Let's have a grumble!

Gruffydd said:

Living in Norwich, I was fortunate enough to participate in a DAFNE course so can count my carbs and adjust my insulin injections accordingly.

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Come on @Gryffydd we're supposed to be grumbling...

Lovin' the thread and, like many others, I've genuinely been there .. done that. Best though, was when next door neighbour brought me over a slab of coconut cake that she had cooked. She knows I'm recently diagnosed T2 but thought that this would be OK because "coconut isn't fattening", (I think she forgot about the cake bit and all it's sugar, cream and frosting)
Once again, it was a case of: listen, nod, smile and say thankyou, ignore .. this time, though, the "ignore" meant that the cake disappeared into the bin as soon as she left
Oh .. and, by the way, I hate coconut

I'm really surprised by these comments. I've been diabetic for nearly 40 years and find that the vast majority of people just accept me declining food without questioning it. What does make me cross though is when someone says 'oh, you're not allowed these' and whips past me with the goodies! I'm also surprised that people here are turning down invitations to go out for a meal or for a treat like afternoon tea. As long as it's not happening all the time, then just count your carbs and inject accordingly.

I don't run into the issue as much, thankfully, but I also have a very small social circle/network so I basically just see my family and some people from my therapy group and that's where it ends lol. At the beginning I did get asked "Can you eat that?" but one explanation later people stopped asking and just started trusting my judgment, especially once they caught on how well controlled I currently am.

I do get offered foods all the time, but nobody fusses when I reject. Half the time I accept so it would be really weird and rude not to offer it to me too. I get asked a lot of questions about diabetes though, and sometimes they compare me to someone else they know with diabetes. "So and so never eats sweets." "I've never seen anyone test and inject as often as you do."

That last one stuck with me. The few diabetics at my group are either on moderately decent control, or totally out of control. (One lady was constantly in the 33mmol/L+ range, how she ended up not going to the hospital mystified everyone. As far as I know she's still up and about with these numbers are never dips below 25.) I've taken it seriously since day one and after checking with everyone in the room if they're okay with me testing and injecting, I just do it in front of everyone. I'm not overly discreet with it so they probably see it a lot more than they would with other diabetics who go into another room (or are shorter than I am and can actually hide that **** beneath the table LOL).

My dad made a comment recently that really annoyed me. "Are you injecting AGAIN?" We had dinner at 7pm together, for which I bolused, but I take my basal at 8pm every night so it seemed like a lot of injections. Instead of asking me why I did that, it felt really... judgmental without the need to know why? It was almost worse than being food policed, to be honest.

Agreed @Posytoes I get far more annoyed when other people decide I'm "not allowed" something. If they say that and whip past me with the plate of biscuits, I'll take two just to make my point

Eldorado said:

Maybe it's like saying you don't drink? I guess not eating sweet stuff or not drinking is outside most people's 'comfort zone' and they don't know how to deal with it. Like you, I'd always prefer a starter to a pudding anyway but I always get the look of puzzlement 'Oh, aren't you having a pudding then?' 'You could have a small portion of ice cream, couldn't you?' And so on.

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That bit about the drinking really struck home with me. I've never really enjoyed alcohol and very seldom have a 'drink'. Years ago at a wedding, someone offered to buy me a drink - I asked for an orange juice (again). "I don't know how you can have the same drink all day"' says he. "Well I don't know how you can drink whisky all day" says me. End of conversation, as he walked away speechless!

Posytoes said:

As long as it's not happening all the time, then just count your carbs and inject accordingly.

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Sometimes eating out can really mess with good control or you have to guestimate how many carbs you eat and it ends up being a lot of work. I'd probably go out more often with friends, or stay for dinner at my parents', if I could accurately count my carbs, but often times going out means greasy foods like fries with the meal, which require 5+ hours of monitoring and extra injections because the food works longer than the insulin for me. It's a hassle and on many days I just prefer not to deal with it.

azure said:

Agreed @Posytoes I get far more annoyed when other people decide I'm "not allowed" something. If they say that and whip past me with the plate of biscuits, I'll take two just to make my point

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I do that too - childish maybe but I won't have other people deciding what I can and can't eat

DaftThoughts said:

Sometimes eating out can really mess with good control or you have to guestimate how many carbs you eat and it ends up being a lot of work. I'd probably go out more often with friends, or stay for dinner at my parents', if I could accurately count my carbs, but often times going out means greasy foods like fries with the meal, which require 5+ hours of monitoring and extra injections because the food works longer than the insulin for me. It's a hassle and on many days I just prefer not to deal with it.

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I know what you mean but, providing it's not too frequently, I'm prepared to do it because I don't want to limit my social life unnecessarily. Also, most places do healthier options so I just try to pick the best choice with the lowest carbs. I'm vegetarian so I'm used to having limited options in restaurants!

At the moment my problem, if thats not too strong a phrase, is that being diagnosed only a few weeks ago, my daughters are at the stage of not knowing what to offer me if I visit. At least they don't press me to have cake and biscuits which I can see would become tiresome! It does have the advantage that they are willing to listen to the explanation about what I need to do, both to lose weight and to remain in control of my situation. I have a couple of friends who have diabetes, one for many years, and I have heard them both mention that some people never quite get the message, so I expect my turn will come!

Juicyj said:

Oh yes - but also I get the opposite from one person in my family who is always happy to say - 'you shouldn't be eating that'..

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oh yes, me too! I have explained my low carb regime to my mother so many times but still......."you cant eat that"!.....well clearly I can as I only eat what I can.....grrrrrr!

When an overweight person comments "you are not allowed" then the best rertort would be "Amazing that you know what I am allowed, but looking at you, you do not even know what is wrong for yourself."

Yep, huge, gorgeous box of Belgian chocolates for me and my husband from a family member at Christmas. Husband really enjoyed them - I felt very hard done by

Here goes! Been there!
In my work place, it is usually cakes for birthdays. And they know I can't even smell one!
So when my birthday came around i brought in a roasted chicken from the local deli.
They were gobsmacked!

Lamont D said:

Here goes! Been there!
In my work place, it is usually cakes for birthdays. And they know I can't even smell one!
So when my birthday came around i brought in a roasted chicken from the local deli.
They were gobsmacked!

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Nice one!
I hope you went for the candles too...?!

Jaylee said:

Nice one!
I hope you went for the candles too...?!

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Where would I put them!

Far too many!

Lamont D said:

Where would I put them!

Far too many!

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Now I wasn't going to suggest that...
But the result would look like something out of a David Cronenberg movie..

I don't have those options: my husband is also diabetic (and my daughter even if she's at home) is lactose and glucose intolerant.