mixed emotions

[Dana_Heath]

I've got so many emotions going on in my head right now-
in one sense I want to be proud of myself, yet on the other hand I just want to cry aswell.
Tomorrow's the day- I'll have been diabetic for 10 years. Which I shouldn't really have any emotion about I guess- it should just feel like a normal day. But, I don't know. I don't have anyone to talk to about it because I know there's some things that people wont explain.
Everyone sees it as a 2nd birthday and thinks I should treat it like that. But, it's not that simple. It feels like someone's died and I'm mourning them- but at the same time I'm proud I can say I've made it this far- I haven't passed out or been a bad diabetic: I've took care of myself and, idk.
I've done good, but I could have done better- without it?

I'm just not sure

 

[claire1991]

I know how you feel, it'll be my 20th anniversary on bonfire night this year and I'll only be 25!

I've never enjoyed bonfire night because of this reason and tend to stay away from people and mourn for the loss of that part of myself for the day.
It'll all be changing this year because I'll have had a baby by then and don't want him/her to miss out.

I can't tell you how to deal with the day, I just wanted you to know that you're not on your own.

Claire x

 

[Juicyj]

It's a tough one as this feeling is as unique as you, put it this way you wouldn't be the person you are today without it. It's definitely a case of acceptance though, try not to mourn the person you could of been but instead celebrate who you are x

 

[Kristin251]

On my 1st anniversary I didn't know if I should celebrate (still being alive and healthy) or cry so I bought some adorable new sandals and all was well.
I understand the wanting to cry but in the end insulin has given us life so I try to remember that especially on those days. We are alive and that deserves a celebration

 

[noblehead]

Your doing well @Dana_Heath and you should be proud of your achievements over the last 10 years. Just remember your never alone whilst this forum is around

 

[Snapsy]

Hi @Dana_Heath , please accept the virtual hug I just gave you.

I had never really considered my anniversary in any way, either positively or negatively - indeed it had always passed me by. Until recently, that is - which is why your post has really got my attention.

Ten years in and yes you can be so proud! Absolutely wonderful that all is well.
But I know what mean about it being a sad thing too. As for 'better without' - deep down I know what I'd prefer, of course, but I don't have the choice - instead, for good or bad, I am the Snapsy I am today as a result of everything in my 41 years so far, including 29 years 10 months of type 1 diabetes.

Which brings me on to..... my 30th. May 9th this year. A wacky part of me wants to have a massive party - very very odd as I'm not remotely sociable - but I think it would be more to stick two fingers (sorry) up at it rather than an actual celebration per se.
Although I too am proud. Gosh, it's difficult, isn't it?

Cake or no cake, that is the question....

Flippancy aside, I really do get what you're saying. I really do. Be proud, but do give yourself permission to mourn if you need to. I shall be thinking of you tomorrow, and I hope your day will be a good one.

 

[joe-90]

One thing I've often wondered is, do type 1 diabetics look on type 2 diabetics as real diabetics? Or just a bunch of people playing at it? Just curious.