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T2... and ashamed

Discussion in 'Type 2 Diabetes' started by Dippy3103, Dec 8, 2009.

  1. Dippy3103

    Dippy3103 · Well-Known Member

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    I'm a newly diagnosed T2. It still hasn't really sunk in that I have a lifelong diagnosis- my Gran was a T2 so i'm not the first in my family.

    I am over weight (OK, obese. It crept up on me) but won't be telling anyone the numbers.

    I don't want to tell anyone. I feel as if people will judge that because I am "fat" that i basically deserve it. I also work with one person in particular who will make a point of making endless comments about what i do/don't eat- and doubtless will point out that it's linked to obesity.

    I have made changes in the past couple of weeks and do intend to take notice and actually do something about this. As my practice nurse cheerfully told me, i can either crumble and let it take over or make a difference. I am making a difference.

    Has anyone else felt like this? How did you deal with the comments? I know i can't keep it secret forever- the number of appointments I sudenly have will make people wonder (and the fairly obvious changes to my diet).

    I feel better for getting it off my chest.... but if anyone can offer any words of advice i'd be greatful.
     
  2. cugila

    cugila · Master

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    Hi Dippy.

    I think you need to be open with everybody. Family, friends, workmates etc. You have nothing to be ashamed of, you have Diabetes. It's an illness that's all. You are not a leper, an outcast. You didn't ask for it, you just have it.

    I've been a Diabetic for 12 years and never in all that time have I hidden anything from anybody. I was obese, a BMI of close to 40 ! That was in January. I now have a BMI of 28.9....no longer obese, just overweight....a little further to go to MY ideal weight. I don't care who knows the numbers, it gives me satisfaction to let people know how I have done and I try to encourage others to do the same. Stop them making the same mistakes as me.

    You have already said that you feel better getting it off your chest....well it certainly does. Open and honest with everybody. That's a good start, now just build on that. We can help you, advise you, even support you in the tough times. It does get better.....honestly !
     
  3. FordPrefect

    FordPrefect · Well-Known Member

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    All I can say is ignore the gutter press. Look around you how many people are overweight/obese and how many of them are type 2 diabetic? Its only a fraction. You are unfortunate to have a disease you should feel no shame in that. Granted being overweight might make it worse and might have been a triggering factor, its also possible that you have continued to gain weight due to your type 2. I'm not saying you have just that its possible. Remember there are also a number of type 2's out there who are at the right BMI or even underweight.

    Ulitmately what matters now is getting your illness under control and getting your blood sugars down to a manageable level, screw anyone who gives you **** about it, they really dont know what they are talking about. First off review your carbs I do not advocate low carbing but you really have to control your carbs not only to get your blood sugar under control but to also start losing weight which will help. Try and stick to no more than a handful of carbs in your meals its a very rough measurement I know but best that I can come up with. If you can get hold of a copy of a book about the GI diet I would really recommend using the GI diet as a base on which to start and to then obtain a blood sugar meter so you can test yourself and see what effect various foods have on your bloodsugar levels.
     
  4. clearviews

    clearviews · Well-Known Member

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    I was diagnosed 2 years ago. My BMI would have been 30.7.... obese. As a person before children I could not put on weight and my BMI would have been 17.8 so in my mind's eye that was who I was. No one in my family ever had diabetes but then no one in my family was as overweight as I was, but I still couldn't see it.

    I was ashamed, in denial. Thirteen months ago I was put on tablets for the T2 diabetes and I became angry enough with myself to find out why I couldn't lose weight and win this battle. I refused to call my diabetes an illness preffering the terminology.... a disorder. Whatever it was, I didn't want it and bristled when my doctor told me that diabetes is something one cannot get rid of.

    In thirteen months I have lost 19 kilos, in five months I no longer needed medication and got the blessing of my doctor. After 12 months I was told I no longer had any symptoms of T2. I needed the medication to get me going in the right direction. I needed all the fantastic experience of the diabetics on this forum and I read everything I could lay my hands on and asked questions, endless questions. My symptoms would return in a flash if I started eating the foods I once used to eat. I will always be diabetic but I aim to be one of those diabetics who has no symptoms of this disorder.

    I am no longer ashamed, thrilled that people tell me how wonderful I look in less than a year and will keep on learning and looking after myself. Great people on this forum. Read all about them and you will gain power through knowledge.
     
  5. Patch

    Patch Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    It's even easier than all that. Don't tell anyone. You don't need to be ashamed of the fact that you're diabetic - but no-one really needs to know as long as you are responsible and take control of the condition now. You're in a great position where you've found this site early on and you CAN take full control of your diabetes.

    You'll be surprised how easy it is - INCLUDING how easy it is to lose the weight now that you know you are T2.
     
  6. hanadr

    hanadr · Expert

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    You should not be ashamed of Diabetes. you've done nothing wrong.
    the work colleague who comments on what you eat is being rude and impertinent. If needs be, shame him/her, by commenting on their rudeness. It is absolutely no-one else's business what you eat.
    Hana
     
  7. Dippy3103

    Dippy3103 · Well-Known Member

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    Thanks for the wise words, they are appreciated. I probably will tell people in time... when i am ready for the questions.... And in the meantime i can straighten my hair tomorrow so my loving colleague can send the day telling me about the damage they will do to my hair!!!!
    I know it will all turn out fine in the end- people deal with bigger problems everyday!

    Thanks again.
     
  8. kateincornwall

    kateincornwall Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    I felt so sad reading your post and can really understand how you feel , even though you shouldnt feel like this at all . I was diagnosed yesterday and have only told a very few people and most said " Oh well , time to shed some weight then and sort your regime out !" That didnt make me ashamed, it made me mad ! I am 62, have a severely disabled husband and so walk our two dogs every day, for about two miles, do all the housework, gardening and taking care of my husband . I eat a healthy diet, maybe too much but its mainly healthy , I dont want a medal for what i have to do , but neither do I want others pre judging me as if I`ve brought diabetes on myself . Hold your head high, tell people when you want to and please dont be ashamed x
    Kate
     
  9. FordPrefect

    FordPrefect · Well-Known Member

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    TBH sad and pathetic individuals like your work collegue are the worst some of people. Its none of his buisness quite frankly and unhelpful and hurtful comments like this can really knock some people back. Being overweight can be a cycle thats also mental and emotional and spiteful comments like these reinforce the bad feelings people have that pushes them to overeat. Its important you realise this and realise his pathetic comments are just an attempt to cover his own lack of confidence by doing what sad and pathetic people like this do, I have no self esteem so I wil bully people who have less than me.
     
  10. frenchkittie

    frenchkittie · Well-Known Member

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    If anyone lobs any hurtful comments your way, why not take a leaf from Churchill's book?

    Tell them "I might well be overweight, but at least it is something that I can change. You, on the other hand, will always be a nasty piece of work" :twisted:

    If you can't bring yourself to say it, just think it, very loudly.
     
  11. Janieb

    Janieb · Well-Known Member

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    If it makes you feel any better I was diagoised in June type 2 but diet only no meds yet - when I was first weighed I nearly died 20 stone 9 pounds.
    since then I have lost 2 stone and going down just by cutting out sugary stuff reducing my portions and I bought myself a cross trainer.

    Dont be embarrassed about having type 2 - I had my own sister saying oh its because you're overweight very innoying but they get over it when you explain. My brother thought Diabetes was basically blobs of fat in your blood cells ( bless him guess all of the bombs in Iraq harmed his brain lol) .
     
  12. valattrevear

    valattrevear · Well-Known Member

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    frenchkittie, **** good advice there! :evil: :evil: . I am still waiting after well over half a century to meet the person who is so perfect they can afford to pass comment on others! Dippy, the only people who matter are you and the people you love. Stuff the rest! No shame is involved in developing diabetes, it can happen to anyone, and your judgemental workmate would do well to remember that.
     
  13. Dippy3103

    Dippy3103 · Well-Known Member

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    I like that..... i can see many uses for it too! Thanks.
     
  14. brill

    brill Type 2 · Well-Known Member

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    Dippy,

    I know exactly how you feel! I was diagnosed 6 months ago and since my BMI was 36 I also felt I'd brought it on myself, even though I ate a "healthy" diet, as I thought. I told my boss, as I was taking time off for blood tests etc but still haven't told my colleagues directly as couldn't face all the "advice" I'd get.
    I got caught out recently though and had to explain to one of them why my diet was so strict I had to eat my restaurent curry without the rice.... I'm waiting for the comments to start now...ugh!
    However, I have my weight and my blood sugar under good control now, so I do feel I can hold my head up a bit more and just brazen it out. Stories, like Clearview's, I read on this website really help bolster my confidence too!
    Best of luck Dippy,

    Brill
     
  15. Jung the foreman

    Jung the foreman Parent · Well-Known Member

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    Dont be ashamed, but If it takes a while for you to accept it then I can undserstand this as it took me about 3-4 months or so to come to terms with being diagnosed. Just make sure you understand and accept it so you can make the necessary adjustments to your life style and try to take no notice of what other people say or think as the vast majority have no idea what they are talking about.

    Good Luck
     
  16. sandymaynard

    sandymaynard · Well-Known Member

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    Hi Dippy,
    There is nothing to be ashmed of!
    When i first got worried that i could have diabeties back in feb of this year! I joined this website!
    Okay here goes! BAck in feb of this year i weighed in at 20 plus stones!! There is nothing to be ashmed of at all! Trust me!
    I hope that this might help you not be ashmed! Don't be! Look at me i have lost alot of weight since! I am proud of myself for the amount that i have lost! I have lost alot of weight!
    You aer among friends here who will help you!
    I am going to be honest with you! I ahve found a little gentle exercise and allowing myself not to eat too much! I drink alot more water before meals now and this really helps slow the amount that i eat!
    I am 34 it is alot to take in that this is for life! But here I am! I have had it since april of this year! Well april fools day! Here i am no meds so far!
    I am going to be honest with you! Without the people on this forum i would of gone up the wall! I didnot know where to turn!
    Thing is now you have type 2! Time to change a few things and make things better! It will take a while for it to sink in! Don't worry that is normal to take time! Just remember that there is always someone knocking around!
    Sandy
     
  17. ShyGirl

    ShyGirl · Well-Known Member

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  18. Synonym

    Synonym · Well-Known Member

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    Hello Dippy and welcome!

    When we receive the diagnosis of Diabetes I think that we all go through a kind of grieving process to start with. :( It is a shame but not something you need to be ashamed of!

    My son commented, “Poor you, you’re broken” and I think that was a good summing up of how I felt especially as I was very helpfully told by the DN that it will all get worse from here on. I know now that this was not true as I have used the information and personal experiences of the members on this forum to help me along the road to controlling my bg levels and life is slowly getting better.

    I think that the members on this site are undoubtedly a good cross-section of the general population. If you look at the postings on this site you will see how little is known by those who are newly diagnosed with diabetes and in turn that will give you a very good idea of how little the general population knows about it.

    When you look at all the mis-information that is put out in adverts to frighten everyone into eating what is considered a healthy diet (for non diabetics) and also the mis-information that is shovelled out at the newly diagnosed then it is no wonder we are all confused about diabetes. :?

    At this point one can almost feel sorry for your abusive colleague at work who is clearly very ignorant and has no idea that he has shown himself as rude and arrogant too. But not quite, as anyone behaving so badly is hardly worthy of such a kind thought! :roll:

    If you add in the fact that T2s are actively discouraged from testing and taking control of their condition then it is no wonder that we all put on weight unless we get help from others who have already trodden the path we now find ourselves on.

    And some of us feel pretty badly let down by those who couldn’t read the signs and had a really tough time in getting diagnosed in the first place!

    In any case you seem to have started to get a grip on your particular situation and this is the place to get the help and support you need.

    If a part of you is broken you don’t keep pushing that part to do what it can’t. My body can’t deal with starchy carbohydrate so I don’t eat it! Simples!? :lol:
     
  19. candyfloss

    candyfloss · Well-Known Member

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    I was diagnosed T2 about 6 months ago at age 61. I never felt ashamed. After all its a very common 'condition' throughout the world. My father also had it and he lived into his 80's. He might have gone on a bit more if he could have given up his apple pies and custard but then he didnt let it stop him enjoying his later years.

    In some respects I thought myself lucky that never being shy of going to the Doctor for regular check ups (unlike some men) I found out about it at an early stage and it empowered me to get up off my not so fat butt and do some exercise and watch what I ate more carefully, learn more about nutrition and how my metabolism works.

    Now I tell virtually everyone I meet. I have learnt so much about it I grab every opportunity to educate others if they are interested to know more.

    I know it must have been a shock for you but I would NEVER feel ashamed and I hope you quickly overcome the initial negative feelings. :D
     
  20. meemo2

    meemo2 · Newbie

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    I was diagnosed in March this year, therefore I'm a newcomer so to speak, if anybody asks I tell them I'm type 2 diabetic and if I don't look after my feet they will ulcerate and fall off. This reply tends to stop any other questions.
    Just remember we have nothing to be ashamed of !
     
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