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How many of us out there blame ourselves for any diabetic complications they have? how many do not?
I can't help blaming myself even though I know the odds were stacked against me in some ways, I was in denial over my diabetes for many years (getting diagnosed as a teenager didn't help, I was far too young to take on the responsibility and once I had experienced a period of time 'getting away with it' it got harder and harder to pick that responsibility up as the years went by).
However I also had an eating disorder which pre dated the diabetes and felt totally out of control where food was concerned. This lead to under injecting (a form of diabulimia I suppose) which although I was perfectly aware was very wrong, I felt powerless to stop.
This lead to retinopathy, which ironically when my blood sugars were at their lowest (when pregnant) combined with pregnancy hormones, lead to the need for laser treatment.
I do feel guilty, although I also feel the medical profession did not do enough to help me either with the eating disorder or with the diabetes (eg when first put on insulin was told to take set amounts of fast acting, not to carb count or match to meals) and still I feel that I am on my own in many ways as I don't have much faith in the medical profession to understand how hard it can be to manage this condition
I can't help blaming myself even though I know the odds were stacked against me in some ways, I was in denial over my diabetes for many years (getting diagnosed as a teenager didn't help, I was far too young to take on the responsibility and once I had experienced a period of time 'getting away with it' it got harder and harder to pick that responsibility up as the years went by).
However I also had an eating disorder which pre dated the diabetes and felt totally out of control where food was concerned. This lead to under injecting (a form of diabulimia I suppose) which although I was perfectly aware was very wrong, I felt powerless to stop.
This lead to retinopathy, which ironically when my blood sugars were at their lowest (when pregnant) combined with pregnancy hormones, lead to the need for laser treatment.
I do feel guilty, although I also feel the medical profession did not do enough to help me either with the eating disorder or with the diabetes (eg when first put on insulin was told to take set amounts of fast acting, not to carb count or match to meals) and still I feel that I am on my own in many ways as I don't have much faith in the medical profession to understand how hard it can be to manage this condition