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New to T1, feel very alone

Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by silverstars, May 3, 2009.

  1. silverstars

    silverstars · Newbie

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    Just been diagnosed with T1 at 27 two days ago.
    I work in the medical profession so i've seen the worst side of diabetes and its scaring me stupid.
    I feel like a leaper and want to shut myself away and pretend its not happening.
    I'm sure if i give myself time I'll get better, but right now it feels like life as i knew it has finished!?
    Any advice on how to cope with all this emotion?
    Sylv.
     
  2. lilibet

    lilibet · Well-Known Member

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    Hi sylv

    Please dont feel alone because soon you will be so au fait with diabetes you will begin to think the opposite and think EVERYONE has got it. Which we have, on this forum. However, I know what you mean about the feeling.
    Whats important to know, once you get over the initial shock, is that you WILL feel better. After only 2 days of symptoms and going to my Doc to tell her I thought I had diabetes and her reassuring me it couldnt be that because I was 33 , I got called 6 hours later to go to A and E and admitted for nearly three days.
    Lots of type 1's have similar stories and if its any consolation (and I remember it well, it was only Sept last year so know that it feels there will NEVER be consolation again) I cried for about 12 hours and then for much of the following few weeks. Still got the odd wobble (christmas set it off big time) but slowly but surely you get there.

    My fear of complications is what knocked me on my backside, not least cause I was healthy before dx, didnt smoke blah blah blah. COuldnt believe how UNFAIR it was that i was now at risk of x, y and z. You are right to be fearful because complications are a reality of the condition but by no means inevitable. You have seen what bad control of diabetes can do, because I can guarantee that the people you see have probably not been taking care of themself. Its this that motivates most of us to do the best we can and the more you come across people the more you will realise that unfortunately taking control is not as common as you would think.

    Life is not over, its just changed. For some who were on a slippery slope health wise, its for the better. I dont fit that category but life does go on - I promise.
    Last night i was at a bbq, eating and chatting with friends and drinking with friends til 2am.
    Its a steep learning curve being diabetic and sometimes is qute frankly a gigantic pain in the arse.

    But, and please know this,. you are not alone. Everyone in this forum is or has been at the same point of you. There are people here diabetic for over 30 years with no complications and they didnt have the tools we have now.

    So, weep, rage at the world. Read the forum and come back to us with questions. Tell us what insulin you are on, Private mail the people you think could help you - they will answer.

    Chin up.
    x
     
  3. cugila

    cugila · Master

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    Hi Sylv.

    Welcome.
    As you can see you will get loads of help and support here, whether T1, T2 etc.
    It might be emotional support or just answers to questions about Diabetes. No matter. We are all here for you.
    It can and will get better.

    Ken.
     
  4. totsy

    totsy Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    hya sylv,
    i know exactly how u feel, i was diagnosed near on 5yrs ago and till joining this forum id never spoke to a type 1 in my life, i too was very scared but it genuinely does get better, as already said said it will soon be second nature, have a good read of the forum and ask as many questions as u need to and someone will help you :D
     
  5. chocoholic

    chocoholic · Well-Known Member

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    Hi Sylv,
    Welcome to the forum. As others have said, we KNOW how you feel and we really do understand. What you are feeling is perfectly natural and normal. In a way I think we all grieve for the life we had pre-diabetes and the continuation of that life 'as we wanted it'. Diabetes does change your life and with Type 1 you not only have to get used toall the testing but the daily jabs too.
    It does get easier though.Promise. I'd be lying if I said it doesn't still get me down from time to time but in some respects I'm probably healthier than pre-diagnosis. I exercise more than I did before.....I belong to a walking group......and I really love it. Thanks to reducing my carb. intake, I've lost a stone and a half in weight, so am now slimmer than I was and I think I actually enjoy the simple things in life more because it's taught me never to take things like health for granted.
    Feeling 'it's unfair' is also natural. I remember thinking 'what did I do wrong?' I'd look at grossly overweight people in the street, tucking into masses of junk food and think 'I'm not like that. How come I'm the one with diabetes and not them?'
    Once you have come through the initial 'shock and anger' stage, we'll be here to answer any questions you'll have. You'll not find a more helpful bunch of people and if you want a rant or a just a listening ear, as fellow diabetics, we'll understand.
    All the best, chocoholic.
     
  6. alexmaudite

    alexmaudite · Newbie

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    I'm 28 myself and started insulin for type 1 about 4 months ago. So it's all very fresh in my memory. My advice is definitely to talk about it as much as you can, even if you bore you family to death with it, because until you feel understood by the ones who are dear to you, you'll keep feeling really alone. Reading about people with type 1 on this forum also helped me a lot. One of my nurses is a type 1 too and it's just been a great relief to meet someone who seemed to cope that well, when I thought my life was going to be dull and complicated forever. But what people say is true, in the end diabetes is very manageable and you end up taking better care of your body than you ever did (well at least it happened to me).
    Good luck with it all.
    Alex
     
  7. Jen&Khaleb

    Jen&Khaleb · Well-Known Member

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    Hi there,

    I also had a good understanding of medical conditions when my son was diagnosed T1. He also has Down Syndrome so for quite a while I figured he had been given a death sentence. I still think like this a bit but don't dwell on it so much. He's had good bs levels so there isn't really any reason to think diabetes will be the cause of pain and suffering. We meet with other T1 families every 3 months and go to Camp Diabetes once a year. It is good to meet up with others in the same situation. Meeting some people that are well into there 60's and 70's is inspiring to see them living so well (limbs, kidneys and eyesight intact.)

    I've nearly been living and caring for a diabetic for 2 years now. I miss my sleep but the day to day stuff is just part of life.

    Being worried is probably good. You'll take good care of yourself.

    All the best, Jen.
     
  8. LizzieP

    LizzieP · Well-Known Member

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    Hello Sylv!
    Welcome to the forum. What you are feeling is natural. It's kind of a grieving process for the life you had before. I can only echo what everyone else has already said. It does get easier, I promise. I'm only 1 year down the road but feel almost feel 'normal' again now I've got my head around it. Having said that, I had a rubbish day of it yesterday, but that's they way it goes. People without Type 1 Diabetes also get rubbish days!
    I can recommend a couple of books which I found really useful when newly diagnosed (I still refer to them very often) which are Using Insulin by John Walsh and Think Like A Pancreas by Gary Scheiner. Also, there are so many people on this site who can help you with specific issues and problems you may come across as you start to learn how to live with it. Or even if you want a good old fashioned rant! We're all here to help each other. :D
     
  9. claridge

    claridge · Well-Known Member

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    Hi,
    im 25 and l was diagnosed Type 1 coming up to 2 mths ago.
    Everyone is different but it took me over 3 weeks to get back to normal happy Jo, and about 4 to give myself that push and get back into exercise. Always a few ups and downs but its constant learning- but it is leading that healthier lifestyle. I think those Diabetics you have seen with complications have not looked after their Diabetes. Read as much as you can on it and buy all the books recommended- thats what lm doing! One of the first books l bought was the Collins Carb Counter- Mini- so fits in your handbag- perfect for learning what foods are higher in carbs... even drinks! its so nice to go out and not feel bloated as l cannot have fizzy drinks.. and even a good excuse not going out drinking all the time.. l did get drunk a few weeks ago and so didnt take my BS before bed and drunk symptoms and hungover symptoms are a bit like a hypo- so gave myself a good scolding... well actually l think the awful hangvoer did that for me! Email whenever you like- l have bothered all the others on here with my millions of questions... but thats the only way you learn :) xx
     
  10. silverstars

    silverstars · Newbie

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    Thanks guys,
    loads of great advice here, feeling much better now and not so much like my life has ended!?!
    Its good to know there are others around my age who have just be diagnosed, i thought i was a freak?
    thanks again for the support,
    X
     
  11. Lilybean

    Lilybean · Member

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    Hi sylv,

    you've had a great response. what a bunch of totally lovely amazing people. Your thread has helped me too! I was diagnosed 5 months ago with type 1, when i was only 8 weeks pregnant. it hit me like a truck and i was tearful for weeks and quite down for a couple of months. i didn't talk to anyone about it because i didn't have anyone to talk to. my partner was caring but didn't understand and i've learned not to expect people who don't have diabetes to understand, it's very hard for them. that's why i've become a member here because i've finally realised that the people who can help and want to listen are the ones who are living it. my partner doesn't cope well when i'm not coping well and his response just makes me feel a burden. that makes me feel even worse and quite upset. it's just his way. he's lovely really honest. but here, you feel normal and that your emotions are experienced by each and every one of them when they were first diagnosed. you're not a freak and nor am i.

    i'm 28 weeks pregnant now and baby is doing well. it's been a worrying time for me but i've had to be strong for my baby. i've had really good blood sugar control which was bordering on obessive if i'm honest but it was my way of dealing with it. i found that if i was successful in controlling it and keeping with the target range they set me then i was happy. now in my third trimester it's getting harder as the hormones block the insulin so my insulin requirements are going up rapidly and i can no longer guess how much i need to give. my blood sugar levels are therefore everywhere and it's upsetting me - no control! ahhhh. i'm slipping back to the anger and resentment and am tearful alot again. i was hypo at lunch time and cried over my sandwich. i don't like it and i know i've got to come through this stage but probably won't until my baby is here safely and i have to live with it as just me rather than a pregnant lady.

    i've really taken comfort from your comments - it's like a big hug from everyone.

    i probably haven't helped you much except for you to know you are not alone with your feelings. i remember feeling very similar and although i get down with it as i am now, i am not as low as i was when first diagnosed (on new years eve of all times!). i hope you do start to feel better and i hope this forum helps you. you've down well to come on it so soon. i was too embarrassed as i thought no one else would be dealing with it like i was so i suffered in silence. don't do that. come and speak to everyone and we'll help each other through it.

    big hug

    Lisa
     
  12. claridge

    claridge · Well-Known Member

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    Hi Lisa,

    Thanks for your email :) Sorry to hear things are getting a little out of control- but well done for keeping tabs on it all up to now! A few ppl did say to me about not getting obsessive- but l get a tad annoyed when they say that. Its our lives that are onthe line as such- we have to be obsessive! (in a good way :)). You need to find out from other Diabetics who they have coped with being Diabetic and whether they can give you any tips. (having kids seems like a long way away for me!) But massive congratulations! I have some friends having kids and its just amazing- they are adorable little things! All l know about pregnacy when Diabetic is you need to be monitored carefully and be on certain tablets- sorry cant remember what they are called. But if l would you l would start a new post labelled pregnancy and people will then know that its there :) Best of luck for getting things a little more under control. Definitely not alone you have all of us! And your hubbie will get used to it- he just needs to read up on it and understand it- he will only be scared because he doesnt undertand. On the day of my Diagnosis my 26 yr old bro spent half a day on the internet about it!. Also the more you learn and understand about it you can educate people as well. Have you got any book on it yet? I have the last 2 months on here, reading low gi books for ideas, wandering for ages round the supermarket with my collins gem carb counter book, and on the train with my Dr Bernstein's book. I feel quite clued up on it now- feel pretty confident about explaining it to others. I know lots more books to read and much more to learn and more experiences to come. xxxx
     
  13. Lilybean

    Lilybean · Member

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    hi you! you sound much more positive too which i'm really pleased about. this forum is definitely a god send! i too think a bit of obsessiveness is healthy! it keeps you focused and determined otherwiwe i can imagine it's very easy to let things slide and do whatever and bs levels would be horendous and that would be very upsetting as well as have serious health consequences.

    since joining last week i've been feeling more positive and being as i'm getting tired of hearing myself and my negative thoughts i've been trying to think about how i can be positive about it. i can't do anything about it, it's here and it's here to stay so, like you say, understand, learn and live with it as best you can.

    i am considering, although not just yet as baby due soon, doing an OU course on health science. I want to learn more about foods and the body and science behind it to help myself eat healthily and manage my diabetes as best i can with foods as well as insulin and the degree also include diabetes care. i'd really like to become a dietitian so i can help other people and how better to do that than to be diabetic myself and living with it and to be qualified to help people and make their live's easier when they are diagnosed. i think doing something positive will be hugely beneficial. once baby is here, and i've adjusted to being a diabetic not being pregnant, i'd also like to get in to exercise and do something to raise funds for diabetes awareness.

    a chap on this site is cycling from london to paris! well done him. that's just brilliant.

    keep well and keep posting - great to hear from you!

    xx
     
  14. claridge

    claridge · Well-Known Member

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    An OU Course on Health Science sounds so exciting! And just up my ally! Well... apart from all these Insurance exams i have to take! Goodness knows how l will have time to have a boyfriend when l end up meeting someone! Think will look into it though sounds great! xx
     
  15. totsy

    totsy Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    i do recommend the ou ,ive been with them for 4 yrs and still enjoying it :D
     
  16. Lilybean

    Lilybean · Member

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    that's great totsy. very encouraging. i'm very excited about it and it's definitely something i will do in the next year. just want to get baby girl here safely and get through the sleepness night bit and then i can get cracking.

    Good luck with your insurance exams. i am sure you will do just fine and keep me posted on whether you go down the OU course route. i can only think it will help us enormously in the long run. you'll fit a man in especially if he's the right one who's going to back up and support you all the way. you're young enough to live life for yourself at the moment and the right man will come when you're ready.

    xxx
     
  17. SazCameron

    SazCameron · Newbie

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    Heyb syl!

    Not being a diabeic myself but caring for someone who is, I kind of see it from the other side - which I feel can be helpful! While I guess in that way, I can't understand how you feel, there is one thing I've learnt so far!- you've got to try and control the diabetes as best you can. If you let it be in control of you, things will be so much harder! (sounds a tad cliched, but so true!)

    The people on this site have been so reassuring and helpful. Although I've only made one post - it's been so helpful!

    Take care hun xx
     
  18. Miasma

    Miasma · Member

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    Honey, if there's one thing I've learnt in life it's that you just gotta stay positive :) I'm only 18 and I was diagnosed this year, and it scared me silly, I was on the bad side of it because i went undiagnosed for so long I was in severe ketoacidosis, and my eye sight certainly isnt as good as it used to be, and by hell do I have my down moments where I just sit and cry because i'm at 12 and I want nothing more than a bread roll, but try see the glass half full, rather than empty.
    Diabetics who keep it under control are more likely to live healthier lives than none diabetics, cause we eat better, we exercise more and obviously we're told to stop smoking, haha.
    You may have seen the bad sides of it, but when I was in hospital, I was amongst these old ladies who'd been admitted with broken hips, one was in her nineties and she was diabetic and had been since she was in her twenties, so long as you're responsible, you can rest assured you're going to have a better quality of life :)
    good luck!
    xo
     
  19. lindap

    lindap · Member

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    Hi Sylv

    I wish this site had been available 28 years ago when I was diagnosed with T1. You will find this so supportive and knowledge is the key.
    Please don't be negative I know it is difficult but I have lived a fun life and not had totally wonderful bld sugars. I am happy to say at the moment I have NO complications. Just think of worse diseases you could have and it can only get better. Once you feel in control and hopefully better than you have felt for months you will be OK.

    Best of luck & live life to the full
     
  20. kyoung09

    kyoung09 · Member

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    i got diagnosed at 16 and had it for a year :) i felt sad because i thought id be treated differently or no one would want me around because i was hassle? but not at all. levemir and novorapid lets me control it so discretely and easily and to be honest im proud of it? Hate it when people feel sorry for me because it doesnt hurt? yeah i have my down days especially at first as i just thought grrr? so annoying? but.. it does get better. youve probably seen people with bad things mostly old, as they didnt have the technology and help we had today? people scared me with legs falling off and what not but my dad had cancer and he lost his leg at 21 so to be honest, just whatever. lol! obviously you need to adjust but i love life and am going uni in september. people who end up in hospital dont care for themselves properly or maybe just dont realise when they hve hypos. there are lots of symptoms but you can get dogs which can smell when your sugar is low?! just buy one and its an excuse to have a dog eh?! honestly, it wil get better and im self conscious and young so if it was really bad i wouldn't lie. talk to me if you need to. xx
     
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