1. Get the Diabetes Forum App for your phone - available on iOS and Android.
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Guest, we'd love to know what you think about the forum! Take the Diabetes Forum Survey 2022 »
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Diabetes Forum should not be used in an emergency and does not replace your healthcare professional relationship. Posts can be seen by the public.
    Dismiss Notice
Dismiss Notice
Find support, ask questions and share your experiences. Join the community »

teen refusing to do insulin

Discussion in 'Parents' started by Tracey 68, Jul 22, 2015.

  1. lucyturniptree

    lucyturniptree Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    64
    Likes Received:
    46
    Trophy Points:
    58
    I was diagnosed 12 years ago when I was 16. When I was 18 I went through a phase that sounds exactly like what your daughter is going through. I was so angry at being diabetic. I hated everyone. My parents, my friends, the medical team, non diabetics, diabetics, everyone. I felt like nobody quite understood what I was going through. I would binge eat rubbish (whole packets of cookies, donuts, ice cream) and barely take my insulin. I quite liked that high feeling, but also I just wanted to not be diabetic. I hid it from my family because the more concerned they got the more I resented them. My Mum would ask if I had taken my reading or nag about insulin. The more she asked about it, the less I wanted to talk because she obviously didn't get it!! It made sense at the time. I felt let down by the medical team and I stopped going to my clinics because they were a depressing waste of time.
    But having gone through this and come out of the other side, I know it wasn't my mum's fault, just like this isn't your fault. You haven't done anything wrong. My Mum still blames herself, but it was about me getting my head around my lifelong sentence.
    I don't know what it was that made me stop feeling like that, but once I accepted that it was part of me, it started to get better. It was a change in mindset that happened to me, not something that someone said to me. Your daughter is going through a difficult time and will find her own solutions. All you can do is be there when she decides she is ready, support her decisions and love her despite her mistakes.
    It is really scary, but my experience was that I needed to go through it and find my own way.
    Hope things get better soon. Xx
     
    • Like Like x 7
  2. Rac91963

    Rac91963 Type 1 · Newbie

    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Hi my son is 16 he's gone though exactly the same wouldn't do his insulin properly and do his sugars but I've been taking him to the hospital every week for a check up and they told me to back off basically and just check his meter on the sly so I've been doing that and it seems to be working atm dnt knw if something like that would work for you hope that's a bit of help I thought it was hard when he was younger but it's much more difficult when they are teenagers good luck
     
    • Like Like x 2
  3. Brunneria

    Brunneria Other · Guru
    Retired Moderator

    Messages:
    21,807
    Likes Received:
    35,058
    Trophy Points:
    298
    It may be that seeing what her sister is now experiencing has brought up a lot of upset and memories of her own diagnosis. It is going to be a very tough time for her.

    My memories of being a (non diabetic) teenager are that any instruction/reminders by my parents would absolutely guarantee that i would do the opposite.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  4. Bethaniiee

    Bethaniiee Type 1 · Newbie

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    41
    I feel exactly the same! I get treated as though I am diabetes and not Beth! Everyone asks how my diabetes is not how I'm doing, how I'm feeling etc. I haven't taken my short acting insulin for 3 years, I know this is very dangerous but I just can't do it. I have issues with my weight and am scared insulin will make me put weight on but also because I resent diabetes! I hate it! I don't want it and so I pretend I don't have it! People without diabetes don't understand how hard it is living with this disease! :( take care! Xx
     
  5. Star47

    Star47 · Member

    Messages:
    17
    Likes Received:
    18
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Hi Tracey, my 19 year old son has Type 1. Have a read of this article http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/real-life/diabetic-who-became-blind-after-3561641 about a 24 year old lady. You could perhaps print it out and put it in an envelope together with a card from yourself telling your daughter how much you love and care for her perhaps her sister might manage a card too in the same envelope and either post it to her or leave it in her room, perhaps other family members could do a card with caring messages, don't say anything about the diabetes in your cards the article speaks for it's self. Or, just send cards and leave the article lying around the house for her to come across as and when. The idea of actually posting cards to her is just to keep it light. perhaps send funny cards with happy messages. One thing I've learn't as a parent, is that when it all gets negative it just gets worse, they know that they are doing the wrong thing and feel very negative already and sometimes find it hard to express themselves, oh yes and another idea, look up diabetic Danica on you tube https://www.youtube.com/user/DiabeticDanica she is fabulous! have a watch yourself she done lots of videos and is very popular hope this helps you all in some way :)
     
  6. TayNicole

    TayNicole Type 1 · Newbie

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    41
    Hi Tracey Is she type 1?? If she is talking from experience it is serious not doing insulin, I was diagnosed at 10 and I had the same attitude through my teens, but I had a wake up call when I was in hospital with DKA fighting for my life because I abused my diabetes thinking it wouldn't effect me. I think you need to sit down with your daughter and explain the seriousness of her not injecting and it not about dis trusting her it's about she can have a normal life if she controls it because I bet her sugars are sky high which effects her moods as well. Hope you make your daughter realise what she is doing as its life threatening.
     
  7. Vanessa_M

    Vanessa_M Type 1 · Member

    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    21
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Heyy,
    I have been diabetic for 13yrs since I were 9... I went through a stage of this around 15... Atm I'm guessing she's wanting to take control because she feels her diabetes is taking control of her that's how mine started... Because of me doing this I started to get diabetic eye change... Luckily it's improved... She needs as much support ad anything and I suggest you make her watch stuff about not taking her insulin properly and ring her diabetes team and ask for their advice... Atleast she is taking one of her insulins so she is having some... It could also be because she may want to lose weight... the higher the bloods, the more weight you lose... Just have a chilled conversation with her and find out what's going on to make her feel like this... :)
     
  8. VixyA86

    VixyA86 · Member

    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    14
    Trophy Points:
    23
    Bethaniiee I have been in your position, now I am 29 and suffering life changing complications. I know it's scary knowing that if you start taking your insulin you will put on a bit of weight, but this is NOTHING compared to how devastated you'll feel when you realise that you've damaged your body for good, and that nothing or no doctor in the world can make it better again. Ever. Don't want to scare you, and I know you'll read this and think "yeah....but that'll never happen to me...", but trust me, it will. Feel free to message me if you want to talk.
     
  9. Suzie Quartly

    Suzie Quartly · Active Member

    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    20
    Trophy Points:
    28
    This might just be clutching at staws, but with 2 in the same family diagnosed with diabetes, I would be pushing for a genetic screen to rule out MODY. Awareness of this is very limited even amongst diabetic nurses. MODY is mid aged onset diabetes of the young. It is an inherited form of diabetes that manifests itself as type 1 in children (under 25's) However it is actually a type 2 and therefore will respond to oral medications in theory. As I say, its a shot in the dark but might be your salvation, for both girls. It is thought that I carry the MODY gene, but they wont test me as I am on oral treatments OK. My son says he has been on insulin for 20 yrs, why upset the apple cart, but we are trying to get my granddaughter tested to free her from injections
     
  10. DJChaka

    DJChaka Type 1 · Newbie

    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    41
    Hi Tracey as Kathryn says above there can be many reasons non Diabetes related that have made your daughter choose not to take her insulin. I did something similar following a bad break up because I saw it as a way at hitting out at the person. It was a silly decision and I ended up in hospital. I don't want to sound like I'm telling you how to parent but why not have a mother/daughter day just the two of you. Go out and have some fun and just observe her and see how she is. Maybe she'll open up, maybe you'll notice she doesn't do her insulin or perhaps you'll just both have a great day out and you notice she is doing her insulin and it will put your mind at ease. Although I'm new to the forums I would recommend that any fellow diabetic join because I've discovered a lot of things I didn't personally know through talking to other diabetics. Good luck and keep us informed how she's doing
     
  11. Violet22

    Violet22 Researcher · Newbie

    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Don't envy your position (having a teenager) and you are not going to win easily. The thing about not trusting her suggests she has a plan. It looks like you will have to watch very closely and at the first sign of trouble call an ambulance. Good luck and I hope things work out well.
     
  12. Shaggy_dog

    Shaggy_dog Type 1 · Member

    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    2
    Trophy Points:
    43
    It's not easy. Unfortunately most teenagers believe they are indestructible and will do whatever they want. It will do you no good to nag her, but see if you can get the two sisters talking to each other (on their own) as perhaps the newly diagnosed one can point out the error of her sister's ways. Trying to scare her, or threatening her is unlikely to work, you have to be prepared to listen to her and trust her to make the realisations. Good luck.
     
  13. slip

    slip Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    3,526
    Likes Received:
    5,390
    Trophy Points:
    198
    Sure she's not rebelling because the Diabetes sport light isn't on her any more? Ask 2nd daughter to ask 1st daughter for help and guidence from her (and report back!)
     
  14. videoman

    videoman Type 1 · Well-Known Member

    Messages:
    192
    Likes Received:
    99
    Trophy Points:
    68
    There is only one message to give her is this, she wants to die a horrible death or lose sight ,legs and go on to Dialysis’

    Thats what was in my future in 1960 but I learned that to life life to the full with a slight injection every day,she will live a longer life that what may happend to her if she refuses insulin
     
  15. melaskew

    melaskew · Newbie

    Messages:
    3
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    21
    My daughter was the same but hers was linked to bulemia as well due to the insulin making her gain weight. She did however take her long acting insulin but when her hair started falling out in clumps and her nails and skin bore the evidence too it began to scare her. Does her diabetic team have a psychologist/ psychiatrist on team? My daughter responded well to talking to someone she was very hostile to begin with and it has been a long and very rocky road. I also made her read harrowing accounts of young people who have died from doing this and the lasting damage that this has caused. It has only really been the last 6 months that she has come onboard when she had to deal with her younger brother having a seizure due to a low blood sugar that she has begunlooking after herself and she has realised what she has put us through ( we are coming up to 7 years since diagnosis). I would like to say this will be a quick and easy fix but she needs to get there herself before you can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I also tried pitching one as a role model to the other but she couldn't care less. Good luck
     
  16. terriebari

    terriebari Other · Newbie

    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    43
    I went through this, too, only it was me, not my child. I think when i was around 18 and again in my mid 20s.
    Don't nag her, and whatever you do, don't tell her all of the evil things that could happen to her. Instead, find out why she's not taking it. We all get tired of it-tired of dealing with it, tired of medications, etc.

    Instead, focus on all of the things she can look forward to with a long healthy lifestyle. Are there things that she loves doing? Talk about the future-her future- and all she will get to experience. She is old enough to know that if she wants to do those things, she has to be healthy to do them.

    Just be as positive as you can be. Because right now, she might be feeling hopeless and just tired of the whole "routine"

    Good luck!
     
  17. terriebari

    terriebari Other · Newbie

    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    43
    DO NOT NOT NOT do that. It will push her in the EXACT opposite direction. If she's already feeling hopeless and tired, this will only make it worse. Take it from one who has been there.
     
    • Like Like x 2
  18. terriebari

    terriebari Other · Newbie

    Messages:
    4
    Likes Received:
    5
    Trophy Points:
    43
    This is my experience as well!
     
  19. Tracey 68

    Tracey 68 Parent · Member

    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Thank you to all of you she has finally sort councilling and is going to sessions i hope this helps her and i have told her about this forum and she has said she might take a look once again thank you
     
    • Like Like x 3
  20. Allana88

    Allana88 Type 1 · Member

    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    43
    I sympathise with ur daughter, i also went thru this, i went 10 years with only taking insulin occasionally nd spent a lot of time in hospital. Iv now bn diabetic 20 years and lost 95% my eyesight due to my actions. To this day my parents blame themselves but truth is there is nothing they could have said to me to make me accept it. M so glad she has decided to try get it sorted before it affects her future. I wish her all the best.x
     
  • Meet the Community

    Find support, connect with others, ask questions and share your experiences with people with diabetes, their carers and family.

    Did you know: 7 out of 10 people improve their understanding of diabetes within 6 months of being a Diabetes Forum member. Get the Diabetes Forum App and stay connected on iOS and Android

    Grab the app!
  • Tweet with us

  • Like us on Facebook