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T1 parent with a healthy son

Discussion in 'Type 1 Diabetes' started by gog1978, Feb 9, 2018.

  1. gog1978

    gog1978 Type 1 · Member

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    Hi
    This is my 1st post so please be gentle with me!!!
    I'm T1 diagnosed 18 years ago and have a 3yr old son. So far he is perfectly healthy but ever since he was born I've been worried that I may have passed diabetes onto him (my dad and his mum also had/have T1) . Every time he drinks a little more than usual, says he's tired or goes to the toilet more often I have a nagging worry that he may be developing diabetes! Sometimes I feel like it's totally irrational but I can't seem to shake this feeling! It didn't help that when he was ill over Xmas with tonsillitis, the out of hours Doctor checked his wee and said that there were high level of ketones showing. She hadn't been made aware that I was diabetic at this point but when I mentioned it she tested his bloods and they were OK said that ketones is an indicator that a child is dehydrated. I can honestly say that the bottom fell out my world when I heard the word ketones! When we got back to the car I broke down and took a while for my wife to get out of me what was wrong. Ever since then I haven't felt right and feel sick at the thought of something that might not even happen. It doesn't help that I feel like I'm suffering from burnout too after a pretty **** year. How do other T1 parents cope?
     
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  2. Jaylee

    Jaylee Type 1 · Expert
    Retired Moderator

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    Hi @gog1978 ,

    Somtimes, diabetes is all we know? I don't have kids. But I do have a dog. He drinks a fair bit from time to time. Occasionally has stomach issue bringing up food.. My worry & brief conclusion. DKA. (Though, otherwise he's impeccable around the house.)

    My dog checked out. I just keep him off red meat.

    So, to the burn out.. Think aircraft safty? Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then tend to those in your care around you...
    This is by no means to undermine how you feel..
     
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  3. EllieM

    EllieM Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Look, I understand your fear. Every time my kids were extra thirsty I would test their urine for sugar (working on the principal that a blood sugar of over 10 would put sugar in their urine and still be an early diagnosis). My mother was T1 (no other previous family history) and I am T1 (age 8) so unlike her very late diagnosis I had an extremely early one and lots of help with diabetes as I grew up.
    So yes, your son/future children are more likely to become T1 than a child with no family history, but it's not a death sentence and treatment for future T1s improves all the time. (I gave up on a "cure" years ago but for new young T1s...?) Would you rather have not been born than have diabetes? I certainly wouldn't. I see many friends and acquaintances that enjoy life with illnesses much worse than diabetes. My kids are 22 and 26, so may still acquire T1. If they do I'll be sad, maybe feel guilty (?), but there are so many imponderables in life that you can't predict, that raising the risk factor for one disease over many others doesn't seem that significant.

    Love your son, enjoy your time with him, with or without diabetes (hopefully without). Remember that even if he does get T1 he'll be diagnosed really early and have the best help with control of the disease.
     
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  4. lindijanice

    lindijanice Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Hey @gog1978, welcome to the Forum - you will find much good info and support on here. Perhaps you would find the article on diabetes burn out a good read....from the sounds of it your year was pretty rough...We all experience it from time to time....take a deep breath and tell yourself, this too shall pass....

    As far as your concern for your little guy, it is quite natural to have those feelings/fears....none of us are immune to them....we want our children to never have problems or hurdles to cross, but life isn't like that is it? The best we can do is love them, care for them the best we know how, show them how to face whatever life throws at us with determination, fortitude and a sense of humor is helpful too:) You have managed your diabetes and my guess is that if that should occur for your son, you will be there to walk the journey with him and impart your vast knowledge to him so he can live a full life with diabetes.

    That sounds pollyannaish to some, I am sure, but it is the truth....you can either become bitter or better with the conditions, diseases, hardships life gives you....I am a three time cancer survivor and worried that my children might have cancer as well.....we talked about it as they became adults - their reply? We know how you did it, Mumsie, and we can face it too with that fighting spirit you have had....Blessings/L
     
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  5. DCUKMod

    DCUKMod I reversed my Type 2 · Expert
    Staff Member Administrator

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    Bitter or better. I like that.
     
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  6. gog1978

    gog1978 Type 1 · Member

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    Thanks everyone! I think everything just seems worse coz i've not been in the right frame of mind lateley- (a few months if truth be told and keeping it to myself!) it's impacting on my daily life and work now too so I've left a message with my lead diabetic nurse and hopefully she'll get back to me next week! Just need to sort my own head out more than anything-always good to know that u'r not the only one and hearing from others in it he same boat
     
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  7. yingtong

    yingtong Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Hi,I've been T1 for 57 years and have 4 children and they are in there 30s and 40s with no sign of the dredged big D.I hope this eases your mind a little.
     
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  8. nessals946

    nessals946 Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I had a difficult pregnancy due to having dodgy kidney function,which led to high blood pressure and not being able to treat it properly with drugs compatible to pregnancy.
    My son was born at 31 weeks weighing 2lb 15oz.The guilt i had over that has never left me,its a parent thing for sure and i still worry about passing it on.He's 21 now and 6ft 1,in uni and working p/t.Im so very proud of him,enjoy your little one,time passes so quickly x
     
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  9. NoKindOfSusie

    NoKindOfSusie Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Yes.
     
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  10. leking

    leking Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    I was diagnosed 20 years ago when I was 12. Now 32 with a 2 year old and a 3 year old.

    I really don't want them to get it. At times, I think it will destroy my world. But then at other times, I take a step back and look at myself, reply look at myself.

    It hasn't held me back. I had a great childhood. I had an awesome time at uni (also won footballer of the year at Manchester Uni ;P). I have a great job. I have a beautiful wife. I have 2 fantastic kids.

    If we spend all our time wondering what could happen to our kids, diabetes or something else, we'll go crazy, get depressed, and that's worse for our kids that getting diabetes trust me.

    And tech is getting better every day. Can you believe parents can now send d their kids to school and monitor their blood sugar levels remotely!?

    So, if they do get it. Firstly I'll have a good cry. Then I'll pull myself together and make damn sure they understand it isn't the end of their life. And that they can and will have a great time. And that I'll be there to support them.

    [Moderator edit for swearing.]
     
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    #10 leking, Feb 12, 2018 at 9:17 PM
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 12, 2018
  11. TheBigNewt

    TheBigNewt Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    If I had my way there would be no test for ketones on urine tests. None. Glucose, protein, SG, blood, bacteria yes. Ketones no. Useless test. You don't diagnose DKA using it, you just worry about it. You diagnose DKA with blood tests.
     
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  12. NoKindOfSusie

    NoKindOfSusie Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Compared to what? How do you know?
     
  13. Mike D

    Mike D Type 2 · Expert

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    Another positive post ...
     
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  14. leking

    leking Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Because everything I have ever wanted to do, I have been able to do. I don't think back to any point in my life and hate any moment of it because I have diabetes.

    Life is far too short to waste it like that.
     
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  15. EllsKBells

    EllsKBells Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    @gog1978

    I'm not a parent, but I am a daughter, and a recent thread prompted me to ask my parents if they would still have had me knowing that I was going to get T1. The answer was yes, unequivocally yes. They said that it has caused worry, and that if there was anything they could do to take it away they would, but they would still have had me, because they love me, and diabetes doesn't change that. If your son does get diabetes one day - and there is no particular reason to think that he will - you will still love him, and your life will still be better for having him.

    As for burnout, I've been there. There is no easy fix. All I can say is be kind to yourself.
     
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  16. NoKindOfSusie

    NoKindOfSusie Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    Why do you care?
     
  17. NoKindOfSusie

    NoKindOfSusie Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    You've never wanted to be able to concentrate on something for more than a couple of hours at a time?

    You've never wanted to just grab a snack because you're hungry, without it becoming a ten minute job involving numbers that are never right, and needles, and pain?

    You've never wanted to go to sleep without worrying how you'll feel when you wake up?

    You've never wanted to exercise or do physical work without having to do hours of planning that often you don't have enough warning to do anyway?

    You've never wanted to just go out with buddies and have a meal without knowing that you are the special case, you will be the centre of attention while you frown at menu after menu outside restaurant after restaurant and everyone is terribly terribly nice about it because it is so obvious how horrendous every last second of your life is?

    You've never wanted to not be hypo, when you are?

    Of course you haven't, because it never even occurred to you that life shouldn't be like that. Well it did occur to me.
     
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  18. Mike D

    Mike D Type 2 · Expert

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    Because that is me. Why do so many others offer to lend a hand to you only to have it rejected?

    Lemme give you some truth. My best friend died of brain cancer not long back (a sweeter person you would NEVER meet and though I'm no weak person by any stretch, "Chuck" was a big strong guy)

    Spent decades with him. Same age as me (60s)

    Before he passed, he wanted to be with his sisters, accepted the outcome without massive regret save for his two great kids and his wife ("It is what it is" as he said) and now he's gone.

    With grace, great conduct and a sweet disposition. Never once did he say he wished he hadn't been born

    Yet you do. That is not a life. Wake up, battle it with a similar attitude and be the best you can

    People here will help you ... do NOT turn your back on them as many appear to have already done
     
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  19. NoKindOfSusie

    NoKindOfSusie Type 1 · Well-Known Member

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    That's awful.

    I bet nobody ever told him it wasn't a big deal and he should cheer up and deal with it though. I bet no other people with his condition told him they were proud of it and that it didn't stop them doing anything.

    The best I can be right now is a really bad imitation of me, it is awful.
     
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  20. Mike D

    Mike D Type 2 · Expert

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    No, he just dealt with it ... way way beyond me how he did it, and I'm one tough person. Chuck knew what was coming. You don't. Be all you can hope for

    The "chuckster" wouldn't kill a fly, but he'd give you (and all) a good life lesson. "Never look back"
     
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