More Support, less Advice for Newbies

lucylocket61 said:

Thank you, and I apologise for jumping to conclusions and over reacting. I hope I havent upset you. I respect you and all you are dealing with, all you have achieved, and your willingness to share to help others.

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Don't worry.
I'm like you, here to help my fellow man/woman. I don't want anyone upset. Diabetes does enough of that already.

Grateful said:

She was ready for them to make lifestyle changes but "only after Christmas/New Year." At which point several people, including (fairly gently) myself, suggested that waiting that long was not a good idea.

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I agree with you here. I made the obvious carb cuts but wasn't ready to give up my lunchtime sandwich. I've done it now and it was fairly painless because I was mentally ready to do it. Mental health and personal circumstance has to be taken into account too!

edited to correct typo

archersuz said:

I agree with you here. I made the obvious carb cuts but wasn't ready to give up my lunchtime sandwich. I've done it now and it was fairly painless because I was mentally ready to do it. Mental health and personal circumstance has to be taken into account too!

edited to correct typo

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Where you told to give up the sandwich on here?

archersuz said:

I agree with you here. I made the obvious carb cuts but wasn't ready to give up my lunchtime sandwich. I've done it now and it was fairly painless because I was mentally ready to do it. Mental health and personal circumstance has to be taken into account too!

edited to correct typo

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Not too dissimilar to myself. I refused to give up potatoes. That was nearly 4 years ago and I still refuse to give them up, but I listened to my meter as to portion size and type of potato (new boiled, roasted, or fried, no mash, no baked.) I was lucky, the amounts I eat don't affect me very much, unlike bread and grains.

woodywhippet61 said:

Where you told to give up the sandwich on here?

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No but that's probably because I didn't actually ask for any advice. I just read the posts and advice being given to other people - which seemed to be saying give up all bread, rice, pasta etc

archersuz said:

No but that's probably because I didn't actually ask for any advice. I just read the posts and advice being given to other people - which seemed to be saying give up all bread, rice, pasta etc

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But you still ignored it until you were ready to experiment and see what happens.

I've just managed to read through this thread and have found it interesting. I don't have quite the same way of controlling my diabetes as a lot on here (I eat to my meter) but it works for me. I will often read a post from a newcomer and the replies and then think it is not sensible to make further suggestions. I do feel Daisy's post is really good basic advice and she normally suggests people ask questions.If people ask what meter to get or what works for different people then I would jump in. I do agree with the OP that to start gently is a good idea and to find out as much information as possible. It took me a few weeks to join this forum and a few more weeks before I felt I could post, I had read a lot of posts and used that information to get my control before I even started posting,

One big issue is how hard it is for anyone to change their ways (or in this context, their treatment for diabetes) once it has started and once the "routine" is under way. Some of us are creatures of habit, especially if the habit is prescribed by a doctor or nurse.

We've got people here who were on the "conventional" treatment for a long time, sometimes years, before making diet/lifestyle changes after finding this forum or another source of alternative advice. If anything, changing course months or years later requires a lot more courage than just adopting it at diagnosis.

To me that's an argument for being (politely but firmly) fairly insistent, even with a scared and confused newbie. I'm not advocating for ramming stuff down people's throats (and I seldom see that happening here), but I do think getting the message out quickly is unlikely to do harm and quite likely to do some good.

Here's one case of providing "support" and putting off the "treatment" part until a more appropriate time later.

After my most recent diabetes appointment, as the doctor and I were walking down the corridor on the way out, he told me about a patient he had seen recently, who like me had been well-controlled with diet only. But at the most recent test, that patient's HbA1c had come back at nearly 13% (119).

Patient: "What am I going to do? I'm getting married in a few days and going on honeymoon!"
Doctor: "Congratulations! Get married, go on your honeymoon. I'll see you afterwards and we'll sort it out!"

woodywhippet61 said:

But you still ignored it until you were ready to experiment and see what happens.

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Yes. I did what I could cope with, ordered my meter, then started testing and adjusting from there. I still eat a small portion of some potatoes. I have an HBA1c test lined up for 3 weeks time so will find out then how successful I have been!

Hiitsme said:

I've just managed to read through this thread and have found it interesting. I don't have quite the same way of controlling my diabetes as a lot on here (I eat to my meter) but it works for me. I will often read a post from a newcomer and the replies and then think it is not sensible to make further suggestions. I do feel Daisy's post is really good basic advice and she normally suggests people ask questions.If people ask what meter to get or what works for different people then I would jump in. I do agree with the OP that to start gently is a good idea and to find out as much information as possible. It took me a few weeks to join this forum and a few more weeks before I felt I could post, I had read a lot of posts and used that information to get my control before I even started posting,

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Your journey and general approach sounds very similar to mine!

When I was a brand new shiny member I looked at all the advice given then made up my own mind. I had previously looked at 'the other' site but decided not to join because their advice per the eatwell plate just did not sit well with me and so I checked their recipe section. My jaw dropped! Even as a completely uninitiated noob it made no sense to me to carry on eating carbs at virtually the same rate (although I knew they were not countenancing eating the junk foods) post dx. So when I stumbled upon DCUK by the sheer habit of typing dotUK instead of dotorg I looked around and felt that approaches here were far more pro choice and I took the plunge.
I do not feel that I was overwhelmed with advice as a newbie. I did become overwhelmed after a short time because I discovered the sheer wealth of knowledge shared by members and I thought I had to learn everything. I was then advised by 'older' members to slow down a bit, to concentrate on listening to my meter as the first step, to learn the basics and to learn to walk before I could run. Six months on and two things have changed, firstly I am no longer in panic mode and secondly I am still learning but at a far more relaxed pace.
Let me be absolutely clear here, with a diagnostic level of 98 and a truly panic driven personality coupled with an inherent need to understand the mechanics of the conditions that affect me personally, was the reason that I jumped into the deep end. I need to know why something has gone wrong before I make decisions but with Diabetes what must happen is a sea change (in my opinion) to what is happening as soon as possible.
I am still learning, obviously, but the need to understand is still uppermost in my mind now that my numbers are far more controlled. I had the luxury of time to learn about my other conditions but Diabetes is different. The advice to lower one's bg must be given at the outset alongside support. It is my opinion that time is of the essence.

Grateful said:

Here's one case of providing "support" and putting off the "treatment" part until a more appropriate time later.

After my most recent diabetes appointment, as the doctor and I were walking down the corridor on the way out, he told me about a patient he had seen recently, who like me had been well-controlled with diet only. But at the most recent test, that patient's HbA1c had come back at nearly 13% (119).

Patient: "What am I going to do? I'm getting married in a few days and going on honeymoon!"
Doctor: "Congratulations! Get married, go on your honeymoon. I'll see you afterwards and we'll sort it out!"

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Probables off all the stress and diverted funds to pay for wedding eh?

A person is only able to change once they can listen with understanding ears.

I know, because I was deaf and totally oblivious.

I often wonder if I would have heard carb control at first diagnosis! I was enjoying my life after finishing a stressful marriage and was even reluctant to see nurse that saturday morning at surgery. I didn't want to know.
I wanted to continue my lifesryle. I wasn't ready to change, then.

Late to the discussion but as a newbie (to the forum rather than diabetes) I lurked for ages just reading and assimilating info given in various posts. Not everyone would do this but I suspect many would so the dietary advice etc may well be taken on board indirectly.

Perhaps posts by newbies could be answered with a supportive comment as a first reply with a follow-up sentence at the end asking if there was any particular advice they wanted?

They may not know what they want so perhaps an explanation of how the forum is organised and where to search for info ... Took me ages to find my way around.

I learnt more by reading about other people's experiences and then investigating for myself. You need to be pretty proactive to join a forum and start asking for advice.

Just some thoughts ...

BTW - I use the forum mainly on phone or tablet - signatures and member info isn't visible on these so posters in apps may not be able to check the newbie's type of diabetes nor their signature if they have one.

Ultramum said:

BTW - I use the forum mainly on phone or tablet - signatures and member info isn't visible on these so posters in apps may not be able to check the newbie's type of diabetes nor their signature if they have one.

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Interesting. I see the signatures on my iPad but not on my iPhone. I use the website on both rather than the app as I find it easier.

Android tablet and phone for me so obviously very different experiences for people depending on how they access the forum.

[QUOTE;

Perhaps posts by newbies could be answered with a supportive comment as a first reply with a follow-up sentence at the end asking if there was any particular advice they wanted?

They may not know what they want so perhaps an explanation of how the forum is organised and where to search for info ... Took me ages to find my way around.

Just some thoughts ...[/QUOTE]
Good thoughts

Guzzler said:

There is a risk that a member 'agrees' with an unedited comment only to find later that the comment has been edited to express further thoughts that the member no longer agrees with. I will edit for typos and still add that reason for editing.

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If that happens there is always the choice on the right side of the post you agreed with to undo your "agree" so not really a problem is it