Helping a colleague

[Huffers]

We would have if she'd have let us.

 

[4ratbags]

You could also direct her to this site in the hope that she might take your concern seriously.

Sent from my SM-G955F using Diabetes.co.uk Forum mobile app

 

[Circuspony]

I take your point.

I suppose the boss thing is actually useful. It gives me a reason to go and talk to her, as opposed to just being a nosy friend. In some ways I'm being the good guy by taking this to her, because otherwise she'll simply see all the work dry up and that'll be even worse.

In all honesty, the reason for my cowardice is that I don't particularly want to be the guy who made her confront this potentially life-ruining bad news. As I say, she's not an idiot and she probably at least suspects, but I'd hate to be forever associated with this situation and be seen as the one who made it impossible to deny, if you see what I mean.

I'll see her tomorrow. If there's a chance, I'll have a word.

As to work, the reason I fear for Susie is that I have had two new entrants to the industry in the past tell me they were diabetic, both young women straight out of college. In both cases they they happy to swear on any available deity that they'd be fine, and in both cases they lasted about a week before finally admitting that they couldn't keep all their mathematics straight on such a strange schedule. Of course it's likely that I've worked with people who simply never mentioned it, especially having worked in the USA where every third person seem to be begging for type 2, but I have seen it cause problems.

Naturally it's up to the applicant but I would be very cautious about it.

The lady who told me to get checked out wasn't a close friend and I definitely don't hold it against her!

I don't think you need to be making such a big deal about this. I've managed large teams of people all my life and am forever dealing with their medical and life issues. A quiet word and encouragement to go to the GP is all that's needed. Just say that she seems exhausted and you would really like her to get checked out - it's for the GP to diagnose whether or not it's diabetes.

Bit early to panic about whether or not she can do her job.

Sent from my SM-J500FN using Diabetes.co.uk Forum mobile app

 

[azure]

We would have if she'd have let us.

But you can still speak to her about your worries for her health.

I don't understand why you won't do this.

Nobody here can say whether she has diabetes or not. As I sad, there could be other reasons for her problems. So just have a friendly chat about your concerns and see what happens rather than jumping to conclusions.

 

[Juicyj]

As a boss you do have a responsibility to turn her away as being unfit for work, from a health and safety aspect as she could endanger others, either you face her with this situation or say to her that she can only come to work once she has seen her GP to get's a clean bill of health, either way she needs to know the severity of this situation, rather than playing out 'what if's' in your mind - you are doing her a huge favour by acting responsibly for her, doesn't sound like anyone else is ?

Hope this get's sorted today, from the sound of it, the sooner the better. I know when I was ill prior to diagnosis I didn't have a clue and was in fact quite pig headed, so it does need a father figure/boss to take this situation in hand and do the right thing for her, good luck.

 

[slip]

If as we all suspect she is very near the 'endgame' and you don't at least speak to her about this, tomorrow you could be wondering why she hasn't turned up for work...........worse case - she's lying dead at home.

She is obviously ill, take her to a&e today, there are no excuses not to, life is more precious than a film shoot or a career or anything else!

 

[Huffers]

I'm going to meet her in about half an hour. Here goes nothing...

 

[Deb1million]

Huffers, please don't worry about the guilt of being the one to tell her she should get to hospital, but think how you will feel if she doesn't come in to work one day and you get told that she died? Please just tell her of your concerns. I'm a former HR manager, and I'd tell my co-workers in a heartbeat if they looked as poorly as Susie.

 

[Snapsy]

@Huffers , I became acutely ill - not with the diabetes - while working abroad and was exhibiting some very scary symptoms which I had been determined to ignore.

I thank my lucky stars that a colleague arrived at work one morning, asked if he could have a word with me outside, suggested with quite some emphasis to get into his car because I needed to see a doctor NOW, and off we went.

I think Susie would do well to consult a doctor urgently. When small changes occur over a period of time, it is often hard for an individual to notice the changes in themselves. You, however, have noticed these changes because you are seeing her more sporadically.

If I were Susie, and you took me to the doctor and in so doing saved my life (as my colleague did) I would be very thankful.

If I were Susie, you took me to the doctor and nothing was found to be wrong, I would be grateful and perhaps a little surprised at the attention. I would still be thankful that someone had my best interests at heart and was wanting me to be okay, even if there wasn't a problem.

Sending a hug. You sound like a very supportive colleague, and I salute you.

Love Snapsy


PS Just noticed you were going to be approaching her yesterday. Hope all's well.

 

[azure]

I'm going to meet her in about half an hour. Here goes nothing...

How did it go @Huffers ?

 

[Huffers]

Thanks for the interest. How did it go? Not very well.

She was late, I called her, she answered sounding as if I'd woken her up at four in the morning, she arrived looking as if she'd just rolled out of bed with a heavy dose of flu.

There are vague plans to see a doctor "around the end of next week" but I'm not sure how serious she was. I'm not sure how capable she is of keeping that sort of appointment at the moment, which is completely out of character. Usually she's sharp as a knife and very quick.

 

[Snapsy]

Oh @Huffers , well done for trying but gosh, what a shame. Would it help to firmly state how extremely worried you are about her medically, and to take to hospital yourself? Although I know that's probably much easier for me to say that it might be to actually achieve.

Have a hug.

To be brutally honest, the last of her (and your, on her behalf) worries should be the potential effect of diabetes on her career. To read what you're saying about Susie's condition I would be in fear for her life.

Top marks for meeting with her and talking to her. I desperately hope that she reconsiders her timescale for getting to the doctor. You've given her some very clear signals, but short of actual kidnap I'm not sure what your next move could be.

 

[Prem51]

@Huffers It does sound as if she might Type1. That can also result in 'brain fog', not recognising the seriousness of her situation.
If she turns up for work in as bad a state as she did when you sent her home, don't let her drive home. Get someone to drive her to A&E, or keep her there and call an ambulance. She shouldn't be driving. If she was drunk you wouldn't let her drive home would you?

 

[Diakat]

And as boss tell her she cannot report for work with your team unless she gets a letter from a doctor saying she is fit to work.
I have sent members of my team home and taken one to A&E following a fainting fit (although he was willing to go).

 

[azure]

Thanks for the interest. How did it go? Not very well.

She was late, I called her, she answered sounding as if I'd woken her up at four in the morning, she arrived looking as if she'd just rolled out of bed with a heavy dose of flu.

There are vague plans to see a doctor "around the end of next week" but I'm not sure how serious she was. I'm not sure how capable she is of keeping that sort of appointment at the moment, which is completely out of character. Usually she's sharp as a knife and very quick.

I still think there's something else going on @Huffers

If she had pear drop breath 4 days ago, she probably wouldn't be functioning now.

If she's unfit for work - for whatever reason - then @Diakat 's idea of a doctor's letter is a good one.

 

[DCUKMod]

So many of the signs the OP suggests do, of course, align with diabetes, however there are other conditions where a presentation of "not looking well", losing weight, dark shadows under her eyes, apparent extreme thirst, an apparent increase in weeing and an apparent inability to participate in her workplace to her usual standards.

From the top of my head there are a few things I could match to that description, with everything from burning the candle at both end, to drug abuse to an eating disorder. Nobody knows, although the young woman herself might be able to narrow the scope a bit.

Whatever the issue, she needs help, but whilst she has capacity. nobody can make her seek or take it. Hard though it may be to witness, if she will not consent to going to A&E, her Doc, a counsellor, or whomever, there is likely to be very little that can be done about it.

In my view there is a fine line between helping her and driving her away because she feels harassed. The sad fact is that if she is effectively sick or self-harming, if she doesn't consent to intervention she has the right to continue down what could be a route to a potential disaster.

It's not an easy one, and almost certainly not something that can be addressed or solved on an online forum. It may be a case of waiting until she is in an acute crisis and her will is broken.

 

[Huffers]

Hi folks

The crisis to which DCUKMod refers happened at about 6.30 yesterday (Sunday) morning. Now everyone involved is treating each other like a human being again, I've been asked not to talk about it online, which I'm going to respect. I have been given permission to say that early signs are that it was what we suspected it was (they didn't have a full lab over the weekend), and it was a matter of "hours not days" until it became very serious indeed.

So thanks, it helped.

Huffers

 

[Snapsy]

@Huffers I am in absolute BITS reading your update - wow wow wow - I'm so so glad you took the steps you did. I'm sorry that she reached crisis point but am so delighted to hear she is being treated.

@therower could I nominate Huffers for your top banana, please?

I can't put it into words, but oh boy, well done.

 

[Huffers]

Are you guys even allowed bananas?

Sorry, sorry, I'll get my coat...

(Edit - I realise this may be taken the wrong way, but I'll plead that it's been a bit of a weekend)

 

[azure]

Are you guys even allowed bananas?

Sorry, sorry, I'll get my coat...

(Edit - I realise this may be taken the wrong way, but I'll plead that it's been a bit of a weekend)

Yes - we can eat anything within reason.

As your colleague has now apparently been diagnosed, maybe you should read up a bit more on diabetes so you can encourage your colleague to continue with her career - and ignore all the myths about diabetes...