Newbie

[Antje77]

Is there an area on here which gives support to partners?

I think that's actually a wonderful idea! Living with someone with diabetes can't be easy and I can imagine how it would be helpful to ask your questions to people in a similar situation or have a vent from time to time without feeling you're somehow betraying your partner!

Things like this exist for partners of people with all kinds of things, so why not diabetes?

 

[Lamar123]

He isn’t relying on me, he has been diabetic

I think that's actually a wonderful idea! Living with someone with diabetes can't be easy and I can imagine how it would be helpful to ask your questions to people in a similar situation or have a vent from time to time without feeling you're somehow betraying your partner!

Things like this exist for partners of people with all kinds of things, so why not diabetes?

love your reply....I’m actually feeling really isolated and feel now that I’m wrong in some way to try and help the man I love....in fact it’s nearly as if being type 1 is a private members club, sorry if that sounds flippant it’s not meant to offend....but yes being the partner is hard, worrying and very scary. I’m being told about the Dapne course he has dismissed it because in our area it’s a full week, he is self employed he can’t take that time off...also again it’s private so I can’t go, but I’m the one who prepares all the meals...sorry to rant x

 

[Lamar123]

Hello @Lamar123 all questions generally come through the 'type 1' section, we do get questions from partners from time to time but it's fairly rare as type 1's tend to join to get support for themselves here. With type 1 there is no 'one size fits all', it's a unique condition to each and every one of us hence why we encourage the individual to join, we also cannot give advice here on dosing, this information needs to come from their Diabetic team. There are so many things that affect our control from illness, stress, exercise, change in seasons, weight etc, hence why needs change constantly, but as I said earlier if he's having nighttime hypos then his team need to be contacted asap to review his care. If he's struggling with his nurse then demand to see another, he has patient rights and if they are not helping then report them as this isn't acceptable care.

By joining the Dose Adjustment for Normal eating course the individual is empowered to make the changes for themselves and recognise when things do need to change. As this requires constant monitoring it really is down to him to take ownership for his condition, is he struggling with his management hence why he's relying on you ?

He hasn’t had night time hypos for some time as his bloods were high hence the reason why I asked the question as his bloods are much lower now that I’m on board with him. He wont/can’t go to the course as in our area it’s 5 full days and he is self employed so can’t afford the time, also I am unable to go to it yet I’m the one who prepares all the meals....that’s not him relying on me that’s me catering for our family.

 

[Juicyj]

Hi @Lamar123 I am also self employed but felt taking 5 days out for a course which could improve my quality of life was vital, as a result of the course I changed background insulins as my basal wasn't working, learned about sick day rules, carb counting, managing doses, met other type 1's, also it meant it was easier to access a pump as I'd done this course as a prerequisite. I am also a mum too so had to juggle the course around childcare. At the time I felt it was an impossible course to do but once I'd done it my confidence improved, I'd recommend every type 1 does this.

 

[Lamar123]

Hi @Lamar123 I am also self employed but felt taking 5 days out for a course which could improve my quality of life was vital, as a result of the course I changed background insulins as my basal wasn't working, learned about sick day rules, carb counting, managing doses, met other type 1's, also it meant it was easier to access a pump as I'd done this course as a prerequisite. I am also a mum too so had to juggle the course around childcare. At the time I felt it was an impossible course to do but once I'd done it my confidence improved, I'd recommend every type 1 does this.

I agree with what you are saying but we are not in a position for him to take off 5 days. The stress of that alone would cause him major problems. I’m still feeling there is very little out there to help partners and I don’t think I’m going to get any help here either.

 

[Antje77]

I don’t think I’m going to get any help here either.

Don't give up on us so quickly. You've got reactions to 2 things mainly:
1: you asked about what a safe number is before bed. You didn't get a clear answer because there isn't one. Too many factors play a role to answer this for somebody else. Often we're not even sure for ourselves before we go to bed.
2: You stated that you were trying hard to sort out your partner with regards to his diabetes. That made all kinds of alarm bells going off with us.
By now you've elaborated and the alarm bells have dimmed somewhat.

So please try us with some more questions in new threads and read around on the forum. That's what I did when I was newly diagnosed and I learned a lot from it.

Good luck!

 

[JAT1]

I find that as long as I am above 5 before bed then I am ok going through the night. Few months back though, I always had fruit handy for night-time hypos but the solution was lowering my basal insulin. Everyone is different but it is helpful to know other's experience. We change all the time too, so what's working now may need to be adjusted in future. He's really lucky to have you helping him.

 

[EllieM]

but he won’t go to the specialist nurse as we have had problems with her before....we aren’t the only ones

Is this a specialist nurse at your GP, or a diabetic clinic? As a T1 he should be hopefully able to get an appointment with a hospital clinic. I'd recommend this because he needs help to

1) get his basal dose right so that he doesn't go low overnight and his blood sugars are normal in the morning
2) help him calculate his insulin to carb ratio and carb correction ratio so that he can inject correctly for meals and correct his bloods when they are too high or low.
3) Plus it's important to have regular checks of thing like eyes because eyesight can be saved if things go wrong but only if you're being monitored so you get treatment when you need it.

They may even suggest different insulins if he's having issues at night. Personally, as a T1 for 49 years I find hypos the worst part of diabetes and do a lot of testing to both attempt to keep my blood sugars in range and avoid the hypos.

In my family my husband does most of the cooking (which is diabetic friendly) but my diabetic calculations are all mine - he does and has saved me from hypos, though, particularly nocturnal ones.

It's good that you're helping your husband but I would strongly urge him to see his diabetic team, taking a food and blood sugar diary would be a big help.

Is there an area on here which gives support to partners?

Not specifically, though there's a section for parents of T1 children.

Can I ask how long your partner has been diabetic?

 

[Lamar123]

Is this a specialist nurse at your GP, or a diabetic clinic? As a T1 he should be hopefully able to get an appointment with a hospital clinic. I'd recommend this because he needs help to

1) get his basal dose right so that he doesn't go low overnight and his blood sugars are normal in the morning
2) help him calculate his insulin to carb ratio and carb correction ratio so that he can inject correctly for meals and correct his bloods when they are too high or low.
3) Plus it's important to have regular checks of thing like eyes because eyesight can be saved if things go wrong but only if you're being monitored so you get treatment when you need it.

They may even suggest different insulins if he's having issues at night. Personally, as a T1 for 49 years I find hypos the worst part of diabetes and do a lot of testing to both attempt to keep my blood sugars in range and avoid the hypos.

In my family my husband does most of the cooking (which is diabetic friendly) but my diabetic calculations are all mine - he does and has saved me from hypos, though, particularly nocturnal ones.

It's good that you're helping your husband but I would strongly urge him to see his diabetic team, taking a food and blood sugar diary would be a big help.


Not specifically, though there's a section for parents of T1 children.

Can I ask how long your partner has been diabetic?

He has been diabetic for 25 years, to start all was good, but then we both got caught up with life, 3 young children one of which had his own medical needs....wrongly I presumed hubby was doing all his own checks etc. We have always eaten healthy which I really think is what has helped until the last few years. He was telling me is three monthly blood tests were good when in reality they were double (81?,) what they should be. Since I have started from scratch with him his daily bloods are way down and have not been above 10, so while I don’t fully understand it all I’m happy with that but like him have the fear of him going low through the night. He has never had a hospital appointment everything (eyes, feet bloods) are done through our local clinic.

 

[Lamar123]

Is this a specialist nurse at your GP, or a diabetic clinic? As a T1 he should be hopefully able to get an appointment with a hospital clinic. I'd recommend this because he needs help to

1) get his basal dose right so that he doesn't go low overnight and his blood sugars are normal in the morning
2) help him calculate his insulin to carb ratio and carb correction ratio so that he can inject correctly for meals and correct his bloods when they are too high or low.
3) Plus it's important to have regular checks of thing like eyes because eyesight can be saved if things go wrong but only if you're being monitored so you get treatment when you need it.

They may even suggest different insulins if he's having issues at night. Personally, as a T1 for 49 years I find hypos the worst part of diabetes and do a lot of testing to both attempt to keep my blood sugars in range and avoid the hypos.

In my family my husband does most of the cooking (which is diabetic friendly) but my diabetic calculations are all mine - he does and has saved me from hypos, though, particularly nocturnal ones.

It's good that you're helping your husband but I would strongly urge him to see his diabetic team, taking a food and blood sugar diary would be a big help.


Not specifically, though there's a section for parents of T1 children.

Can I ask how long your partner has been diabetic?

 

[Lamar123]

Apologies, he had hospital appointments in the early days & then when we moved to a new area was discharged to the sole care of our healthcare centre which did appear to be normal.....im hoping he is on the verge of agreeing to be referred to the local hospital but with my hubby its baby steps!