Hi
@Becks33,
I know the dark places too. The fear, anxiety and the 'if only had not done this and that...'.
And the overwhelmingness of it all, the lessened choices and wondering what will happen next.
You too have reached a crunch time.
Stress certainly puts up my BSLs and I am a little mystified about why you do not have an insulin pump!
Perhaps you have to earn it! As shocking as that sounds you may have to pull out lots of stops to make that happen.
So - as a TID for 52 years ( not an oldie - still young in non-alcoholic spirit) and not as health professional advice or opinion:
as
@endocrinegremlin says
one step at a time.
Diet - Home page here under Type 1 lists and describes the various diet options - what is it you need to do?
Ask your team -
Start to engage them with questions on diet to show you are reading and being serious - (including
@Juicyj and
@michita) post suggestions above,
start with whoever you get on best with - and ask what to
stop in your diet that is causing BSLs to rise too much and what to do in its place.
Stress_ if you value your eyes, ask one of the team about smoking .
If they say it needs to
stop (and I bet they say so absolutely)! ask for help and
start to find another way to relieve stress
such as yoga! As
@JAT1 puts it, this is a wake-up call, as harsh as it gets but with support as per
@kevinfitzgerald and
@Robinredbreast this can be about
stopping the present journey and
starting a new path, as scary as that might feel.
Keeping occupied with whatever I could was something I needed to do: whether sudoku, macrame or learning other knot patterns, making paper kites, having some goals to one's existence to build on.
Maybe taking notes about what you are reading about diabetes so that you can refer back to them when seeing your team.
Listening to music, making up tunes - the key to real estate selling is location, location, location and for stress ? .....
distraction, distraction, distraction - our minds keep thinking whilst we are distracted, so no time lost !!
BSLs_ from my understanding the Libre device for UK needs to have you testing by finger-prick at least 11 times per day
Maybe something to add to the
start list ? see
@Circuspony,
@michita and
@Robinredbreast And being mindful of what
@Jaylee says. Keeping track of results - a 'distraction' as well.
Insulin_ Carb counting sounds like a way to go to better get insulin and diet working together - there could be other courses on-line which could get you
started earlier. perhaps
@endocrinegremlin knows of such courses ??
Step by step; out of darkness into light - a rather different way of living but one where there can be enjoyment but not a such cost to you.
Best wishes and keep posting - word by word, sentence by sentence !!
Use humour.......We have all..........seek help rather......Read and take........ ..Balance is........Nuthing, absolutely
.........................made mistakes..........than guess..........notes all you can.............key.............nuthin' is impossible
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but I have corrected to bring them down and will start counting my carbs throughout the day! How are you doing today with it?
tested again and it went up to 10.7 !! so not a happy bunny 
