Losing The Plot

PickyChick

Member
Messages
15
Type of diabetes
Type 2
I'm a Type 2 for 11 years. For the last 3 years tablet medication and those new injectables have failed to bring down my HbA1c. I was finally started on Levemir Insulin in May and increased the dose to reach 120 units at 8pm and 60 units at 8am. I was also on Metformin, but other diabetic meds were stopped because of side effects.

With hard work, and perhaps some disordered eating I lost weight, 2 stone but my blood sugars were still high.

Then my latest HbA1c came back at 96% and already being low in mood and feeling trapped, this became the final straw, especially after my encounter with ATOS / DWP the same week.

Consultant gave me fast acting insulin Humalog to start 10 units x 3 times a day with meals. He told me I would gain weight with this. This is the reason they delayed me starting insulin because of weight gain. I am waiting for weight loss surgery, but can't be approved for surgery until my HbA1c is under 65%

It's been over a week since I saw my consultant and I've ceased all diabetic meds including the Levemir... I cannot afford to gain weight, and it seems with the higher rate of Levemir I gained 6lbs, so to start Humalog and gain more I just cannot do. I've also ceased testing my blood sugar for almost a month.

To be honest all I thought of when being given Humalog was "this is my way out of this hell, I can take an insulin overdose"

I've had mental health issues for many years but have had no support from the CMHT for 18 months, I was doing well, now things are sliding and have been most of this year...

I cannot and will not inject insulin if there is a risk of weight gain.

I no longer know what to do. All I can think of is harming myself. I know the signs I am getting unwell, one of which is decluttering which I've spent the last week doing in a rather OCD manner.

I tried to see my GP, but couldn't get an appointment till the end of the month. I spoke to a crisis helpline charity and they faxed my GP on the 8th to ask that I was referred back to the CMHT urgently. I heard nothing until GP letter today asking me to book a telephone appointment to discuss my call with the crisis helpline charity. I don't want to talk on the phone, it's not helpful. I want to sit and talk to someone. Is that to much to ask?
 
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PickyChick

Member
Messages
15
Type of diabetes
Type 2
I was diagnosed with a Binge Eating Disorder several years ago. It has improved but I still eat the wrong foods the majority of the time, especially when I am emotional. I have Borderline Personality Disorder.
 

Freema

Expert
Messages
7,346
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
I was diagnosed with a Binge Eating Disorder several years ago. It has improved but I still eat the wrong foods the majority of the time, especially when I am emotional. I have Borderline Personality Disorder.


I am so sad for you... what has worked best for me is to only eat 1000 calories a day and only a few kinds of foods like cottage cheese low fat and Salads green vegetables avocadoes an some nuts and whey 100 with water if you know excactly to eat and give it a month like me... then you should be able to get your blood glucose down...

in earlier days very few calories was used too to get blood glucose down... and it took me only 1 month before my numbers vere in the prediabetic level..

you have an important goal and of cause you can do it if it is for only 1 month.... if you find it hard not to be filled, then do like one person I know ... eat 3 cucumbers in a row on purpose and do it even though you maybe dont like them very much buy 10 cucumbers at a time ... and eat nothing at all from 19 o´clock untill 12 o´clock next day that will help you too, it has helped me so much ..
ignore if you feel hungry and Watch a lot of videos on u-tube to keep motivated , I do that regulary .... the first 3 days you have a headace .. but that diapears after a few days...and the hunger becomes smaller and smaller too...

if you find it totally impossible not to eat from 19-12 then buy some sugarfree gums and eat them in moderation
 
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catapillar

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,390
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
If you are concerned that signs of hurting yourself are imminent you can seek help via a walk in centre, via A&E, you could try the crisis helpline charity again, you could try the Samaritans. These routes might lead to an expedited referral to CMHT or they might be able to give advice oh how to get the referral you need.
 
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Shar67

Guest
You know, you have looked at the problem and rather than overdosing you've came here and we will give you all the help we can. That is one big positive
Let's look at changing one thing at a time, you have a weight issue and don't want to add weight by taking insulin. You might put on some but the alternative isn't good for you, diabetes neuropathy, DKA. So let's try the insulin, once you do this, we can look at what your eating, I take insulin and have lost 10k in weight, simply by not eating rice, bread and potatoes. Chips I hear you cry, well you can have sweet potato Chips, you can eat a good variety of food and we will help you change.
I'm not type 2 so I cannot really say I know how you feel. But I do know about malnutrition and having eating disorder.
I also know there is a huge support on this forum together we are going to to help
 
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_lyn_lyn_1963

Guest
Disordered eating you talk of, to stabilise your mood you must stabilise you food, eat little an often and on here you will find all the help if you read through to help you lose weight and what not to eat. I recommend the diet doctor web site, firstly cut out all sugars in foods you will feel better, then you could go lower carb.
 
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PickyChick

Member
Messages
15
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Thank you all for your replies.

The weight I lost was because I stopped the binging for a while and became obsessed with what I did eat. I wouldn't eat after 7pm or until 12pm the next day, but even on Levermir my BS were still sky high.

I don't eat chips, I hate them. I do eat bread, rice and jacket potatoes which I now know are not good for blood sugar control.

I need some help with my mental health so I feel the only way forward is to seek help at my local A&E and see what they can do to perhaps put some support in place.
 

PickyChick

Member
Messages
15
Type of diabetes
Type 2
You know, you have looked at the problem and rather than overdosing you've came here and we will give you all the help we can. That is one big positive
Let's look at changing one thing at a time, you have a weight issue and don't want to add weight by taking insulin. You might put on some but the alternative isn't good for you, diabetes neuropathy, DKA. So let's try the insulin, once you do this, we can look at what your eating, I take insulin and have lost 10k in weight, simply by not eating rice, bread and potatoes. Chips I hear you cry, well you can have sweet potato Chips, you can eat a good variety of food and we will help you change.
I'm not type 2 so I cannot really say I know how you feel. But I do know about malnutrition and having eating disorder.
I also know there is a huge support on this forum together we are going to to help

Thank you.
 
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PickyChick

Member
Messages
15
Type of diabetes
Type 2
If you are concerned that signs of hurting yourself are imminent you can seek help via a walk in centre, via A&E, you could try the crisis helpline charity again, you could try the Samaritans. These routes might lead to an expedited referral to CMHT or they might be able to give advice oh how to get the referral you need.

Thank you. I initially thought who I called was the NHS Crisis Line but it wasn't but it was helpful to talk to them and offload. I am quite an isolated person so often feel very alone.
 
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catapillar

Well-Known Member
Messages
3,390
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Here's some information on accessing mental health support - http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutN...vices-explained/Pages/accessing services.aspx

You are doing really well to recognise the signs that you might self harm and to be seeking help to avoid it. You should be really proud of yourself for that. I'm sorry it is proving difficult to access the help that you need. Keep trying and do call the charities for support until you can get NHS support in place.
 
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PickyChick

Member
Messages
15
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Here's some information on accessing mental health support - http://www.nhs.uk/NHSEngland/AboutNHSservices/mental-health-services-explained/Pages/accessing services.aspx

You are doing really well to recognise the signs that you might self harm and to be seeking help to avoid it. You should be really proud of yourself for that. I'm sorry it is proving difficult to access the help that you need. Keep trying and do call the charities for support until you can get NHS support in place.

Thank you, I will.
 
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chalup

Well-Known Member
Messages
1,745
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Other
Once you get sorted out with some help and support, start researching low carb diets. You will probably find that as this type of eating plan addresses both blood sugar and weight loss that it will work for you. It also will assure that you are not hungry all the time which may help with bingeing as hunger often sets off a binge. One place to start is the atkins website. It gives clear instruction with lists of appropriate foods and recipes. It also explains why this works. Just do not buy or use their pre made junk. The site is free to use.
 
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azure

Expert
Messages
9,780
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Pump
@PickyChick Forget the weight for now. If you're feeling that low you need help with those feelings as soon as possible. Try the links @catapillar has put here. If you can't get through that way, phone your doctor or the 111 service and explain how desperate you feel.

I know when you're feeling **** it must be very hard to deal with your GP, but do phone them again next week. I find that sometimes they go on autopilot and don't always take in everything you're saying. You may need to repeat firmly that you need help now. If the receptionist isn't helpful, ask for a nurse, doctor or the practice manager.

As for the Humalog, I used to take that before I changed to another insulin. I'm Type 1 nit Type 2 and I don't have any insulin resistance, but it most definitely didn't make me put on any weight.

If you think about it, your high blood sugar could be contributing to your eating problems. Before I was diagnosed, I was starving all the time. I had high sugar and didn't know if. My body couldn't use the sugar so it sent out hunger messages. Once you get on your new insulin routine and get your blood sugar down, you may find some improvements with your way of eating. You'll certainly feel a lot better in yourself.

Please carry on posting here. Remember it'll probably be quieter overnight, but if you leave a post here people will see it and reply.

Look after yourself and know that people here care about you. X
 

himtoo

Well-Known Member
Retired Moderator
Messages
4,805
Type of diabetes
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why can't everyone get on........
Hi @PickyChick
it is really hard to put things in a priority but getting BG's down is number 1 followed by weight

it won't happen overnight and i do so feel for you as your posts do convey the emotion you are experiencing.

you have a good bunch of people with you here and trying to take things a day at a time can help to counter some of the stress.

do stick with us here --- you are not alone xx
all the best
 

col101

Well-Known Member
Messages
358
Type of diabetes
Type 1
Treatment type
Insulin
Hi @PickyChick sounds really hard coping with everything that's going on for you. I know that these days CMHTs are sadly very very overstretched, even compared with the rest of the NHS, and its hard to get support from them. I'm glad you've found the helpline and even though its not face to face hope it can help a bit. Not sure where you are geographically but there are some excellent voluntary/third sector organisations around in MH. Some branches of the Samaritans offer face to face time, you'd need to find the local branch's direct phone number online then ring them rather than the national number to see how they're fixed.
Wish you all the best, take care.
 
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PickyChick

Member
Messages
15
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Thought I would update. I've continued to neglect my diabetes and not taken any meds or insulin for a few weeks. The DSN phoned yesterday for BS readings after my last appointment and I explained to her my current state of mind, she's now booked me in to see the Consultant next week.

I finally saw my GP today after booking an appointment 3 weeks ago. She was concerned for me, warned me of the risk of diabetic coma etc. She's referred me back to the mental health team and I hope to hear something next week from them.

I know all the risks, possible complications etc. to neglecting my health but I am truly past caring.

I've not checked my BS for 5 weeks, I'm scared to with all the junk I have been consuming, constantly peeing and drinking high sugar drinks.

I just cannot see a way forward.
 

Freema

Expert
Messages
7,346
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
they should offer you to get into a hospital and get the supoort there and get the foods that are the best for you and mental support too ... hope they end helping you big time,because you need that , send you my love and care

don´t you have any family suport ?
 

PickyChick

Member
Messages
15
Type of diabetes
Type 2
they should offer you to get into a hospital and get the supoort there and get the foods that are the best for you and mental support too ... hope they end helping you big time,because you need that , send you my love and care

don´t you have any family suport ?

Thanks for your reply.

I don't have family support, the one family member in my life I am a carer for and I feel deeply trapped, it is complicated, I am caring for someone who was largely a cause of my mental health problems. I vowed when my mum died I would run for the hills and do anything but turn into a carer again, (I cared for my mum for 18 years, she died 7 years ago now) and here I am still caring and hating myself more and more each day.

A break away could be what I need, some time to think, put things into perspective etc.

I've found hospital admissions in the past helpful for my mental health, but I've never previously neglected my diabetes like this.
 

Freema

Expert
Messages
7,346
Type of diabetes
Type 2
Treatment type
Diet only
Thanks for your reply.

I don't have family support, the one family member in my life I am a carer for and I feel deeply trapped, it is complicated, I am caring for someone who was largely a cause of my mental health problems. I vowed when my mum died I would run for the hills and do anything but turn into a carer again, (I cared for my mum for 18 years, she died 7 years ago now) and here I am still caring and hating myself more and more each day.

A break away could be what I need, some time to think, put things into perspective etc.

I've found hospital admissions in the past helpful for my mental health, but I've never previously neglected my diabetes like this.

yes life binds people sometimes in unbearable emotional obligations/bonds sad for you that you can´t get free... I think it sounds ike you should ask for hospital admission and get the support there for both your mental situation and your diabetes... wish you all the best ... and a virtual hugg