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How can I get my wife to understand diabetes ?


When she said she was going veggie I despaired as yet another thing we didn’t have in common any more. But since she’s become an Elephant campaigner ( which I agree with ) she’s been indoctrinated. So far she loves cheese too much to go vegan, as vegan ‘cheese’ is foul.
 
rgs2502 said:
I was then offered pineapple and banana fritters with syrup for dessert which I declined, saying sorry I can’t eat that now. She hasn’t spoken to me since for declining the ‘treat’
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My girlfriend bought me a bought me a box of chocolates last year for Christmas and said I was anorexic because didn't eat them. I did say that maybe I should write to the Guiness book of Records as the worlds fattest anorexic at 14 stone
 
rmz80 said:
My girlfriend bought me a bought me a box of chocolates last year for Christmas and said I was anorexic because didn't eat them. I did say that maybe I should write to the Guiness book of Records as the worlds fattest anorexic at 14 stone
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funny but not funny. My OH bought me a bottle of wiesnowka for Christmas and was shocked when I said I couldn't drink it.
 
To answer the original question, I think that it is sometimes hard for partners to accept that their loved ones have a 'disease', usually because there are no real outward signs and the person looks 'normal'. She needs to understand though that it could easily become much worse if you throw caution to the wind with food. Maybe she is in denial (on your behalf) and therefore took your refusal to join her in the dessert personally. All illogical but I would buy her a book to read or online articles. Tell her you know she means well and that she wants you to 'enjoy' yourself food wise BUT to do so would make you very ill in the long run. Would she ask a peanut allergy sufferer to eat peanut butter or throw a tantrum because a person with a dairy problem wouldn't drink a latte? To me it's the same, you don't eat something you know you are 'allergic' to and as someone with diabetes, you ARE allergic to an overdose of carbs. As I say, it might be that she is hurting at your diagnosis and is trying to 'normalise' things by ignoring the obvious.
 
I’m lucky that my husband is very supportive over my food choices - I had to go practically veggie recently due to a meat allergy and he said he would too, in support. He was delighted with the pack of bacon and dedicated frying pan I gave him for Valentine’s Day, though....

But... and there’s always a but. He thinks I can just have a “day off” and treat myself to whatever on special occasions and handle a spike with insulin. Technically I could, I suppose - but I’m finding a big dollop of carbs plus insulin makes me feel really sluggish so for the sake of feeling well, I’d just rather not. It makes me feel almost as unwell as the foods I’ve become allergic to, so I’m trying to equate it to that when I explain. Like it sounds with your wife, I think he feels it’s some kind of rejection of a treat (gift) he’s offering me, and feels slightly offended because I just don’t want it.

He’s also having some problems with the 100g of fat I’m eating a day. From a family who has suffered with heart problems, he’s had the “low fat” mantra rammed down his throat (literally) all his adult life. He’s coming around now, but it’s conditioning we’ve both had to overcome.

Perhaps talk to her about it in the light of you trying to maintain your health long term so you can continue to be a good husband and father to your family, that it requires sacrifices, but that you’re willing to make them so you minimise the chance of complications. Hopefully, with her prediabetes, she might be more inclined to listen to you if she joins you in what you eat, so she can stop it from developing. Best of luck xxx
 
Hey rgs2502, completely understand where you are coming from as the Hubby bakes all kinds of beautiful treats and gets hurt if I don't indulge..."Just a bit or two"....nope. So hang in there and if she gets upset - her issue, not yours....cold shoulders are hard to bear, but you can!

My biggest concern in all of this is that you say your wife is prediabetic!! Does she not get that the next level is DIABETIC!! NOW is the time for her to get her act together and prevent herself from becoming diabetic....no disrespect to your wife, but perhaps by your being able to say no thank you, makes her feel a wee bit guilty??

If you go to diabetes.co.uk site, or dietdoctor.com, you will finds lots of vegetarian recipes that are also low carb....Maybe you could suggest that you both try them out and you can add some protein to your serving....maybe that would be a way of encouraging her to start taking a bit more control herself and yet help you stay on task...it shouldn't be a war, but a joint venture!! Cheers/L
 
Yes, it is very hard for vegans to eat low carb. Just about everything is high carb. My 2 adult grandchildren have been vegan for 2 years and it worries me to death. They eat so many carbs, far more than I ever did.
 
rgs2502 said:
But since she’s become an Elephant campaigner ( which I agree with ) she’s been indoctrinated.
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It's wonderful your wife is campaigning for the elephants. It's great that people want to eat in ways that involve less brutality and less harm to the planet (though many meat-free foods eg soy do lots of harm). Maybe if a person can control their diabetes/pre-diabetes while eating 100+ grams of carbs a day, they can manage on a vegetarian diet. For someone like me who needs to keep under 20g carbs daily IMO a vegetarian diet is just not realistic.
 
Thank you all for your comments and ideas, it helped me as it took me down after what had been a good few days. I think she thought she’d got us a treat as my son and his gf were eating with us, she wouldn’t touch them and my son tried a bit and didn’t like it, he also stuck up for me after my third no, I’m not eating that.
 

Thank you. She thinks because my bloods are all good now that I can relax a bit, but HBa1c at 48 is on the edge, and I’d prefer to reduce the Metformin if I can.
 
When I stared low carb a work colleague practically tried to force me to eat chocolate cake. After my third no, I started to get cross, but it did make me wonder what the phycology was about forcing food or drink on someone. Is it because you are not the same they think either you are not joining in? Or that if you succeed you will somehow become different?
My husband is kind but a bit blinkered and to get through to him usually I have to be very forceful and rude. After a year of LCHF he has just about go it. I do not eat meat so I eat a lot of quorn and soya mince, I make a batch that last two meals, then I can just add veg. I use oomi noodles in a stir fry with plenty of veg. Soya veg burgers and quorn burgers are good quick low carb swops.
You know your wife best, but I would ask her baldly, do you want me to be ill, or what do you want? Because if I eat all this I will eventually be ill. I find a direct question may cause conflict but it may also make them think about what they are doing and why.
 
What dose of Metformin are you on @rgs2502 ?

At 48 I would have cut or reviewed that after consultation. Why take a drug you might no longer need
 
Mike D said:
What dose of Metformin are you on @rgs2502 ?

At 48 I would have cut or reviewed that after consultation. Why take a drug you might no longer need
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Hi Mike, I’m on 2000mg slow release , I have changed to taking it once a day and would like to cut it back if I can, I haven’t even got a GP appointment after my review, just a Pharmacist and they are really tight on Blood tests too. So I might just try reducing on my own and see how the tests go, I did the same with my anti-depressants and haven’t taken one for 3 years now.
 
rgs2502 said:
Thank you. She thinks because my bloods are all good now that I can relax a bit, but HBa1c at 48 is on the edge, and I’d prefer to reduce the Metformin if I can.
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My husband keeps trying to tempt me to "cheat". I explained to him that I feel better on low carb, I'm doing it for my health and it's not a "diet". I also flatly told him that if I let my BG go too high, it damages my organs. I think he's finally getting it. It is frustrating but keep at it.
 
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