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Helping a colleague

H

Huffers

Member
Messages
9
Hello.

I hope this doesn't come off as prying into someone else's affairs, but I'm a bit concerned about someone I work with. We're both freelance film crew and as such we don't work together every single day. This is someone I see relatively frequently but there's no corporate structure involved which makes things complicated.

A colleague of mine - let's call her Susie - is in her late 20s (I'm ten years older, we are not a couple.) Until about six months ago, Susie seemed perfectly healthy. Since then, we have had several incidences of her turning up late, which is an absolutely disastrous no-no in the field as it potentially holds up a very expensive day of work. She is constantly tired and her work is suffering, to the point where people are starting to moan about it and I am being asked not to schedule her because people are assuming she's out partying until 3am, though that would be very out of character. I can't avoid the fact that she seems constantly exhausted though she claims no problem sleeping. On top of this, when we are working, she's never around, and the place she'll be is either snuffling around after bottles of water, or in the bathroom. The amount of time this woman spends peeing has started to generate comment too. She has always been slim but is now so skinny that again, people are starting to worry.

All of this could be caused by a huge number of things, and I didn't think about anything in particular until yesterday afternoon when she was slouched in the front seat of her car covered in sweat, when it wasn't particularly hot, with huge dark circles under her eyes, looking like absolute death, and when she spoke to me I got a face full of what I can only describe as "pear drop breath." I had no idea it could be that noticeable, but it was absolutely obvious. We sent her home (she drove herself, to my horror) but I can't do much more than that.

So I think it's fairly clear what's going on here, and I have a feeling that Susie probably does as well. I can understand her being resistant to the situation. I doubt she would be able to keep working on film crews. The schedule is often long and unreliable without any real access to a controlled diet. You get what you get, when you can get it, and you won't know when or for how long you will be working. This would probably be the end of a very tough career to get into and it would be a personal disaster for anyone.

Obviously I could be wrong. I just fear for her safety if I am right. Can anyone suggest an approach I might make? I am somewhat aware of what will eventually happen to her if she just ignores it.

Thanks

Huffers
 
Hello @Huffers That's a wonderful thing to care about someone else so much as you do and to try and see what could be ailing them and to help.

From the list of symptoms it does sound very much like a type 1 diagnosis, to compare notes, my symptoms upon being diagnosed were weight loss, extreme peeing, drinking, lethargy, thrush, dry mouth, smelly breath, also dry skin. It didn't quite hit the mark until I was actually sat in the GP's surgery writing down my list as it was so long and at that point the penny dropped, I don't think it dropped previously because I was so tired I couldn't think straight never mind put 2 and 2 together.

As a concerned friend I would take her straight to her GP to get her seen, if it's not type 1 then at least she's on the radar and can be monitored to rule out any other possibility. If it is then it can be managed and even an unconventional lifestyle can be managed as there are lots of tools available to help type 1's live a 'normal' life such as continuous glucose monitors and insulin pumps, so this isn't a doom and gloom prognosis, but if i was feeling this ill again I would certainly like to feel alot better than I did, it's only once you get insulin therapy do you realise how poorly you were, best of luck, please let us know how you get on
 
@Huffers Yes, that could be Type 1 but it could also be a number of other things, some physical, some emotional (ie are the toilet visits an excuse to have some privacy?)

I'd speak to her and mention you're concerned and if that doesn't work, see if there's someone more superior or closer to her who could have a word.

There no reason why people with Type 1 can't be a member of a film crew, by the way. We don't need 'special' diets and imsulin regimes allow you to,eat at odd times or skip meals if needed.

Finally, tread cautiously and be sensitive. There could be something else entirely going on.
 
It was an acquaintance of mine that said to me 'hope you don't think I'm being rude, but you don't look very well and I think you need to get checked out'. Late onset type 1 and the doctors were surprised I was still functional my bloods were so bad.

So say something tactfully - sometimes people just need that little push to make them feel that they aren't going to be wasting their GP's time.
 
@Juicyj and @azure is there any reason why you have not mentioned Type 2?
I thought the symptoms for type 1 and type 2 are pretty much the same ... although type 2 may have been going on for longer.
 
Hi @Huffers. Susie is lucky to have a good friend like you who is concerned about her. If, as you say, she probably knows there is something wrong, she shouldn't be upset if you talk to her about this. It might not be diabetes, we aren't doctors and there might be other conditions that lead to the symptoms you describe.
But if she fears, or it does turn out to be diabetes, whether Type 1 or Type 2, it can be managed and diabetics are able to work in demanding careers. People often think that being diabetic means your feet are going to be amputated and you are going to have complications. That is what I thought. But these complications are only likely to happen if the diabetic doesn't take control of the condition.
The first step is a medical diagnosis. You have to persuade Susie that she really does need to talk to her GP about how she is feeling.
 
Hi @helensaramay - pear breath can indicate ketones and weight loss - both are typical signs of type 1, it can be seen in type 2 but it is alot rarer. The timescales being talked about her could mean slow onset though.
 
helensaramay said:
@Juicyj and @azure is there any reason why you have not mentioned Type 2?
I thought the symptoms for type 1 and type 2 are pretty much the same ... although type 2 may have been going on for longer.
Click to expand...

Because I took the OP to be implying they thought 'Susie' had Type 1 (ketone breath, weight loss)
 
@Huffers , I would forget about tact and diplomacy and tell her to go to hospital right now. Take her if you can. It sounds like she is heading towards an acute medical emergency. Your description has too many parallels with my diagnosis.

Sure, we're not doctors and it might be something else entirely, but those symptoms you describe, exhaustion, weight loss, drinking, peeing, pear breath, are classic strong indicators of T1.

The inevitable consequence of untreated T1 is death. If she has pear breath and has lot a lost of weight, it means her body is being pickled in acetone at the moment, and she might not be too far away from full on ketoacidosis where her organs will simply give up the fight against body chemistry being messed up, and she will die shortly thereafter without treatment.

I'm not saying that to scare you, but to drive home how serious this. Many T1s get diagnosed early on these days because they've googled the symptoms and gone to see their doc early. But there was no internet 30 years ago. I got all those symptoms back then, thought it was just a bug, would go see the doc when I'd finished my final exams. Got through the exams, my dad came to pick me up the next day, took me straight to hospital, got misdiagnosed with exam stress, sent home. Got taken back the next day unconscious, full on diabetic ketoacidosis. My parents were told that if they hadn't stuck their heads in the door to check me before they went to work, I would have been dead by the time they got home.

I'm explaining that to illustrate how it is possible for a person to limp along with untreated symptoms for a while, thinking, nah, it'll clear up, but then in the end stage, where the blood simply becomes too acidic, and the organs just call it a day, it becomes a life or death situation in a matter of hours.

You've said that she has had symptoms for several months now. It seems it's getting worse. My worry is that she might be reaching the final showdown, as it were, with DKA. I could be completely wrong of course, but I wouldn't take the risk.

Please, don't beat around the bush with here: get her to hospital.
 
Hi @Huffers ,

Welcome to the forum.

Get your friend to the doctors. Plain & simple!

By the way?! It is perfectly possible to work & function on a film set as a Diabetic..
I've done long hour shoots in the past. & as a modest "extra" (protocol dictates) one gets in line at the catering area after the film crew & cast..
 
Hi folks

Thanks very much for the advice. You all seem to be suggesting that, at least, my line of thinking is not completely crazy, which is what I wanted to confirm before I went to Susie with this.

The problem with this is that I am a friend and colleague and at least notionally her boss (a head of department in film and TV terms.) I am not her parent or romantic partner, and even if I were we're talking about an adult woman and I am not in a position to make her do anything. There's almost no way I can raise this subject without being told to get lost and mind my own business, and she'd have a point.

I guess the other way to look at it is that it is my business if it's affecting her work, and at some point if nobody wants to hire her, then she's going to lose that work regardless. Going down that road does seem likely to cause a lot of stress and aggravation, though.

Finally, Scott, yes, I get it, I am aware of the endgame here and I have read the accounts, in the days before effective treatment, of parents having to watch their diabetic kids slip into a coma and die. Given how hard it was to wake her up yesterday I don't think it was necessarily sleep as much as unconsciousness and she was groggy and confused for a long time afterwards. I'm as worried she's going to kill herself driving as anything else.

Unfortunately I'm torn between the desire to be discreet and the reality that, as someone said, there isn't really another superior person I can go to. The person someone would go to about Susie is me, in both a practical and official sense. I know she lives alone and I've never heard about parents, so it's tricky. I've nobody else to talk to.

Thanks again

Huffers
 
@Huffers, Susie will know something is wrong but possibly thinks it will go away.

I was diagnosed in November, almost 39 years ago, but had suspected I was diabetic since March or April. I mentioned my suspicions to one of my brothers and his wife. He laughed and told me that they drink loads during the day, especially coffee which is a diuretic, hence lots of toilet visits. I was persuaded that all was well and didn't visit the doctor till October, when I'd had to leave my classroom on several occasions, to run to the toilet (leaving classes without a teacher in the room).

I don't know what my breath smelled like but the ketone level was high. The consultant I saw said that I wasn't far from going into a coma.

Please speak to Susie and ask her to see her GP. She might not be diabetic but there is obviously something wrong.
 
@Huffers Why don't you just make a discreet comment to her about your concern. IF I saw a colleague who looked ill, I'd say something to them.
 
I'd have wanted to know. A couple of people told me after diagnosis and returning to normal life I had suddenly looked unwell and not my usual self. If they honestly thought that I'd have liked to have known because I didn't see it myself and beyond a bit of tiredness felt generally fine. Please talk to her, you clearly have enough concern for her to post this topic and look for confirmation of your sudpicions.

The people at A&E were surprised I was conscious after looking at my notes and running their tests when I went in despite me taking a detour on the way to park my car up and get a lift there. I probably wasn't thinking very straight at that time.
 
I think I'd want to know, too, especially as she is driving while obviously unfit to do so. I'm sure she would hate it if she caused an accident and injured other road users.

How about mentioning it to her in a down time situation - over a coffee or drink - she might be really worried about feeling so ill and be glad of someone to talk to about it.
 
Huffers said:
Finally, Scott, yes, I get it, I am aware of the endgame here
Click to expand...

Huffers said:
There's almost no way I can raise this subject without being told to get lost and mind my own business, and she'd have a point.
Click to expand...


Huffers, if we go on the assumption that what you've told us about Susie's condition is correct, there's strong indicators there that she's not that far away from dying.

If, as you say in your post #12, you understand the endgame here, which is Susie dying, I've got a lot of difficulty squaring your concerns with your reluctance to mention it to her just because you might be given a hard time.

I was in a Susie type situation for quite a few weeks before dx. I would have loved it if someone had just had the courage to sit me down, knocked me around the head, told me to go see a doctor.

You've signed up to a diabetic website for advice about a colleague you're concerned about, you've been told there's a fair chance she might be end game, heading towards fatal DKA and should see a doctor now or she might die. It's up to you whether you tell her that or not. Niceties really don't come into it.
 
If you are Susie's boss - even if just notionally then you have some responsibility for her - allowing her to go on in the same way day after day - particularly now that you have been advised that she could be very seriously ill - is no longer an option. The sooner she gets encouragement to visit her doctor the better - and if she should show signs of things getting worse then she should be taken to A & E not be allowed to go home, as that could be disastrous.
 
I take your point.

I suppose the boss thing is actually useful. It gives me a reason to go and talk to her, as opposed to just being a nosy friend. In some ways I'm being the good guy by taking this to her, because otherwise she'll simply see all the work dry up and that'll be even worse.

In all honesty, the reason for my cowardice is that I don't particularly want to be the guy who made her confront this potentially life-ruining bad news. As I say, she's not an idiot and she probably at least suspects, but I'd hate to be forever associated with this situation and be seen as the one who made it impossible to deny, if you see what I mean.

I'll see her tomorrow. If there's a chance, I'll have a word.

As to work, the reason I fear for Susie is that I have had two new entrants to the industry in the past tell me they were diabetic, both young women straight out of college. In both cases they they happy to swear on any available deity that they'd be fine, and in both cases they lasted about a week before finally admitting that they couldn't keep all their mathematics straight on such a strange schedule. Of course it's likely that I've worked with people who simply never mentioned it, especially having worked in the USA where every third person seem to be begging for type 2, but I have seen it cause problems.

Naturally it's up to the applicant but I would be very cautious about it.
 
Personally if I saw someone with altered consciousness and looking as ill as you describe, I would seriously consider calling an ambulance.
 
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