I admit to feeling like that sometimes and I haven't got any complications to contend with!!
I have already got a DNR on my life, Will and everything sorted out.
I also have very different thoughts to the majority of persons. I have no wish to have treatment if I get cancer etc. Others would have full treatments to keep going. I wish just to have palliative care only.
I have had DNR's and Wills etc sorted out for years. I have reminders so that I know when to go to GP to get them renewed every 2 years. The only trouble is I have just found out that the DNR at my GP is not registered at the hospital.. I know their computer systems do not talk to each other but I didn't realise that the GP did not forward this to my hospital!!
So yes..in a way... I feel like that but I do care about my health now (and previously) to try to keep healthy.
I think you are going through a **** hard time physically and of course this is naturally going to impact on brain thoughts too.
I was told at diagnosis 30+ years ago that I would be lucky to get my medal at 25 year with diabetes (even harder now they don't give-ir make you buy the medal till 50 years now!) so I guess this stayed in my thoughts and being logical I have always thought of what happens to my family and ben prepared for complications.