Sounds a bit dramatic, the truth is i'm numb to it all. I'm 33, I have a wife and two kids. I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes nearly 3 years ago now and put straight onto insulin. The problem is I have something wrong with my mental health and I completely self sabotage with my diabetes, its coupled with a really bad relationship with food. Its been at least 4 weeks since I tested my blood glucose. I've been taking my lantus every night (38 units) but haven't taken a single Bolus in months... There, i said it. I used to be 21st which was the point I got diabetes. I'm now 15st 6lbs. People tell me well done on the weight loss but the truth is I havent done anything different, i've ate a bad diet, havent excercised and i've lost the weight, I know its because im running high, sometimes I can even feel my body working overtime and burning like a furnace. I now hear words like 'diabulemia' and wonder if thats what is happening to me and my mind - is my subconcious linking weight loss to bad control? I dont even think when i'm going to the fridge, its like someone else is controlling my body but a few minutes after I feel ashamed and then I block it out and move on. I took the step to mention this all to my DN who recognised I needed help but didnt know what to do or suggest. She referred me to the hospital. I've spoken to more than one GP about it and they dont know what to do. In one hour I'm going to see the specialist doctor at the hospital and i'm going to tell him all of this. In my mind its my last chance to get help, I dont know what help i'm asking for specifically but i'm suspecting its some kind of psychological help. Maybe as a 33 year old male with a professional career and family falls outside of the usual stereotype for this kind of thing. How can a person not control their own mind when consciously they really want to live, succeed and be happy but subconsciously they are on autopilot to destruction.