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I cant deal with this

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ems
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Ems

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My daughter was diagnosed 5 years ago, age 7. We have both found this very difficult to deal with. Every time her sugars are high I get really upset and feel that I have done something wrong. I am still crying all the time - thought it was suppose to get easier. My daughter wont talk about her diabetes and just gets angry if I bring it up. I try to ensure she eats a healthy low sugar diet but this is so difficult when she is around friends that always eat big bags of sweets ( I will let her have a standard bag but shes not happy with that and then gets angry because its her diabetes fault she cant be like her friends). I feel so alone, I have spoken to her diabetes team and saw the team psychologist but as she wont talk about her diabetes she just sat there and shrugged her shoulders. My husband will only do something if I ask him too, If i tell him how upset i am he just says 'she will be ok' and thats the end of the conversation. Her sugars used to be really good and Hba1c's were always 6/7. However over the last couple of months they have been all over the place and no one knows why. We were going to change from Levemir - Lantus to see if this would help but my daughter is refusing to change.
 
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HI. You have my sympathy. There have been many other posters on the forum with teenage children who similarly won't accept their diabetes. There is no magic bullet. I wonder if her friends understand her condition and whether either by discreetly talking to them or thru parents you can get them to help her avoid the worst foods. I don't know whether encouraging your daughter to have better 'sweets' such as 85% dark chocolate, or low-sugar ones would help. I suspect she won't listen. I'm afraid I can't offer any real solution other than providing the most suitable food you can at home and hoping she doesn't go too mad away from home. I assume she injects up to 4 times a day? Does she manage this well and is she on Basal/Bolus? The better she manages the insulin the less damage done by eating sweets.
 
I know this probably doesn't help much but I got diabetes when I was seven, we lived in a sweet shop. My parents would give me a bag of "sweets" which was a sweet bag filled with the pieces of two satsumas. I loved this as I didn't look any different (this was key cos I didn't want to be special) and I loved the sweet taste of satsumas.

In the beginning I gave my parents hell though because in the middle of the night I'd sneak down into the shop and sit on the floor stuffing myself with sweets. It was ages before she found out. I also hated boiled potatoes and mum would find them stuffed down the side of the sofa. I guess what I'm trying to say is diabetes is something you have to go through together. My mum felt awful coming back from the specialist being told off for not controlling my sugars. It's not your fault and it's not your child's so don't take the blame. It helped my mum to chat with other mothers with kids with diabetes. She didn't feel like it was such a mountain to face with the support of a group of people facing the same challenges. She got contacts through the clinics at the time. Blood sugars will go up and down and this will happen despite your best efforts sometimes. You will find a manageable place between you and it's key to explain everything to your child. I'm still around despite my midnight raids.


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Oh Ems - I was a teen when I got it, and it was a big change and I remember not going round to friends houses in those early days as I felt they were scared of me and didn't know what to do, and I was still learning to. I was fortunate enough (gosh welling up a bit here) to have 2 different sets of parents of friends that would weigh out my dinners and work out the carbohydrate for me and have diet drinks in and one set also used to go down to Boots and buy diabetic sweets for me and they used to all eat diabetic sweets (yep the ones that upset your stomach if you have too many….but this was a long while ago) and that made a lot of difference to me. I do wonder whether having a chat to some of her close friends parents my help a bit so she can feel included but the stuff that they have on offer is fun but more suitable to her needs too. I think I was probably a fairly good child with it (have to check whether my Mum agreed) and didn't ever really rebel against it all as the consequences were too scary. I know my Mum and Dad went to the local support group for ages with other parents of diabetics and found that really useful. At the moment on Facebook I keep seeing a Sweet 16 movie, only watched the trailer but it is about teenagers and diabetes - obviously watch it first and see whether it is anything that might help.
 
Hiya,I got diabetes when I was 12 and I'm now 14
Your forum has kind of govern me an insight to how my parents may feel.I also like your daughter don't like and find it very hard to talk about my diabetes and I no my parents find it hard to deal with when I refuse to talk about it with them or when they don't necessarily no how to help without me blocking them out.
Hopefully when your daughter gets older she will realise she isn't too different from her friends and be able to talk to her close friends about her diabetes as I find it easier to talk to my friends.When my parents want to talk to me about my diabetes it's better if it's relaxed and maybe while doing something else so it feels like not all the attention is on talking about my diabetes,maybe this could help?
I hope things start to improve for you and your daughter :)
 
Hi, Ems, maybe you can speak to an organisation like JDRF? They may have ideas, maybe ask for their magazine and leave it around the house? They focus on young people, and also parents, and there are lots of opportunities to get involved, and meet others. Maybe your daughter might make friends with other Type ones of a similar age with similar concerns? I think JDRF also speak at parent groups - may be you or/and your husband may find there is a group near you? I hope things work out , Best Wishes
 
I was diagnosed at 11. I was asked if I would try a pump and I refused. Everytime they tried to add another injection to my routine I refused! I didn't wanna be any different to any of my friends and it's really hard to accept I ignored it all through school never testing my sugars. Maybe find some support groups for kids her age? That probably would of helped me to see I wasn't alone! Don't blame yourself but never give up on her either. I never could and still can't talk about my diabetes to my family none of them really know about it. I'd love for then to take the time to look stuff up and try to help me! What if u make it a challenge to get a certain hba1c and if she can achieve it take her out for a day or do something nice? It's nice to have something to aim for
 
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