I've been dealing with type 1 diabetes for 5 years now, diagnosed when I was only 14. Since I was first diagnosed I haven't been able to motivate myself to do a lot, and it's very stressful on my mental well-being. I basically dropped out of high school (just recently getting my GED), and constantly feel as if I'm in a state of depression. I haven't been able to get any emotional support from my family because I don't feel like they understand why I'm having a hard time. I also constantly get lectured about my laziness and overall-unwilling attitude to do anything. I have an appointment with a psychiatrist later this month, but I'm not sure if I want to go on any antidepressants because I feel like it would lower my self-esteem to think that I need a medication in order to function like a normal human. I've talked to my mother about my depression and even have a therapist that I talk to from time to time, but I don't feel any connection or understanding of my situation. The depression has only gotten worse over time and I have had suicidal thoughts recently. I don't know if anyone can relate to my situation, but it feels rather lonely thinking there's nobody to turn to. If you can help with any advice, that'd be great, thank you.
If Anyone Can Relate, Plz Help.
- Thread starter LockedScreen
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hey i kinda understand what you mean i feel at point diabetes makes me really depressed where i dont talk to anyone family or friends aswell i feel family dont understand how it is to live with diabetes often i will think why did i have to have diabetes
I have suffered from short periods of depression in my teenage / early 20's and i understand it is a very difficult thing to pull yourself out of when you're are down low in the trench. I also never wanted to use any medications to deal with these problems as i felt using insulin was putting enough stuff in my body (not to mention other recreational drugs).
I know there will be people along to help that can relate much better then i can, but one piece of advice i would give you is to try and do one little thing everyday that makes you feel more human and more in control of your situation. One day clean your room. Another day organise your insulin kit. Another day go for a short walk or exercise. Breaking life down into smaller parts makes it feel more manageable and will make you feel better.
I know there will be people along to help that can relate much better then i can, but one piece of advice i would give you is to try and do one little thing everyday that makes you feel more human and more in control of your situation. One day clean your room. Another day organise your insulin kit. Another day go for a short walk or exercise. Breaking life down into smaller parts makes it feel more manageable and will make you feel better.
karen8967
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hi lockedscreen if the phychiatrist prescribes you anti depressants i would take them i wouldnt feel as if i was a failure ,i would feel as if i was taking control of a condition that i needed some help with ,i hope the outcome is a good one and as chris bowsher as said do 1 little thing everyday no matter how small xx best wishes karen xx
I've been in almost the exact same state, same ages even, except I never saw anyone for psychological help or sought out medication beyond insulin. I walked alone, as always, and I eventually moved to a different country by myself to get away from everything and start anew.
JoKalsbeek
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I'm a type two, but I have always had chronic pain, a clinical depression and a personality disorder that basically keeps me house bound, because people scare the heck out of me. I've been suicidal since I was 13, and attempted suicide a few times. It's a minor miracle I'm still here. And you know what? If I could take pills, I would. I have tried repeatedly to take them, from months to years at a time, but various side effects messed with my other medical issues, so I have to go it alone. And I so wish I didn't have to, because sometimes it feels like I'm hanging on by my fingernails. Life'd be easier on my husband too, if he didn't always have to keep en eye out for my panic attacks and whatnot. Meds are *not* faillure. They help get the hormones and chemicals in your brain right. I mean, insulin is a hormone, taking that to get up to normal levels isn't a failure, it's just a way to keep you alive. Psych meds would do the same. Not just keep you alive, but improve the quality as well. As Jenny The Bloggess Lawson states it; "Depression lies". It makes us feel unworthy of help, love, and life even. Get help. Really. It's worth it.
Yesterday was the 21st anniversary of my late fiancé's suicide. I still miss Dougie, and I know he must have felt that checking out was ultimately, doing me and his family a favor. It didn't, it wrecked me to lose him. I didn't function at all for well over a year, and it took many more years to get back to some semblance of normal... Everything was just blackness and pain after he left. He didn't know how much he was loved, and how much he deserved that love. Depression makes us blind to that.
Get help. It's not easy, but there's no shame in it whatsoever.
And hey, if you're a reader; Jenny Lawson's books are hilarious, but do deal with depression very well... And these days, she's prediabetic too, aside from the myriad of other issues that try to kill her, so she may be relatable too. She has thousands of fans, a whole tribe of people who know what it feels like when your body and mind f you over one way or another. You're not alone. Not at all.
JoKalsbeek
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One more thing... As I have to go without meds, I have to find things that I care about, in spite of myself. For me, that's photography. Looking through the lens, I get to reduce how much I see of the world and crowds, so they don't get overwhelming. I go to zoo's (animals are my thing), comic cons(I'm a nerd. And a browncoat, trekkie, constant reader, I'm into more fandoms than I care to think of), royal palaces... Most of the time that also means, this time of year at least, that I catch some vitamin d while I'm at it, being out in the sun. Besides making one less lethargic, it does improve moods somewhat. Try to get out of the house *if* you can. When you stay home all the time, all you end up having for company are dark thoughts, and they tend to multiply. Whatever goes on outside might distract you, if even for 5 minutes, from the predominant feeling you have. It's not much, but well, whatever I do on the weekends, when my husband is around to accompany me, keeps me going while I'm pretty much locked inside with myself for the rest of the week. (House bound, like I said. I don't even go downstairs to get the mail, for fear if running into neighbours). Please look after yourself. You are worth it.
As a very socially anxious and introverted person, this hits close to home. I had a hard time even bringing myself to post this thread, but now that I did I think it was worth it considering how much support I got. I appreciate all of the advice, I'll make sure take it one step at a time.
