Really upsetting hospital appointment

[Jelaca]

Hi everyone,
I hope you’re all okay. I just felt like coming on here today as I had my first face to face diabetic review since covid which I was actually looking forward to, to properly see them. (I’ve had appointments but they’ve been on video chat and they didn’t manage to get my meter readings).
Anyway, today turned out to be fairly negative.. I saw a nurse who I don’t usually see, and she didn’t listen to anything I was saying and basically said that I was doing a bad job (not in so many words). I just found it really upsetting as it’s only the last two weeks that I’ve let things slip slightly, I’m normally pretty good with my control and she clearly didn’t believe me when I was explaining, either they or she wasn’t listening, and tried to make adjustments to my doses that weren’t necessary.

Sorry to rant, I just wanted to get it off my mind, I’ve been feeling so down about my control since then, just really discouraged.. I know it’s not even a big thing, it’s just lots of things build up sometimes don’t they? And diabetes is hard sometimes!

Thanks for listening, hope your day is going better x

 

[VashtiB]

I am so sorry you have had this experience! It really is her job to listen first before making judgements and giving advice. Yes a chronic condition can be really tough at times. Life does sometimes get in the way of a 'perfect' way of responding or dealing with it. Everyone can only do the best they can.

Take care of yourself- don't judge yourself or feel down about it. If you are normally good that is what is important.

Good luck

 

[RoughcutAU]

Echos VashtiB words.

I’m only 8 months in on this journey but have definitely found encouragement does more good then scolding. Even the best of us have off days/weeks afterall we are only human. While i’ve been fortunate and have encountered mainly very good HCPs they don’t really “walk in our shoes” and I find this forum valuable to communicate with those that truly understand.

 

[ert]

Hi everyone,
I hope you’re all okay. I just felt like coming on here today as I had my first face to face diabetic review since covid which I was actually looking forward to, to properly see them. (I’ve had appointments but they’ve been on video chat and they didn’t manage to get my meter readings).
Anyway, today turned out to be fairly negative.. I saw a nurse who I don’t usually see, and she didn’t listen to anything I was saying and basically said that I was doing a bad job (not in so many words). I just found it really upsetting as it’s only the last two weeks that I’ve let things slip slightly, I’m normally pretty good with my control and she clearly didn’t believe me when I was explaining, either they or she wasn’t listening, and tried to make adjustments to my doses that weren’t necessary.

Sorry to rant, I just wanted to get it off my mind, I’ve been feeling so down about my control since then, just really discouraged.. I know it’s not even a big thing, it’s just lots of things build up sometimes don’t they? And diabetes is hard sometimes!

Thanks for listening, hope your day is going better x

They encourage you to eat normally and then criticise you when your Hb1Ac's aren't 6.5%. The reality is that I could not achieve 6.5% if I ate normally.
Myself, I follow Dr Bernstein's Diabetes Solution, so get criticised by my DN (my specialist is more understanding) for not eating normally - eating keto, and that my Hb1Ac is 5.3% even though I point out I only hypo 1% of the time. She says but I might hypo more, even if I'm not hypoing much at the moment. I've given up trying to reason with her.

 

[Marie 2]

Don't worry about it and please shrug it off. My first endo was a jerk and I refused to go back to him. I am in the US so I had that ability. Unfortunately along the way, you will have jerks, and because we are type 1's we are required to see or video chat with medical personal often.

The thing is, if you know you are basically okay and just have had a rough few weeks, there is no point to really listening to them comment about the last couple of weeks for treatment overall? You will end up knowing way more about type 1 than any doctor will unless they are a type 1. Since they see so many people they can be invaluable to learn what to do, but they sometimes forget you are an individual with varying results. And maybe all she looked at was the last 2 weeks, so to her it presented a different picture.

So shrug it off, you can try to call and make an appointment with someone else and explain it was just a bump in the road and we have those sometimes, or arrange a video chat with someone else if you feel you want some input. But ignore the jerks, shrug it off, it unfortunately happens.

 

[Grant_Vicat]

Hi everyone,
I hope you’re all okay. I just felt like coming on here today as I had my first face to face diabetic review since covid which I was actually looking forward to, to properly see them. (I’ve had appointments but they’ve been on video chat and they didn’t manage to get my meter readings).
Anyway, today turned out to be fairly negative.. I saw a nurse who I don’t usually see, and she didn’t listen to anything I was saying and basically said that I was doing a bad job (not in so many words). I just found it really upsetting as it’s only the last two weeks that I’ve let things slip slightly, I’m normally pretty good with my control and she clearly didn’t believe me when I was explaining, either they or she wasn’t listening, and tried to make adjustments to my doses that weren’t necessary.

Sorry to rant, I just wanted to get it off my mind, I’ve been feeling so down about my control since then, just really discouraged.. I know it’s not even a big thing, it’s just lots of things build up sometimes don’t they? And diabetes is hard sometimes!

Thanks for listening, hope your day is going better x

I entirely agree with the comments above. The most absurd example of this for me was about 10 years ago when a taxi pulled out of a side road and smashed into the passenger door of my car, not even half a mile from the hospital. As a result I was late, ran from my car to the clinic, and then got called to have all the preliminary tests done. I explained that I had just been involved in a car crash. To no avail. I was given a prescription for yet another drug for hypertension. It came home with me and the smoke went up to the gods...
Sometimes the 'customer' is right!

 

[Outlier]

I feel your pain. My DN lacks people skills too, and my GP is 'my way or the highway' refusing to acknowledge never mind discuss unacceptable drug interactions. It does get lonely at times when we need support, so thank goodness for the lovely people of this Board.

I try to turn the negatives to positives by being so fed up with their attitudes that no way will I be tempted ever to come off my diabetic-friendly diet. I just zone out when Nursie goes into hectoring treat-me-like-a-naughty-child mode, because otherwise I'd be tempted to do something that would make me feel good in the short term but lose her co-operation in the longer term. I need her on-side so I can get my test strips and eye and foot checks. If she needs the stimulus of being the way she is, it's her problem not mine.

There ARE good GPs, DNs and so on, so I (and all of us who suffer from the other sort) may one day be under the direction and support of these. Meantime, it's about keeping the goal -controlled BG - in sight.

You come here and rant all you like. You will meet friendly and knowledgeable people who do actually know what they are on about.We are here to support you.

 

[Fairygodmother]

We’ve probably all had that experience @Jelaca and it’s a frustrating, potentially demoralising and ultimately time-wasting one. I had one like that with a Hospital Consultant a few years ago. He didn’t listen, just reeled off outdated instructions. I made a point of complaining at the reception desk and ensured they put a note on my file that I’d complained and was not to be given another appointment with him. I can be a determined old bat.
Was it at the surgery? You could let them know that the nurse in question was not helpful, had no encouraging advice, made you unhappy. You could ask for another appointment asap with a different nurse. Or you could just tell yourself that you know you’re usually really good at controlling your own T1, put it behind you and forge ahead.
I think Covid, and various political situations, have made us feel the fragility of support systems. At least we can still talk with others here.
BTW, when, a few years ago, I had the first meeting with the Diabetes Specialist Nurse at the surgery I thought she was awful. At the second meeting I asked her how SHE was, questioned a few things she said about T1 management, came back with counter-information, asked for some new kit, different basal, explained why, etc etc. Things changed. Last time I saw her was when she dropped into a different diabetes’ nurse during my appointment. Spontaneous hug.

 

[Fairygodmother]

Just for the record, the other Diabetes nurse was lovely too. There are good medics. I think a few of the hospital ones might be burnt out: insufficient staff and funding, pressures of work, rising numbers of diabetes patients. It’s not helpful, for either them or us.

 

[david4503]

I agree with all of the above comments. I also admire your self-control. If I were in your place, I would’ve found a polite way to tell her to go %#&$ herself. Obviously, she desperately needs to hear this.

 

[ajbod]

I basically ignore anything the DN tells me, she thinks low carb is unsustainable and cannot last. Perhaps she thinks she's using reverse psychology on me, but it's not that which is working it's my own wish to handle MY T2 without meds. Just had my my annual eye check and mercy me, the male nurse doing it is diabetic himself and very enthusiastic about keto and fasting etc, although i don't formally fast, but have days where if i don't fancy it i don't eat. I think all diabetic nurses should be diabetes sufferers themselves and then i'm sure there would be very few negative consultations.