Parent of Teen - Advice needed

[Lennycollins]

Hi - Some advice / reassurance required (I think?). I’m the parent of a teenager daughter (16) diagnosed at 8…. so we have lived with this for some time now. Recently however my anxiety with her numbers (via her cgm) had risen significantly. I’m not sure why as she has never had an HbAC1 over 58 (has been between 40-58 since diagnosis) and her time in range report over the last 3 months is over 90% (4-10mmol). I get worried whenever she spikes over 10 mmol and this can happen spontaneously due to puberty and menstruation. She is very capable, and I know I’m micromanaging this which I know is really annoying her. Any advice on how I back off and stop the constant worry? …. Thanks.

 

[Jaylee]

Hi @Lennycollins ,

Welcome to the forum.
Sounds like your daughter is doing great!

As someone who was also diagnosed at the age of 8 by the time I’d hit my teens we all (family unit.) pretty much had our own interests in the household?

I’ll tag in @EllieM to say hello, who I believe was diagnosed around the asame age.

 

[Lennycollins]

Hi @Lennycollins ,

Welcome to the forum.
Sounds like your daughter is doing great!

As someone who was also diagnosed at the age of 8 by the time I’d hit my teens we all (family unit.) pretty much had our own interests in the household?

I’ll tag in @EllieM to say hello, who I believe was diagnosed around the asame age.

Thanks for coming back - yes I think she is doing well, as a parent you want to protect and advise your children so this is definitely my problem.

 

[grantg]

great time in range, its normal to 'spike' over 10 for me at least within an hour or so after eating. slowly OR quickly coming down depending on activity/food.

In regards of giving her a little space, as a parent you'll always worry about your child, as you have mentioned she is very capable just need to try put a little more faith if shes higher than normal levels she'll be well aware how to rectify them.

Not sure how family sharing cgm readings work, is it perhaps possible for your alarm if have one...to set it slightly higher whilst shes out and about, less notifications less worry, Don't change if can effects her own alarm Rather than look at her shared readings maybe try just ask her once or twice a day. She sounds like she's doing awesome. Its natural for teens to want some indepdance etc, try not stress too much her time in range is awesome. PS wishing her good for upcoming GSCE's/exams

 

[Lennycollins]

great time in range, its normal to 'spike' over 10 for me at least within an hour or so after eating. slowly OR quickly coming down depending on activity/food.

In regards of giving her a little space, as a parent you'll always worry about your child, as you have mentioned she is very capable just need to try put a little more faith if shes higher than normal levels she'll be well aware how to rectify them.

Not sure how family sharing cgm readings work, is it perhaps possible for your alarm if have one...to set it slightly higher whilst shes out and about, less notifications less worry, Don't change if can effects her own alarm Rather than look at her shared readings maybe try just ask her once or twice a day. She sounds like she's doing awesome. Its natural for teens to want some indepdance etc, try not stress too much her time in range is awesome. PS wishing her good for upcoming GSCE's/exams

Thanks for this - I’m lucky in a sense that she’s so compliant (she’s never missed a bolus since diagnosis). I think it’s the sporadic (not food related) spikes that comes with puberty and menstruation that raise her pretty quickly to around 11-12mmol from being steady at 6mmol. The problem is you can’t foresee them and by the time you do and give insulin it’s a couple of hours before she’s back down again.

Thanks for your suggestion on high alarms - I’ll see if I can set one that doesn’t impact her.

I think as a parent we just want the best and to give her the opportunity to lead a happy and healthy life, by teaching her good habits and maintaining control of her levels.

And thanks for the exams - we are in Scotland and she starts her higher exams in a couple of weeks.

 

[Rokaab]

I think as a parent we just want the best and to give her the opportunity to lead a happy and healthy life, by teaching her good habits and maintaining control of her levels.

You also need to remember that she will get highs and lows - and it is NOT NOT NOT a failure - its just happens and at various times there is diddly-squat you can seemingly do,

I know I've seem people in these forums panicing when they go over 10 and seeking perfection - well with T1 for most of us that perfection will just never ever happen - so make sure she's not setting herself up for continual disappointment/anxiety if her blood sugars dont always play nice - because yes it just doesn't.

Trying to get good numbers is a good thing but yes gotta accept when it doesnt and just deal with it then and there (a bit of swearing can help )

 

[Lennycollins]

You also need to remember that she will get highs and lows - and it is NOT NOT NOT a failure - its just happens and at various times there is diddly-squat you can seemingly do,

I know I've seem people in these forums panicing when they go over 10 and seeking perfection - well with T1 for most of us that perfection will just never ever happen - so make sure she's not setting herself up for continual disappointment/anxiety if her blood sugars dont always play nice - because yes it just doesn't.

Trying to get good numbers is a good thing but yes gotta accept when it doesnt and just deal with it then and there (a bit of swearing can help )

Appreciate the feedback- you sometimes think you’ve cracked the code, but diabetes has a way of always flinging a curveball!!

Add in teenage hormones and it amplifies it even more.

I agree that you need to deal with the ups and downs and perfection is seldom achieved. Wish I would stop becoming so anxious and agitated when she’s not in range as this does not help either.

 

[grantg]

Category	Target Time in Range (4-10 mmol/L)	Target Time Below Range (<3.9 mmol/L)	Target Time Above Range (>10 mmol/L)
General Population with Diabetes	At least 70%	Less than 4%	Less than 25%
Pregnant Women with Type 1 Diabetes	At least 70%	Less than 4%	Less than 25%
Children & Adolescents with Type 1 Diabetes	At least 60%	Less than 1%	Less than 35%

Hopefully you'll find the above helpful. Data taken from: https://www.diabetes.co.uk/blood-glucose/time-in-range.html

 

[becca59]

@Lennycollins Welcome. Although admirable that you are so invested in your child’s well being, perhaps it is time now she is 16 to practise retreating a little. In two years she will be classed as an adult and really it will no longer be appropriate for you to be constantly aware of her levels. She has obviously proved herself to be very sensible and be proud of that. Obviously be there if she wants to bounce things off you. I constantly talk and bounce things off my husband, but I would be seriously annoyed if he started being involved in questioning me when I have high levels. In the middle of the night he is aware if alarms go off and I am dealing with stuff. He checks I’m ok and leaves me to it, as he should, it is my disease not his.
Your daughter may go off to university in the near future, start preparing for that by showing her that you are trusting her to manage corrections without you asking her what she has done.
I think this is an occasion where our wonderful technology is making you anxious which as you know is your problem to deal with.

 

[EllieM]

I was diagnosed aged 8 in the days before glucometers let alone cgms. And my control in my teens was truly awful. Over 50 years later I have good control, two healthy children and no obvious diabetic complications.

I think your daughter is doing fantastically and you should try to relax. Puberty is difficult enough without diabetes and there is no point adding worries about spikes to the difficulty she probably already has just through being a teen.

Be proud of her diabetic control and try not to worry about minor spikes.

 

[Jaylee]

I was diagnosed aged 8 in the days before glucometers let alone cgms. And my control in my teens was truly awful. Over 50 years later I have good control, two healthy children and no obvious diabetic complications.

I think your daughter is doing fantastically and you should try to relax. Puberty is difficult enough without diabetes and there is no point adding worries about spikes to the difficulty she probably already has just through being a teen.

Be proud of her diabetic control and try not to worry about minor spikes.

My teens were pretty bad too, to be honest.
My management has never been so good since the advent of CGMs.

Though my mum keeps asking what the white disk is on my arm.
After the first 2 times explaining, I just tell her it’s an un removed security tag from when she stole me from the baby shop.