I am back, I was such a fool :(

[coleyd]

Hi everyone

I was initially diagnosed in around 2016 and I went on a reduced carb diet and within 8 weeks was back in the normal range so the diabetes nurse took me off the NHS system as I was ok.

Fast forward to other hba1c being totally normal in range. I was so happy I had lost some weight was still carb counting but not low carb as keto.

Fast forward again to me having my 2nd baby during lockdowns, they told me I had gestational diabetes I was horrified I thought I had "gotten rid" of it all, and so I told them I had been in system as type 2 so they put me back on, I was monitored and made to go on a tiny bit of insulin later in pregnancy (not fun) and after having c section, baby was monitored after birth too for blood sugar, was low etc they gave her glucose I think, and I think this caused me some trauma to be honest as ever since I have ignored it all just in survival mode as a mum and my hba1c 3 years ago just before we moved house /areas was 48, they said it was not too bad then. I lost more weight but not all my weight so I felt like I was maybe around the same or maybe back down a bit.

Then today I am told its 52. I am so upset, I do not even recognise myself due to burnout. I am a full time carer long term and in my early 40s now. I am a sugar addict as I often have no peace to cook during the day and am always starving I also have chronic fatigue syndrome and I carry all my weight on my belly, just under 3 stone to lose and I am going back on a diet now, but the thought is so depressing as its yet another job for me to "take care of myself" let alone the 2 kids I have to care for 24/7 with no "village " to speak of.

I am so sad about all this. I used to be so good and into my health and now I am just a shadow of my former self.

 

[coleyd]

also the first times I was able to get it into remission (I thought it was cured) I was able to eat healthy and nor have sugar in the house a lot but now I have 2 kids with 1 being a very restrictive eater and the eldest having an eating disorder, its like the less they eat the more I eat and it became a sugar addiction for me.

 

[Pipp]

Hi @coleyd .
I understand. It is so difficult to feel you have no time for yourself.
There is a ‘virtual village’ here, and I think members can help. Just want to let you know that your HbA1c of 52 is not so bad that it can’t be improved. You have done it before, so you do have the knowledge on how to tweak your diet. Even though it seems insurmountable. That sugar addiction can be tamed. I would do it gradually, in small easy steps.

Also, there are new medications around now that were not available when you were first diagnosed ten years ago. Ask your GP about these. Also, let your GP know and ask them to register you as a carer. You are entitled to an assessment and help with that, though it can be difficult to obtain. You owe it to yourself to look after your own interests.

 

[coleyd]

Hi @coleyd .
I understand. It is so difficult to feel you have no time for yourself.
There is a ‘virtual village’ here, and I think members can help. Just want to let you know that your HbA1c of 52 is not so bad that it can’t be improved. You have done it before, so you do have the knowledge on how to tweak your diet. Even though it seems insurmountable. That sugar addiction can be tamed. I would do it gradually, in small easy steps.

Also, there are new medications around now that were not available when you were first diagnosed ten years ago. Ask your GP about these. Also, let your GP know and ask them to register you as a carer. You are entitled to an assessment and help with that, though it can be difficult to obtain. You owe it to yourself to look after your own interests.

Thank you. I appreciate that, I am looking for encouragement and motivation, I think that is why I posted. I feel really lonely. My dad has been destroyed by his diabetes he didnt take it serious and ended up with terrible complications. Eyes, insane neuropathy pain that disabled him, the list goes on.

 

[coleyd]

posting again as my reply I think failed lol...

Thank you. I appreciate that, I am looking for encouragement and motivation, I think that is why I posted. I feel really lonely. My dad has been destroyed by his diabetes he didnt take it serious and ended up with terrible complications. Eyes, insane neuropathy pain that disabled him, the list goes on.

 

[ianf0ster]

Hi @coleyd as Pipp says an hba1c of 52 is at a level only just firmly in the diabetic levels and so there are a whole host of options as to how you wish to treat it. Mine was 53 when diagnosed, but many only got the bad news when it was already around 100.
For me low carb was the way to go ( no diabetes medication). I have been in remission for over 6yrs, but was always aware that it's just remission. My GP still lists me as diabetic and I get the annual retinopathy and foot checks - no problems so far.

 

[coleyd]

Hi @coleyd as Pipp says an hba1c of 52 is at a level only just firmly in the diabetic levels and so there are a whole host of options as to how you wish to treat it. Mine was 53 when diagnosed, but many only got the bad news when it was already around 100.
For me low carb was the way to go ( no diabetes medication). I have been in remission for over 6yrs, but was always aware that it's just remission. My GP still lists me as diabetic and I get the annual retinopathy and foot checks - no problems so far.

Thanks, I am just so disappointed in myself. Feels like needing to start from scratch again, suppose it is, but starting from a place of chronic stress and burnout is harder.

 

[Pipp]

posting again as my reply I think failed lol...

Thank you. I appreciate that, I am looking for encouragement and motivation, I think that is why I posted. I feel really lonely. My dad has been destroyed by his diabetes he didnt take it serious and ended up with terrible complications. Eyes, insane neuropathy pain that disabled him, the list goes on.

Keep posting. You have made the right start, by coming back.
Would you be able to make just small, gradual changes to diet, in easy steps? Encourage your children to be involved in food preparation, too? Small steps, but will set them up for healthier eating styles. Will they be back to school soon? Are you carer for a relative, or are you referring to care for your children?
Sorry for all the questions.
Has GP suggested anything? Medication? I would aim for first goal to be to reduce HbA1c to below the threshold for T2 , so get to 48 or below as first aim. Also ask for repeat blood test in about six weeks. Also get a meter or a CGM such as freestyle Libra, which has a free trial, and test BG on waking, before food and two hours after. Keep a record of numbers and what you have eaten. That could help you focus on what you need to do.

Having experienced being in the middle of the ‘care sandwich’ with ill older generation, and young teens, one of whom had additional needs, and being ill myself trying to juggle a career, I do know how hard it can be to seek and perhaps even accept help from others. Sometimes we just need to ask.

 

[Resurgam]

@coleyd I am baffled as to why your nurse decided you were 'cured' and removed you from the register. It should not happen like that.
I find the diet I need to control my blood glucose is not restrictive - other than the carb counting I eat anything - I am famous for it in some circles.
If I eat low carb I can eat more calories than when I was on a 'healthy' diet - it was something Dr Atkins noticed with his clinic patients, that calories don't add up and can be, in effect, negative, so for weightloss it probably isn't necessary to restrict your intake of calories. I lost 12 inches off my waist measurement when I refused to continue using the GPs printouts - I used them to start a barbecue the day after diagnosis.
I find I can cope with everything life throws at me far more calmly when eating low carb. Not only is it harder to remain anxious I have the strength and stamina to cope with long days and relentless housework.

 

[coleyd]

@coleyd I am baffled as to why your nurse decided you were 'cured' and removed you from the register. It should not happen like that.
I find the diet I need to control my blood glucose is not restrictive - other than the carb counting I eat anything - I am famous for it in some circles.
If I eat low carb I can eat more calories than when I was on a 'healthy' diet - it was something Dr Atkins noticed with his clinic patients, that calories don't add up and can be, in effect, negative, so for weightloss it probably isn't necessary to restrict your intake of calories. I lost 12 inches off my waist measurement when I refused to continue using the GPs printouts - I used them to start a barbecue the day after diagnosis.
I find I can cope with everything life throws at me far more calmly when eating low carb. Not only is it harder to remain anxious I have the strength and stamina to cope with long days and relentless housework.

I know she said if I got it down within weeks they can sometimes remove you... I didnt question it I was just happy I had achieved that lol. Now, yeah not so much as it made me not take it as serious eventually. I know I need to get my carbs down, its easier to do if I avoid sugar which I find harder nowdays.

 

[jpscloud]

Whatever happens, keep coming back here - this community is very special. No judgement or preaching, just friendly support. You're an absolute superhero for caring, and raising your children at the same time. Good on you! Don't forget to be proud of yourself.

I was live in carer for my mum who needed round the clock care, and I cannot even imagine also having children to care for as well. I also lost all interest in my own health, so I completely understand what you're going through. I was so exhausted that after mum passed I just remember sleeping day and night for ages.

As @Pipp says, there are medications now that are real game changers - I have been on Mounjaro for a while now and it really has given me my life back. My ridiculous appetite has returned to something like "normal", I'm slowly losing weight, I have more energy, and it doesn't make me feel ill like trulicity and ozempic did. It did make me feel a little bit queasy at times when I first started it, but so worth pushing through. Do have a chat with your diabetic nurse and see what they think. I've heard good things about the new Wegovy tablet as well.

Sending you lots of love x