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please someone listen to me I am so worried

Discussion in 'Type 2 Diabetes' started by andreaabbott1, Jul 14, 2015.

  1. Molly56

    Molly56 Don't have diabetes · Well-Known Member

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    @andreaabbott1 ...I can fully sympathise with all that you say...my partner has this afternoon effectively just discharged himself from the pain management clinic and also from the orthopaedics for problems with his knee.....tomorrow he is seeing the GP about pain in his hip and his shoulder and will expect him to do something about it...is totally and utterly crazy but nothing I can do about it....he never listens to what I say or to any GP or consultant and never remembers what they say...

    ..can also relate to the lying bit too as amongst other things he has been known to write false bs readings in his book (anything over 15 is written down as 14 point something)..have no idea why he does this and no idea what this achieves other than lying to himself too...is probably part of the denial process...

    Not exactly advice but more of a suggestion....have you ever been to the GP yourself to tell them how this is all affecting you and to also outline the issues and concerns you have....have done this to help myself to cope with the situation that I find myself in and whilst they are not allowed to comment specifically about my partner's health (patient confidentiality and all that) they know that I am fully aware of his medical situation (as like you I have attended appointments with my partner in the past to help him remember what is said) and the GP can make suggestions as to how I can best deal with it to maintain my own health and wellbeing. This has certainly helped me to cope better with the situation as well as talking to people here on the forum.

    Wishing you all the best and take care of yourself.
     
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  2. Sarada

    Sarada Type 2 · Member

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    Hi Andrea,

    The main problem your husband seems to be facing is insulin resistance. I am 65 years old, and have been living with type 2 diabetes since 2001. It gets worse and worse as you age and time goes by. I was very much like your husband: feeling hopeless and unable to stick to any diet or get my weight and my blood sugars down, until about 4 months ago, when I stumbled upon Dr. Jason Fung on the internet. He is a nephrologist here in Canada and he practices at the Scarborough General Hospital outside of Toronto, Ontario.

    After following his program for 3 months, my BG has gone down from 13 to 6 mmol/l, and I have my life back again.

    He has many videos on youtube, the one below is on diabetes, and, in the middle, he has some of his patients explaining how he has helped them reverse diabetes.



    He runs a program called intensive dietary management which can be accessed internationally. His team will work with you and your doctor to achieve amazing results.


    https://intensivedietarymanagement.com/join/
     
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  3. rytham2

    rytham2 Type 1 · Member

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  4. rytham2

    rytham2 Type 1 · Member

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    yes im going through the same problems
    It is Diabetic neuropathy where all the nerves are sensitive Won never knows where it will strike next. Me In the groin always lower back pains, down my buttocks, back legs slow urine ,unable to control my Bowls.
    ONE answer it very low blood sugars 4-5 for a good while so the nerves calm down. inflammation of muscles use some ice then heat.
    I have memory problems and fibromyalgia with a pace maker
    One thing though Diabetics are given statins to keep the Cholesterol down And it gave me leg pains, so I am no longer on statins which has helped me. My doctor prescribed me another type, Not as effective, but helpful to keep the cholesterol down.
    Other problems like lack of dysfunctions of virility I an landed with Viagra which now I don't use as it hits the brain and pressure behind the eyes.
    Cialis is very good as it opens blood vessels naturally and so even without having sex unlike Viagra your partner say not to night love I have a headache and your left with raising the bed cloths. Cialis doesn't work like that. It opens vessels for more oxygen. and so you get erection when needed. by your own passion.
    good blessing and pray for help
    I been a diabetic for 55yrs
     
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  5. rytham2

    rytham2 Type 1 · Member

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    ask his doctor for happy pills as my wife has been very depressed since my daughter birth 5 uyrs ago and me with muscular pains complaining. depressed also
    I got them and she is happy also
    Its a starter for getting motivated.
     
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  6. rytham2

    rytham2 Type 1 · Member

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    you cannot reverse type 1 diabetic if it is brain related as my brain doesn't tell the pancreas to make insulin.
    type 2 is very easy to control
    It is all down to carbs and no no sweet things. plenty of vegetables but one potato size of an egg for eg.
    EGG whites no yoke and meat no fats or vegetable oils as cause cancer
    Best oil is Virgin coconut oil cold pressed (expensive)
    Sunflower oil or virgin Olive oil
    No soft butters as mixed with veg oil
    pure dairy butter I uses as natural dairy fats in it but only little.
    margarines and veg butters are plastic so I don't use
    My opinion with long reading and trials of my own
    PS greens -- I use what looks green and so since I started eating broccoli as further test have proved for some reason it helps to destroy cancer so I eat regularly. There are now Broc tablets.
     
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  7. andreaabbott1

    andreaabbott1 · Well-Known Member

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    Just an Update Hubbies MRI is this monday 3rd August phew, as he has been now falling over frequently 3 or 4 times a day,
    he can only walk a small way the leg stays straight, and he is really slow, slower than my daughter with Downs syndrome and trust me she is slow
    he cant bath or shower because he cant get upstairs

    I dont think it sciatica, although hubby has convinced himself thats what it is
    reason is he can sit at his computer for hours and hours, yet cant walk, and is in chronic pain at night with his leg

    I will keep you updated, but yes he is still on cakes and biscuits
     
  8. Molly56

    Molly56 Don't have diabetes · Well-Known Member

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    @andreaabbott1 ....hope the MRI brings some answers and that you get some definite diagnosis as to what is causing the problem....will you get the results on Monday or do you have to wait for them...

    Is difficult when a partner is convinced about an ache or pain ....my partner is the same....blames all aches and pains on being arthritis when I think some are actually the result of his diabetes and neuropathic pain....interestingly he is complaining less about the pain he had in his muscle / hip area which seems to have diminished in the last few days....interesting as his bs levels have also been somewhat lower in this period...am not convinced there is a direct connection but who knows...

    Is a shame you are unable to keep the cakes and biscuits upstairs....he wouldn't be able to get to them then....;)
     
  9. ButtterflyLady

    ButtterflyLady Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I wonder if a walking stick or walking frame would help prevent the falls.

    I can really empathise with you because my ex was the same - in denial about his issues and resistant to my attempts to help him. In the end I left because the stress was making me so ill.

    All the GP visits and counselling did was keep a bad relationship going, when I should have left much sooner than I did.

    I agree with the posters above who have suggested putting yourself and your children first, looking after yourself, and not trying to care for a husband who will not allow you to help. You are wasting your limited energy and you are headed towards health problems yourself, I'm sorry to say.

    Is the relationship worth getting ill for? What is he contributing in the way of support and care? Do his actions show that he respects you? Is this love?

    There are people who can support you... IMO you need individual counselling to help you set and enforce healthy personal boundaries and to be more assertive. Assertiveness is not the same as being aggressive or pushy. It simply means being clear in your own mind about what you will and won't accept from others, and calmly communicating that when appropriate,

    I think the only thing that will save him from more severe illness and disability is getting a large shock. If you stopped doing anything for him, he would have to face doing it himself. I would carry on as normal until after the MRI, then cut down on what I was doing.

    You are not his mother, and he is not a child. It's high time he had to start living like an independent adult does.
     
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  10. AndBreathe

    AndBreathe I reversed my Type 2 · Expert
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    Is or was your husband a smoker Andrea?
     
  11. catlady 1

    catlady 1 Type 2 · Member

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    FOR ANDREAABBOT 1 im sorry for your situation i went through the same myself my husband just gave up he was diagnosed T1 when he was 72 i had been on at him for ages as i was already T2 on insulin i knew something was badly wrong one day he had a hyper and i got dr fast and the next thing he was in hospital he was a very gentle man but the hyper turned him into this mad man he had been getting worse for weeks he was then diagnosed T1 and went straight onto insulin he hated hospital and when he came home he hardly spoke again he said i had let him down letting them take him to hospital . i spent the next three years to be honest yelling i know no good comes of that but i could not get through to him i was so upset then this kind gentle man told me he hated me for what i had done to him the next day he had a massive stroke and i had to let him go please show this to your husband if you think it might help you have so much to put up with i wish there was more help i could give you
     
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  12. JTL

    JTL Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    A reading of 8 and above on your meter is a reading telling you you are damaging your nervous system.
    But these people don't care?
    If I was a woman living with a bloke like that my patience could only go so far.
    At some point I'd pack a suitcase for him and shove him and it out the door.
    What kind of life are you people having to live .... with people like this in your home?
     
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  13. ButtterflyLady

    ButtterflyLady Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Wow, that is extreme... it just goes to show how much diabetes can affect the brain sometimes. He had distorted perceptions... he was delusional, to think that your actions that day were anything other than rescue, that any of us would have done.

    It reminds me of a friend whose husband was so much in denial about his developing T1 that it was only when he started slipping into unconsciousness that she could call an ambulance and had him carried out of the house on a stretcher. Several days in ICU to get his BG under control. He was ok after that but, how bad is it when someone refuses to get help to that extent? He would have died, if he had been on his own.

    These men... grrr.
     
  14. andreaabbott1

    andreaabbott1 · Well-Known Member

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    Sorry to keep bumping this up the MRI results aren't back with the doctor yet, which maybe a good thing because at least it means its isnt a tumour

    more worryingly hubby has deteriorated further since my last post and seem permanently superglued to the sofa

    he is on tramadol 100mg 4 times day They help for 30 minutes to relieve the pain
    20mg of amitriptyline
    but the muscles in his leg have completely gone the skin on that leg just sags
    he honestly can not lift the leg at all
    on a good note he has admitted he now cant drive as he dosent have the strength in his leg to lift is off the pedal or to brake

    but this is happening to rapidly just to be sciatica, he spends most of the day and night asleep

    I dont know what his blood sugars are because the dam GP told him to do them once a day every other day
    last time he did them 2 days ago they were 10.6
     
  15. connie104

    connie104 Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    So sorry for the worry you have with your husbands health. I notice you say he sleeps all day and night.
    This could be due to the tramadol as it's an opoid pain killer and this is one of the side effects. I am speaking from experience as I had the same side effect when I was on them last year I could not keep awake .
    Hope the MRI scan gives you some answers .
     
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  16. andreaabbott1

    andreaabbott1 · Well-Known Member

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    Its been over 10 days and NO MRI results back.
    hubby is falling over more and more and since posting he has lost another stone in weight
    it is dropping off him
    the skin on his leg is all baggy and the leg is cold to touch

    he may as well be superglued to the sofa as he spends more time than the cat asleep on it.

    he has stupidly run out of tramadol so he has no pain killers, not that they were doing anything other than making him sleep they were not reliving the pain at all

    He is saying the pain is worse, I have said I will take him to A&E then perhaps he can be given a steroid injection or at least referred, to the right place quicker than the GP will do, but all though he is getting worse he keeps saying he will wait for the MRI results as the GP maybe able to give him something for the pain.
    personally I am at a lose as to what the GP can do

    I dont know his Bloods as he hasnt taken them
     
  17. ButtterflyLady

    ButtterflyLady Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    If he would rather wait to see the GP then the pain can't be too bad. If it was really bad, he would ask you to take him to A&E. One option would be to chase up the MRI results by phone.
     
  18. Molly56

    Molly56 Don't have diabetes · Well-Known Member

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    @andreaabbott1 ...from what you are saying I would think that your husband needs to be seen urgently by a hospital consultant rather than a GP...the weight loss and the leg being cold to the touch sound as if they need urgent investigation ....the GP will only be able to refer him on to specialists to deal with these issues.

    Also referral to a hospital pain management clinic would probably be best to deal with the pain issue.....my partner was referred by the GP to pain management at the hospital as there are only certain options open to the GP....more specialised pain management can be provided by the hospital team.

    If possible can you get your husband to agree to go to A&E over the weekend or better still do you have a walk in centre near you that you could approach....details of your local walk in centre can be found at this link.... http://www.nhs.uk/Service-Search/Walk-in centre/LocationSearch/663 ....if nothing else it will give you peace of mind over the weekend while waiting for the MRI results to come through....if the walk in centre think your husband needs urgent medical attention they will suggest going to A&E anyway but may be a quicker option than either sitting in A&E for hours or waiting for appointment with GP next week.

    Finally, make sure you take time to look after yourself....
     
  19. Suzannelife

    Suzannelife Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Go to the hospital now.
     
  20. AndBreathe

    AndBreathe I reversed my Type 2 · Expert
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    @andreaabbott1 - If he is in a great deal of pain, then it makes no sense to be without pain relief over the weekend. That strikes me as you both having s terrible weekend. Whilst you say his pain relief doesn't work, and he just sleeps; I might be inclined to suggest it deals with the pain for the time you mention, then sends him to sleep, but he's in pain when he wakes. Some of that pain on waking may of course be due to him having been asleep and being a bit stiff, if he's been sitting up and not so comfortable. I'm not rubbishing what he says, more interpreting it differently? I doubt e would sleep if his pain was extreme.

    His reluctance to be proactive in chasing his results or doing anything else may be because he feels so awful. On a wholly different topic, but one one occasion I had proper, can't lift my head off the pillow flu (thankfully, I've only ever had that twice), I used to have to be persuaded to get out of bed, so that it could be changed, because I felt so awful, yet fresh bedding felt so lovely. I just couldn't muster the strength and energy to move. Ring any bells?

    If you are considering a walk-in centre, I'd suggest you call beforehand and ask what their waiting times are. Unfortunately, I had to go to one myself last weekend, when I had stood on something that ended up embedded in my heel, very painful and inflamed. The declared wait was 2 hours, but in fact, it appears that babies and small children are prioritised over adults with questionably self-inflicted injuries (meaning me, walking in bare feet). I have no quarrel with that prioritisation, as children can deteriorate so quickly, but my wait was 3.5 hours in the end. And even then, there was no attempt made to remove the foreign body, but told to take some antibiotics, and if it didn't come out naturally, to attend A&E mid-week. Actually, my GP removed the shard on Wednesday, rather than go to A&E. Erm,............ A long way of saying, he could have a long wait and I might have thought a doctor encountering your husband might just give a covering script for pain relief to see him over the weekend.

    Would you consider calling your own GP's out of hours service and at least get some in-fill pain relief for him? His leg feeling a bit cold isn't something I'd be happy about. How is it's colour? It is pale, dark or "normal" in terms of his overall skin tone? I'd mention that to the Out of Hours service too.

    Good luck with it all. You're certainly going through the mill.
     
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