but in the back ground. As you cam see since november 2010 we have changed an awful lot but she now lovesthe pump so hopefully this is here to stay.