How to help someone with diabetes?

[livm]

Hi everyone!

I was wondering if any of your guys could provide me with some advice. My father was diagnosed with diabetes a few years back (I'm not too sure how long exactly). Approaching the subject with him can be difficult at times as it feels as though he shuts down somewhat. He tends to either ignore, joke or become defensive when I try to discuss with him the severity of the situation. I've tried approaching the situation in various ways too, from calming discussing, getting angry, hinting, being sarcastic, pretending I don't care etc... the list could go on. If any of you have been in a similar situation, how did you handle it? I just want him to know that I have his best interests at heart and that I worry that he isn't taking it as seriously as he should.

Thanks in advance!!

 

[andcol]

I think all you can do is show you care and not nag and let them get on with it. They have to want to do it you cannot force them.

 

[Robbity]

It's their body and their diabetes - so I think you just have to respect their wishes and not push things. But definitely be there if they do need your support.

I certainly don't like my husband suddenly becoming an instant (and ignorant!) expert and telling me if and when I should be testing, or deciding on a whim what I may or may not eat!

Robbity

 

[4ratbags]

Definately be there for him if and when he needs you but as Robbity states there is nothing worse than someone trying to tell you what to do, it can do more harm than good sometimes.

 

[VinnyJames]

Is he married or does he have a partner? It may be worthwhile enlisting the help of someone else to have a look in the cupboards and see what food could be swapped for low carb alternatives.
Quite often things can be changed without a person even being aware that they have been changed - good luck.

 

[o.moore11]

Hi everyone!

I was wondering if any of your guys could provide me with some advice. My father was diagnosed with diabetes a few years back (I'm not too sure how long exactly). Approaching the subject with him can be difficult at times as it feels as though he shuts down somewhat. He tends to either ignore, joke or become defensive when I try to discuss with him the severity of the situation. I've tried approaching the situation in various ways too, from calming discussing, getting angry, hinting, being sarcastic, pretending I don't care etc... the list could go on. If any of you have been in a similar situation, how did you handle it? I just want him to know that I have his best interests at heart and that I worry that he isn't taking it as seriously as he should.

Thanks in advance!!

The most annoying thing about diabetic is being told what to do with your body over and over again, if we have a problem will will come to you not the other way round

 

[Lamont D]

The other half is T2, and having got my condition under control. She responded by eating less carbs, and she realised that having some control is beneficial.
However I have been trying to tell her that the metformin she is taking is making her ill. But she won't have and some words have been said. I usually go slowly but surely work on her even showing her that metformin, can be harmful for some diabetics, because of the side effects, but because I tried to hard, it didn't work. Now I'm upset by my actions that it hasn't worked.
I'm going the doctors with her next time, and hope the doctor backs me.

You have to pick your moments and have a plan to convince them to do something. Forcing someone is not the answer!

 

[Cl1ve]

Hi . Have you tried broaching the subject with the angle that it can be genetic and be past down the family and you would like to learn more about it . So that you can be prepared just in case you get it . Maybe if he thinks he can help you he will be more forth coming . It could be worth a shot

Clive

 

[graj0]

Hi everyone!

I was wondering if any of your guys could provide me with some advice. My father was diagnosed with diabetes a few years back (I'm not too sure how long exactly). Approaching the subject with him can be difficult at times as it feels as though he shuts down somewhat. He tends to either ignore, joke or become defensive when I try to discuss with him the severity of the situation. I've tried approaching the situation in various ways too, from calming discussing, getting angry, hinting, being sarcastic, pretending I don't care etc... the list could go on. If any of you have been in a similar situation, how did you handle it? I just want him to know that I have his best interests at heart and that I worry that he isn't taking it as seriously as he should.

Thanks in advance!!

Not easy. I was diagnosed type II 18 years ago, my father has been type II for at least 30 years. I've never been able to get him to listen to anything I might have to say, so I've given up. He's 88 and I'm hoping that he's doing something right, although not writing down his evening BG while religiously writing down his morning BG because he knows it will be higher, is a bit of a concern.

 

[Molly56]

Not easy. I was diagnosed type II 18 years ago, my father has been type II for at least 30 years. I've never been able to get him to listen to anything I might have to say, so I've given up. He's 88 and I'm hoping that he's doing something right, although not writing down his evening BG while religiously writing down his morning BG because he knows it will be higher, is a bit of a concern.

@graj0 .....I can relate to that....though not my father....plus thinking if he writes down lower figures than the real one will somehow fool the medics.....the only person he is fooling is himself....last nights 20.3 was written down as 14.2....

 

[graj0]

last nights 20.3 was written down as 14.2....

Not good! I wish I knew what makes my dad so set in his ways, possibly his years as station manager at Waterloo makes him think that he knows absolutely everything. Maybe that's a theme, people used to being in charge are less likely to listen? I wonder?

 

[ButtterflyLady]

The other half is T2, and having got my condition under control. She responded by eating less carbs, and she realised that having some control is beneficial.
However I have been trying to tell her that the metformin she is taking is making her ill. But she won't have and some words have been said. I usually go slowly but surely work on her even showing her that metformin, can be harmful for some diabetics, because of the side effects, but because I tried to hard, it didn't work. Now I'm upset by my actions that it hasn't worked.
I'm going the doctors with her next time, and hope the doctor backs me.

You have to pick your moments and have a plan to convince them to do something. Forcing someone is not the answer!

In what way is metformin making her ill? Does she have GI side effects?

 

[SunnyExpat]

Not easy. I was diagnosed type II 18 years ago, my father has been type II for at least 30 years. I've never been able to get him to listen to anything I might have to say, so I've given up. He's 88 and I'm hoping that he's doing something right, although not writing down his evening BG while religiously writing down his morning BG because he knows it will be higher, is a bit of a concern.

If he's 88, and been type 2 for 30 years, I would guess he's doing something right.
Personally, I'd listen to whatever he had to say with that record.

 

[graj0]

If he's 88, and been type 2 for 30 years, I would guess he's doing something right.
Personally, I'd listen to whatever he had to say with that record.

I'm tempted to listen to what he has to say, but I've got this odd feeling that if I followed his example, eating large bars of Cadbury's Fruit and Nut, for example, or regular chinese take aways, I'd be very unwell very quickly.
Maybe the rules all go out the window when you hit 80, I can't wait. LOL
He did have a toe amputated a few years ago because of an infection that he did nothing about. "I'm seeing the foot lady next week" he said, not soon enough I said(we said, mum and 3 siblings). His feet do not look great now. Will he see a podiatrist, only the NHS one, every 8 weeks. Don't know about other people but my feet need attention every 5 weeks, even 6 is pushing it. We're all different though.

 

[SunnyExpat]

I'm tempted to listen to what he has to say, but I've got this odd feeling that if I followed his example, eating large bars of Cadbury's Fruit and Nut, for example, or regular chinese take aways, I'd be very unwell very quickly.
Maybe the rules all go out the window when you hit 80, I can't wait. LOL
He did have a toe amputated a few years ago because of an infection that he did nothing about. "I'm seeing the foot lady next week" he said, not soon enough I said(we said, mum and 3 siblings). His feet do not look great now. Will he see a podiatrist, only the NHS one, every 8 weeks. Don't know about other people but my feet need attention every 5 weeks, even 6 is pushing it. We're all different though.

I don't see one.
My feet are good, I scuff them occasionally on a few stones that get into my footware, they heal ok, (I cut my own nails, so I look at them occasionally), but even at the annual checkup the nurse usually asks if they're ok, and checks the pulse, and they're fine.

 

[chri5]

Hi everyone!

I was wondering if any of your guys could provide me with some advice. My father was diagnosed with diabetes a few years back (I'm not too sure how long exactly). Approaching the subject with him can be difficult at times as it feels as though he shuts down somewhat. He tends to either ignore, joke or become defensive when I try to discuss with him the severity of the situation. I've tried approaching the situation in various ways too, from calming discussing, getting angry, hinting, being sarcastic, pretending I don't care etc... the list could go on. If any of you have been in a similar situation, how did you handle it? I just want him to know that I have his best interests at heart and that I worry that he isn't taking it as seriously as he should.

Thanks in advance!!

I may be missing something here but how do you actually know that he isn`t taking it seriously? It may be that he is coping quite well but chooses to do so privately. In any case, you simply won`t be able to force any lasting changes on to him, he will co-operate willingly or not at all, assuming of course that change is actually needed.