Mental health and test results

[oddbunny71]

Hi all, FTP here. I was lucky and caught my raised HBA1C early when being tested for something else, and it was 49. I am very overweight, 54 years old and have had fybromyalgia for 15 years, which has slowly impacted my mobility and now I walk with a stick all the time. After 6 months since diagnosis in Apr 2023, I got my A1c down to 44 through diet and exercise but not low carb, just cutting out the rubbish and being sensible. I've just come up for my 12 month check and my cholesterol is raised, not massively on where it was before but it triggered a 'you might want statins' text.
My issues is I suffer from severe depression and anxiety and just struggle so hard to cope with waiting for blood test results. I've tried in vain to regulate my thoughts and I'm lucky to have a supportive husband but even though my numbers are low, I feel like I just don't want to live with the constant testing and worry any more. I feel although the NHS is trying to care for me, they also make me feel like I'm going to die of something any minute, and you can't even got to the loo anywhere without a "Have you got cancer?" sign on the back of the door. Then I feel horribly guilty when I see how others are dealing with their situations with such courage and dignity. I'm stuck in a cycle, and I would really welcome hearing from anyone who might understand.

 

[debs248]

You have my sympathy. It's hard enough managing one medical condition, the more you have the more exhausting it gets. Well done on lowering the HbA1c, you must have worked really hard.

Are you getting any help for the anxiety? My husband has had severe anxiety and depression for years and has recently had some counselling and CBT, which have freed up some of the time and energy he was spending worrying.

It's hard not to feel guilty about things we can’t help but it sounds to me that you're doing the best you can under very difficult circumstances and that needs to be acknowledged.

While I can't claim to fully understand, I think you're doing really well so far and wish you continued strength in getting through your health challenges. It's hard work, but you've already shown you're strong enough, even if you don't feel it yourself at the moment.

BTW I'm 51, obese and have had ME/CFS for over 30 years and use an electric wheelchair. Oh dear, now that sounds like I'm trying to compete with you. Honestly, it wasn't meant that way, just trying to empathise. I'll shut up now before I put my foot further into my mouth...

 

[oddbunny71]

You have my sympathy. It's hard enough managing one medical condition, the more you have the more exhausting it gets. Well done on lowering the HbA1c, you must have worked really hard.

Are you getting any help for the anxiety? My husband has had severe anxiety and depression for years and has recently had some counselling and CBT, which have freed up some of the time and energy he was spending worrying.

It's hard not to feel guilty about things we can’t help but it sounds to me that you're doing the best you can under very difficult circumstances and that needs to be acknowledged.

While I can't claim to fully understand, I think you're doing really well so far and wish you continued strength in getting through your health challenges. It's hard work, but you've already shown you're strong enough, even if you don't feel it yourself at the moment.

BTW I'm 51, obese and have had ME/CFS for over 30 years and use an electric wheelchair. Oh dear, now that sounds like I'm trying to compete with you. Honestly, it wasn't meant that way, just trying to empathise. I'll shut up now before I put my foot further into my mouth...

Hey, thank you so much for your very supportive reply and I'm sorry you're going through it too. I've had counselling over the years, but I think the one thing they never allow is to talk about your past. It's always CBT and a specific focus which I don't always have. It can be anything. It affects my blood pressure too so that's always up and down and then you get the constant " have you been offered the 24 hour monitor at home" EVERY time when I've said repeatedly how on earth would anxiety, particularly as severe as mine, work with that? I really appreciate the support though. Sometimes you just need to feel you're not alone.

 

[JoKalsbeek]

Hey, thank you so much for your very supportive reply and I'm sorry you're going through it too. I've had counselling over the years, but I think the one thing they never allow is to talk about your past. It's always CBT and a specific focus which I don't always have. It can be anything. It affects my blood pressure too so that's always up and down and then you get the constant " have you been offered the 24 hour monitor at home" EVERY time when I've said repeatedly how on earth would anxiety, particularly as severe as mine, work with that? I really appreciate the support though. Sometimes you just need to feel you're not alone.

There's more in the world than CBT. Schematherapy might be of assistance here... That does actually hearken back to things that happened before (very broad, not just one formative event!), and helps you put current things in a new perspective. Or EMDR, which goes back to a more specific traumatic episode. Therapists tend to specialise in something, and it helps if you know the type of therapy that would be most useful to you. It has to fit your needs, after all!

As for people being all brave, well... If there's a name for "health anxiety", then it occurs pretty often. Otherwise they wouldn't've made a nametag for it. You're doing really well with the health issues you're dealing with, considering the circumstances, but it would help if you could let it go a bit, as stress itself plays a role in a lot of physical issues. I'm curious about all sorts of things, so I'm currently wearing a CGM (continuous glucose monitor) so I know what's going on. I also know that for a LOT of people, it would drive them up the wall with anxiety. For me, it's informative and fun. (And very helpful!). Different strokes for different folks. Don't compare yourself to others: they haven't walked in your shoes, haven't dealt with the same things you've dealt with, your coping mechanisms and mental toolbox might look entirely different. You do you, in whatever shape that takes.

Good luck!
Jo