Hello guys and girls, this is my first ever post on here so I don't really know what to talk about or how to get it across. (this is going to be long, so I can understand if you don't want to read it... If you want to, scroll through to this '
' )
I had my first session with a psychologist yesterday; here's why I went. (She suggested I write this post to see if anyone has been through similar, or parts of what I'm going through...)
It all started in 2004 (when I was 11), when I got diagnosed. First year or two I was ontop of everything, checking my bloods everytime I needed to and taking insulin when required. Then it went downhill, soon as I hit year 9/10 in high-school I just left my diabetes alone, didn't take my insulin, couldn't have cared less about it. I think I just wanted it to 'disappear' and not have it anymore. It was only until the age of 19-20 (after I left high-school and college) that I really thought about getting it back in control. The only reason for this is because j fell pregnant with my eldest, who is now three. This is where the stress started. I fell pregnant in September '12, I was about 10weeks gone and my partner decided to turn around to me and say "I can't be dealing with all these hospital appointments and constant check-ups with you. See you later" (in short, obviously). So, I went through the pregnancy on my own, and met my current partner, we'll call him 'J'. J has been there through everything. He was there at the birth, at the scans, at the hospital with me every week.. He is a godsend. My eldest was breech throughout the whole pregnancy. The doctors couldn't think why this was, they tried turning her in the womb but put me in so much agony while doing so that they gave up and decided to put me in for an elected caesarian section. When the day came, the section took longer than expected. Turns out the reason why she didn't turn was because she was born with ABS (Amniotic Band Syndrome - it's where the inner lining of the womb breaks strings off and those strings can wrap themselves around that babies digits and limbs). Luckily she was fine, no major complications, she has no right big toe, her 3rd and 4th fingers on her left hand were fused and bands wrapped around her 4th and 5th fingers on her right hand which stopped them from growing.
Everything was lovely in life. We just had a baby girl, and life at home was great. Three months along, we find out we're pregnant again. So up we went to the hospital every fortnight for the check ups and scans.. Pregnancy was fine, not complications and born via c-section because it was 4 days under a year since my last section.
Children are a handful! Especially if you have them as close as I did!
Right, here comes the real dilemma and the root for most of my current problems.
Since October last year (2015) I've been going to the doctors on and off for reoccurring thrush (yeast infection). First time I went I was given antibiotics and was told it would go within 2weeks. 2 weeks went by, it was fine, all cleared. About a further two weeks on, however, it came back. So off I went to the doctors to say it has come back. They sent me away again with the same antibiotics, just a bigger dose. It cleared up for about 3 weeks... Then came back again. I was like "right, this can't be thrush.. Not this frequently anyway.." Doctor said to me she think it may be Lichen Sclerosis (LS) so she sent me up the hospital to have a biopsy done to diagnose what it was that was bugging me. I then received a letter through the post asking me to go and see the Gynecologist up at the hospital. I thought it was going to be my results telling me it was LS and that we'd get it sorted from there. But no. Turns out a massive bombshell decided to come crashing down on my head. I have been diagnosed with Vulval Intra-epithelial Neoplasia (VIN).
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/informa...isk-factors/pre-cancerous-conditions/vin.html
It's a type of pre-cancerous skin condition and it turns out, there's a very high chance of it turning into C..... There's a way of getting rid of it, by operation, where they remove the infected skin. However, they won't do the operation. :'( this is because my Hba1c is too high. They want me to get it down to 69, the last time I had it checked, it was 77. This is now causing me to get stressed and anxious as I am trying my hardest to get my sugars down, but I am going no where... I have stopped snacking, I'm test at least 12 times a day, but whatever I do, however much I do it, they just won't decrease.
Ontop of this, my two daughters (baring in mind they're only a year apart) are at that stage where they are trying to figure out boundaries and are pushing every single button to agitate me. As well as my other half has now received his date to begin his training for the RAF. So, all in all, I'm going to be a mother of two young children, who are soon to be starting school, other half won't be at home to help, going through the stress, anxiety and depression of this pre cancer malarkey, ontop of my diabetes. My diabetes is being left behind with my head in other places. And I don't know how I can cope much longer. I also have my driving test in a week!
Please let there be someone else who is in a similar position... I need help and someone to talk to.
Partially a cry for help. Partially a cry for support and a friend.
Sent from my D5803 using Diabetes.co.uk Forum mobile app
' )I had my first session with a psychologist yesterday; here's why I went. (She suggested I write this post to see if anyone has been through similar, or parts of what I'm going through...)
It all started in 2004 (when I was 11), when I got diagnosed. First year or two I was ontop of everything, checking my bloods everytime I needed to and taking insulin when required. Then it went downhill, soon as I hit year 9/10 in high-school I just left my diabetes alone, didn't take my insulin, couldn't have cared less about it. I think I just wanted it to 'disappear' and not have it anymore. It was only until the age of 19-20 (after I left high-school and college) that I really thought about getting it back in control. The only reason for this is because j fell pregnant with my eldest, who is now three. This is where the stress started. I fell pregnant in September '12, I was about 10weeks gone and my partner decided to turn around to me and say "I can't be dealing with all these hospital appointments and constant check-ups with you. See you later" (in short, obviously). So, I went through the pregnancy on my own, and met my current partner, we'll call him 'J'. J has been there through everything. He was there at the birth, at the scans, at the hospital with me every week.. He is a godsend. My eldest was breech throughout the whole pregnancy. The doctors couldn't think why this was, they tried turning her in the womb but put me in so much agony while doing so that they gave up and decided to put me in for an elected caesarian section. When the day came, the section took longer than expected. Turns out the reason why she didn't turn was because she was born with ABS (Amniotic Band Syndrome - it's where the inner lining of the womb breaks strings off and those strings can wrap themselves around that babies digits and limbs). Luckily she was fine, no major complications, she has no right big toe, her 3rd and 4th fingers on her left hand were fused and bands wrapped around her 4th and 5th fingers on her right hand which stopped them from growing.
Everything was lovely in life. We just had a baby girl, and life at home was great. Three months along, we find out we're pregnant again. So up we went to the hospital every fortnight for the check ups and scans.. Pregnancy was fine, not complications and born via c-section because it was 4 days under a year since my last section.
Children are a handful! Especially if you have them as close as I did!
Right, here comes the real dilemma and the root for most of my current problems. Since October last year (2015) I've been going to the doctors on and off for reoccurring thrush (yeast infection). First time I went I was given antibiotics and was told it would go within 2weeks. 2 weeks went by, it was fine, all cleared. About a further two weeks on, however, it came back. So off I went to the doctors to say it has come back. They sent me away again with the same antibiotics, just a bigger dose. It cleared up for about 3 weeks... Then came back again. I was like "right, this can't be thrush.. Not this frequently anyway.." Doctor said to me she think it may be Lichen Sclerosis (LS) so she sent me up the hospital to have a biopsy done to diagnose what it was that was bugging me. I then received a letter through the post asking me to go and see the Gynecologist up at the hospital. I thought it was going to be my results telling me it was LS and that we'd get it sorted from there. But no. Turns out a massive bombshell decided to come crashing down on my head. I have been diagnosed with Vulval Intra-epithelial Neoplasia (VIN).
http://www.macmillan.org.uk/informa...isk-factors/pre-cancerous-conditions/vin.html
It's a type of pre-cancerous skin condition and it turns out, there's a very high chance of it turning into C..... There's a way of getting rid of it, by operation, where they remove the infected skin. However, they won't do the operation. :'( this is because my Hba1c is too high. They want me to get it down to 69, the last time I had it checked, it was 77. This is now causing me to get stressed and anxious as I am trying my hardest to get my sugars down, but I am going no where... I have stopped snacking, I'm test at least 12 times a day, but whatever I do, however much I do it, they just won't decrease.
Ontop of this, my two daughters (baring in mind they're only a year apart) are at that stage where they are trying to figure out boundaries and are pushing every single button to agitate me. As well as my other half has now received his date to begin his training for the RAF. So, all in all, I'm going to be a mother of two young children, who are soon to be starting school, other half won't be at home to help, going through the stress, anxiety and depression of this pre cancer malarkey, ontop of my diabetes. My diabetes is being left behind with my head in other places. And I don't know how I can cope much longer. I also have my driving test in a week!
Please let there be someone else who is in a similar position... I need help and someone to talk to.
Partially a cry for help. Partially a cry for support and a friend.
Sent from my D5803 using Diabetes.co.uk Forum mobile app
